Intimidation: how to deal with it and how to deal it.
May 7, 2010 11:21 AM Subscribe
I need to deal with intimidation and be intimidating myself. I am, alas, of an accommodating nature. How do I do that?
posted by anonymous to human relations (23 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
(Anonymous because really, would you cop to being a chump like me? I thought not.)
I'm an attorney. I'm out of a job right now (thank you very much, economy), but I recently represented someone in an eviction lawsuit. We agreed to a settlement, but opposing counsel scared the shit out of me every time we talked on the phone, up to the point where I had to spend a good twenty minutes psyching myself up just to talk with the asshole.
Being able to deal with people like that and being a person like that myself are absolutely irreplacable in my profession. However, I can't do that now, and I don't know how to do so.
I need to be able to talk to people, whether over the telephone or in real life, and scare them into doing what I want them to do (if they're weaker) or into dealing with me as an equal (if they're equal or stronger).
How do I do that? How does a mouse like me learn how to deal with intimidation and be intimidating?
I know I'm being a jerk here. But in my world, you must be able to be a jerk or you won't survive--you'll get completely eaten by the jerks. The last guy I was up against was a name partner of the firm, and I'm just some stupid, worthless, unemployed fuckwad who volunteers to represent people too dumb to pay their rent, answer their lawyer's phone calls, or be consistent in their stories from one day to the next. I'm not only the attorney; I'm also acting as the social worker, messenger, investigator, paralegal, and secretary. I'm kinda up against a wall here.
If you're going to recommend local resources, I'm in the SF Bay Area. Throwaway email: AMDumbChump@gmail.com.