Dead grasshopper

September 27, 2005 10:22 AM

My fingers are stuck in a chinese finger trap at the office, and my coworkers refuse to help.

Googling 'chinese finger trap solution' isn't working. FIX ME

posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh to grab bag (30 comments total)

Don't pull - push?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:23 AM on September 27, 2005

Stop pulling. Press the tips of your fingers together then remove one finger at a time.
posted by jrossi4r at 10:24 AM on September 27, 2005

Push and turn, if just pushing doesn't work.
posted by WCityMike at 10:24 AM on September 27, 2005

How the hell did you type this? I smell hoax.

Grasp each end with your thumb and middle fingers, and push inwards. The ends will expand. Then, you can carefully pull your index fingers out.
posted by Plutor at 10:24 AM on September 27, 2005 [2 favorites]

Obligatory Wikipedia link. But, yeah, I smell hoax, too.
posted by WCityMike at 10:25 AM on September 27, 2005

Is that you, W?
Try Google Images.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:26 AM on September 27, 2005

I might not be bright, but Im also not bright enough to lie.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 10:27 AM on September 27, 2005

YEAH!!!!! Thank you guys so much.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 10:29 AM on September 27, 2005

wow... you were serious.

i was going suggest just pulling your fingers apart until it broke. the traps aren't exactly made of carbon fiber and they cost all of a nickel.
posted by bryak at 10:38 AM on September 27, 2005

Actually, I tried picking up a pair of scissors, but I couldn't get it swung around right.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 10:49 AM on September 27, 2005

How'd you type this?
posted by klangklangston at 11:21 AM on September 27, 2005

Slowly. And frustratingly.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 11:26 AM on September 27, 2005 [1 favorite]

Wow, I thought everyone learned how to get out of those in the second grade. But then, I'm a person who got the joke "What's black and white and red all over?" about five years ago.
posted by Specklet at 11:35 AM on September 27, 2005

I've seen these everywhere. I vaguely knew there was a "trick" involved, and that certainly I could figure it out.

MAN, FOILED BY HIS OWN HUBRIS.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 11:40 AM on September 27, 2005 [4 favorites]

It's hard to mentally shut out the finger trap when it succeeds. It's a sucking feeling on your fingers that somehow broadcasts failure and diminished mental facilities to everyone around you.

The office and my father have now seen this thread, so while the finger trap is hushed, I have a new beacon of DUHHHH
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 1:07 PM on September 27, 2005 [1 favorite]

I didn't know that any chinese finger traps existed that actually worked. All the ones I've ever used have been cheap pieces of crap that wouldn't even hold your fingers in, really.
posted by odinsdream at 2:16 PM on September 27, 2005

i used to be deathly afraid of chinese finger traps when i was a kid and stayed well clear when they poured forth from schoolyard pinata. I always imagined myself getting stuck indefinitely, doomed to having a red, purple and green weave forever fastened around my index fingers.

then i moved on to more rational fears, like women.
posted by fishfucker at 2:27 PM on September 27, 2005

ff: they operate on the same principle as the finger traps. Push, don't pull.
posted by ?! at 2:47 PM on September 27, 2005

I hereby bestow upon this thread the "BEST QUESTION AND ANSWERS EVER" award.
posted by wolftrouble at 3:48 PM on September 27, 2005

and the world is a better place
posted by Cranberry at 3:53 PM on September 27, 2005

wow. i thought this thread was going to be about a metaphorical finger trap.
posted by cathodeheart at 4:38 PM on September 27, 2005

I heard that somewhere in Asia they catch monkeys by hollowing out a coconut, leaving a hole (just big enough for a monkey to get his hand inside), baiting it with seeds or nuts, and chaining it to a tree. The monkey reaches in for the seeds, but can't withdraw a closed fist. The locals can then walk up and catch the monkey, who will not let go of the seeds to open his fist. Now if you had an infinite number of monkeys, eventually one would AskMefi.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:39 PM on September 27, 2005

then i moved on to more rational fears, like women.
posted by fishfucker at 2:27 PM PST on September 27 [!]

Ah, that's where your name came from.
posted by darkmatter at 4:39 PM on September 27, 2005

do you wanna know what NOT to put in there?
posted by HuronBob at 4:42 PM on September 27, 2005

dead grasshopper?
posted by kimota at 4:57 PM on September 27, 2005

So are you telling me I have to let go of these delicious seeds to get my hand out of this coconut?
posted by bachelor#3 at 5:36 PM on September 27, 2005

Googling works if you remove the quotes (10th down).
posted by tellurian at 5:44 PM on September 27, 2005

Don't worry. Even Data got confused.
posted by xyzzy at 1:27 AM on September 28, 2005

Nice use of the idiot tag!
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 11:33 AM on September 29, 2005

I heard that somewhere in Asia they catch monkeys by hollowing out a coconut, leaving a hole (just big enough for a monkey to get his hand inside), baiting it with seeds or nuts, and chaining it to a tree. The monkey reaches in for the seeds, but can't withdraw a closed fist.

There's something similar with raccoons in Where the Red Fern Grows.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:32 PM on October 14, 2005