Can't poop for the life of me. (Maybe NSFW)
August 6, 2012 7:06 PM Subscribe
Can't bring myself to poop in public. Absolute brick. Need help on how to break this up (pun intended). May not be work safe, and sorry if it's a bit on the TMI territory.
posted by dubious_dude to health & fitness (16 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I've got a, well, shitty problem. Pun intended.
For a long time now, I've had this really bad fear of going poop in public, and even with other people around at home. It's not a fear, per se, or anxiety-related, because my heart isn't beating every time I'm going poop. It's more of a psychological thing, I guess.
Let me backtrack. When I was in middle school, I lived in a dorm with other boys (went to a residential Deaf school). While I was in the bathroom, other residents would kick/pound hard on the door, startling me and even scaring me, causing my heart to beat and feeling in fear (because of the strong pounding sensation). That, combined with the chaotic environment, really influenced my ability to go poop with people around.
As I got older and moved on to high school, I could only go poop in private, secluded places, or late at night when I was sure everyone was asleep. This resulted in me sometimes having to hold in poop for 2 or 3 nights.
This 'fear' also remained with me at home, and even having my own family around did not allow or enable me to go poop when anyone was around, and I also had to wait until late at night.
This has carried on with me throughout college and now, and I'm very tired of it. I've tried therapy, suggestions that I imagine a barrier between me and others and an inability for people to cross that barrier, and breathing. None of those has helped. It's even came to the point that I can't text or email anyone a while before going poop, out of the 'fear' that they will text me back and it'll disrupt my 'quiet time' before going poop... and my iPhone must be in airplane mode when going poop. No expectations. As I can't go poop at home (roommates), I must find hotels or other isolated places where I can go poop... most preferably in a private bathroom, not a shared stall space. This delays my schedule, because after work, I have to find somewhere to go poop, and really interferes with the quality of my life in terms of texting and feeling comfortable. I go almost everyday now, but sometimes after eating, I have cramps and feel a "must" to go poop. In true emergency situations, I will be able to do a few poops in a 'public' space (such as a restaurant bathroom), but it's still uncomfortable.
Help me with ideas and solutions on how to overcome this problem. It's really gotten old and just downright unbearable. Please do not suggest therapy, as I have already tried that route. I hope my ruminating made sense, because in my head it all makes sense, but on 'paper' it probably makes no sense to any of you.
Thanks, hive minds!