The spirit is willing. The flesh is about to puke.
August 6, 2013 10:00 AM Subscribe
I'm not nervous for my upcoming trip. So how do I get my body to calm down about it?
Tomorrow I'm headed off for my annual action-packed week with my sister on the east coast (all over the DMV region). I've been planning and preparing for this trip for months, and our time together easily has been the highlight of my whole year in the past. I've spent enough time thinking about it and communicating with my sister that we have some kind of a plan in place for everything that can be planned for, and what cannot be planned for we'll just have to use our brains to work through.
The problem is that my body is in meltdown. For the last couple of days I've been dealing with sleeplessness, nausea, occasional loss of appetite, jittery feelings, liquifying bowels, and generally feeling wired and overtorqued. I identify these symptoms as being related to nervousness. This comes despite the fact that I made significant cutbacks in my caffeine consumption weeks ago. And I'm really not nervous! I'm the only person I know who really enjoys flying, for example! (Not the security lines, but no one likes security lines.) I've done some of the things that we'll be doing before, and I had a blast the last time! However, I'm already starting to feel crappy even though I haven't left yet, and it's going to make the high tempo of my trip even more difficult if I can't eat, sleep and poop as normally as possible. I keep going over what might be causing this anxiety, and I've covered pretty much everything that can be covered.
Is there anything I can do at this somewhat late stage to get myself under control?
Tomorrow I'm headed off for my annual action-packed week with my sister on the east coast (all over the DMV region). I've been planning and preparing for this trip for months, and our time together easily has been the highlight of my whole year in the past. I've spent enough time thinking about it and communicating with my sister that we have some kind of a plan in place for everything that can be planned for, and what cannot be planned for we'll just have to use our brains to work through.
The problem is that my body is in meltdown. For the last couple of days I've been dealing with sleeplessness, nausea, occasional loss of appetite, jittery feelings, liquifying bowels, and generally feeling wired and overtorqued. I identify these symptoms as being related to nervousness. This comes despite the fact that I made significant cutbacks in my caffeine consumption weeks ago. And I'm really not nervous! I'm the only person I know who really enjoys flying, for example! (Not the security lines, but no one likes security lines.) I've done some of the things that we'll be doing before, and I had a blast the last time! However, I'm already starting to feel crappy even though I haven't left yet, and it's going to make the high tempo of my trip even more difficult if I can't eat, sleep and poop as normally as possible. I keep going over what might be causing this anxiety, and I've covered pretty much everything that can be covered.
Is there anything I can do at this somewhat late stage to get myself under control?
Are you sure you aren't just actually ill? Being prone to anxiety attacks myself, I have occasionally taken xanax for stomach upset and been profoundly disappointed to learn that while it's great for panic attacks, it doesn't do a dang thing when your actual problem is gastroenteritis. The two tend to look a bit alike at the start...
posted by like_a_friend at 10:18 AM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by like_a_friend at 10:18 AM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
Personally I get rid of this freefloating, unexplained anxiety, on the rare occasions that it strikes, by going to the gym and Running Really Really Fast until I'm exhausted. But I don't want to undermine the important point by posters above that this could be a real medical issue.
posted by oliverburkeman at 10:22 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by oliverburkeman at 10:22 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
As an endurance athlete, I hear you. Usually I lose sleep the night before a race and I have to run to the bathroom three or four times in the last couple of hours before a marathon even though I'm not "nervous." But you know what the best cure for all that is? The starting gun.
You're leaving tomorrow. If you're not actually sick [fingers crossed], you may as well just grin & bear it until you get on the plane... there's a good chance you might find yourself relaxing natually then.
posted by psoas at 10:26 AM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
You're leaving tomorrow. If you're not actually sick [fingers crossed], you may as well just grin & bear it until you get on the plane... there's a good chance you might find yourself relaxing natually then.
posted by psoas at 10:26 AM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I get this way sometimes, and it seems to go away as soon as I start the travel. I would try hanging in there for one more day. Maybe distract yourself with a guilty pleasure tv show/movie to make you think of things other than the vacation, and take some OTC meds for sleep/poop problems.
posted by Fig at 10:29 AM on August 6, 2013
posted by Fig at 10:29 AM on August 6, 2013
I identify these symptoms as being related to nervousness. ... And I'm really not nervous!
Nervousness is those symptoms. If you have those symptoms, you are nervous. So, your question is really: I am nervous and I don't want to be, how do I calm down?
My nervousness comes from a nagging suspicion that I will be unprepared to leave when the time comes. So what helps me is to make sure I am prepared. In the weeks leading up to a big trip I will make lists: lists of things to do to prepare for the trip, lists of things to take on the trip, lists of things to take on the trip but that we don't have yet and so which need to be bought, lists of things that will be happening in the days before and after the trip but which are not directly related to it, and so on. My wife and I are planning to go to Ireland in less than three weeks (with a dog show the weekend before!) so I am currently knee-deep in that. Every time my wife or I think of something, I add it to a list. By the time we leave I will be satisfied that I haven't forgotten anything important, which results in a tolerable level of anxiety. When I am on the plane, I can relax.
N.B. I forgot to pack underwear for my wedding. Of course, one can buy underwear pretty much anywhere, so this turned out not to be a big deal at all. Realize that most of the things you might be worried about are of much the same kind.
As another data point, I once read an anecdote about how Bruce Springsteen reputedly deals with stage fright. He doesn't get frightened of going on stage; he gets excited to go on stage. It's the same feeling other performers get, but he (intentionally or not) interprets it differently, and so looks forward to performing rather than dreading it.
posted by kindall at 10:32 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Nervousness is those symptoms. If you have those symptoms, you are nervous. So, your question is really: I am nervous and I don't want to be, how do I calm down?
My nervousness comes from a nagging suspicion that I will be unprepared to leave when the time comes. So what helps me is to make sure I am prepared. In the weeks leading up to a big trip I will make lists: lists of things to do to prepare for the trip, lists of things to take on the trip, lists of things to take on the trip but that we don't have yet and so which need to be bought, lists of things that will be happening in the days before and after the trip but which are not directly related to it, and so on. My wife and I are planning to go to Ireland in less than three weeks (with a dog show the weekend before!) so I am currently knee-deep in that. Every time my wife or I think of something, I add it to a list. By the time we leave I will be satisfied that I haven't forgotten anything important, which results in a tolerable level of anxiety. When I am on the plane, I can relax.
N.B. I forgot to pack underwear for my wedding. Of course, one can buy underwear pretty much anywhere, so this turned out not to be a big deal at all. Realize that most of the things you might be worried about are of much the same kind.
As another data point, I once read an anecdote about how Bruce Springsteen reputedly deals with stage fright. He doesn't get frightened of going on stage; he gets excited to go on stage. It's the same feeling other performers get, but he (intentionally or not) interprets it differently, and so looks forward to performing rather than dreading it.
posted by kindall at 10:32 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Meditation, maybe? I am no practitioner, and I'm pretty bad at sticking to it-- but I find it really helps to release stress and anxiety.
Lay in bed. I usually try and concentrate on the darkness, since I find 'clearing my mind' completely too difficult. If your thoughts drift to the trip, try and come back to the blackness each time. Breathe in deep in and out. Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm inhaling good things and cleaning out all bad thoughts and feelings and pains of the day, and when I exhale they're gone.
Another technique I know of is to lay in bed, and slowly clench each muscle/body part in turn, holding for about five seconds, and release. So you go through, first by clenching your forehead, then you move down to your eyes... face, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, torso, etc etc, then finish off with your feet and toes. It should take a while to do each body part. Once you've done that, you then clench your whole body for a few seconds, then release, letting all the anxiety drain away on that last release. On the release you try to drift into that feeling of relaxedness, making sure everything is loose. This works for me when I need a real physical way to release stress, or when I'm really wound up about something and the regular way of relaxing just won't cut it because my mind is going a mile-a minute.
In the same way, really strenuous exercise, or something to keep your mind really really engaged might help too.
I hope that helps a little.
posted by Dimes at 10:48 AM on August 6, 2013
Lay in bed. I usually try and concentrate on the darkness, since I find 'clearing my mind' completely too difficult. If your thoughts drift to the trip, try and come back to the blackness each time. Breathe in deep in and out. Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm inhaling good things and cleaning out all bad thoughts and feelings and pains of the day, and when I exhale they're gone.
Another technique I know of is to lay in bed, and slowly clench each muscle/body part in turn, holding for about five seconds, and release. So you go through, first by clenching your forehead, then you move down to your eyes... face, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, torso, etc etc, then finish off with your feet and toes. It should take a while to do each body part. Once you've done that, you then clench your whole body for a few seconds, then release, letting all the anxiety drain away on that last release. On the release you try to drift into that feeling of relaxedness, making sure everything is loose. This works for me when I need a real physical way to release stress, or when I'm really wound up about something and the regular way of relaxing just won't cut it because my mind is going a mile-a minute.
In the same way, really strenuous exercise, or something to keep your mind really really engaged might help too.
I hope that helps a little.
posted by Dimes at 10:48 AM on August 6, 2013
That's basically the way I was feeling during my epic wedding meltdown. (Okay, hopefully you're not that bad!)
Things that helped:
--This technique (thanks, RJ Reynolds!)
--For a little pharmaceutical assistance, I was not aware that antinausea meds and antihistamines were so similar. That's why people suggest Benadryl. Knowing I could go buy that OTC was really helpful.
--If you can't talk to your doctor or get a scrip ASAP (which you should be able to -- I called from Cape Cod), do you have any friends who are pregnant or taking chemo? My pregnant friend gave me Zofran and it saved my shit. The prescription I got later was hydroxyzine, aka Atarax. But before I took anything, because taking prescription drugs that are not for you is really not generally okay, I did research online as much as I could to see if there might be contraindications, etc. Because I was already feeling awful, so no sense getting worse, right?
I had taken Xanax once in the past and was really not a fan of getting doped up like that. With an antinausea med as opposed to an antianxiety, I felt like I had way more control at all times: deciding when I needed to take it, not feeling super foggy.
--What are some special things that you love or that you only do when you're traveling? Think about that. Buy yourself some cheesy novels and sushi; let yourself go to the spot in the airport that does massages.
--Let yourself feel weird. Not so much that it gets in the way, but admit it flat out: "Yeah, I feel gross, and I might be crying for no reason, but it's okay. I've just been under a lot of stress lately and things are going to be cool because I'm on vacation now." Don't try to suppress those feelings or the way they manifest themselves, because they'll just stay put.
Have fun! It'll be great!
posted by Madamina at 11:05 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Things that helped:
--This technique (thanks, RJ Reynolds!)
--For a little pharmaceutical assistance, I was not aware that antinausea meds and antihistamines were so similar. That's why people suggest Benadryl. Knowing I could go buy that OTC was really helpful.
--If you can't talk to your doctor or get a scrip ASAP (which you should be able to -- I called from Cape Cod), do you have any friends who are pregnant or taking chemo? My pregnant friend gave me Zofran and it saved my shit. The prescription I got later was hydroxyzine, aka Atarax. But before I took anything, because taking prescription drugs that are not for you is really not generally okay, I did research online as much as I could to see if there might be contraindications, etc. Because I was already feeling awful, so no sense getting worse, right?
I had taken Xanax once in the past and was really not a fan of getting doped up like that. With an antinausea med as opposed to an antianxiety, I felt like I had way more control at all times: deciding when I needed to take it, not feeling super foggy.
--What are some special things that you love or that you only do when you're traveling? Think about that. Buy yourself some cheesy novels and sushi; let yourself go to the spot in the airport that does massages.
--Let yourself feel weird. Not so much that it gets in the way, but admit it flat out: "Yeah, I feel gross, and I might be crying for no reason, but it's okay. I've just been under a lot of stress lately and things are going to be cool because I'm on vacation now." Don't try to suppress those feelings or the way they manifest themselves, because they'll just stay put.
Have fun! It'll be great!
posted by Madamina at 11:05 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
I think you might be wound up and overstimulated, rather than nervous. Overplanner's Syndrome.
Benadryl, fiber, some B-Complex (often marketed as Stress Formula as they tend to have a mild chill-out effect) and lots of water will probably give you enough relief to relax.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:13 AM on August 6, 2013
Benadryl, fiber, some B-Complex (often marketed as Stress Formula as they tend to have a mild chill-out effect) and lots of water will probably give you enough relief to relax.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:13 AM on August 6, 2013
Re Benadryl and Atarax: they make me really really sleepy, especially Atarax. I actually couldn't stay awake when I took one for hives years ago.
Klonopin is great if you can get a doctor to prescribe it. If you're not used to it, I would take no more than half a milligram. One milligram makes me sleepy.
That's my experience. Not everyone is the same of course.
Also, I find daydreaming very relaxing. I just lie down on the couch, propped up on cushions, and make up a story, a simple one like a soap opera (though I don't like actual soap operas). It helps me not think about the things that are stressing me out.
posted by Vispa Teresa at 12:31 PM on August 6, 2013
Klonopin is great if you can get a doctor to prescribe it. If you're not used to it, I would take no more than half a milligram. One milligram makes me sleepy.
That's my experience. Not everyone is the same of course.
Also, I find daydreaming very relaxing. I just lie down on the couch, propped up on cushions, and make up a story, a simple one like a soap opera (though I don't like actual soap operas). It helps me not think about the things that are stressing me out.
posted by Vispa Teresa at 12:31 PM on August 6, 2013
Beta blockers, which are often prescribed to musicians for stage fright, can help with exactly this: addressing the physical symptoms of anxiety that manifest even when one feels mentally under control. They basically just slow your heart rate down, and have the secondary effect of limiting the accompanying physical symptoms of nervousness (shallow breathing, damp palms, etc.) They can interrupt the feedback loop where your brain notices your heart start to race, interprets that as anxiety, get even more nervous about being nervous, and escalates from there.
It's probably too late to get a prescription now, but you might keep it in mind for later. To be honest, though, I got them for job interviews (anxiety sweating is a bitch) and they were not the magic bullet I'd hoped they'd be - they made me a little sleepy, and I still got sweaty palms. But if occasional travel-related anxiety causes you to get physically worked up, I bet a doctor would prescribe you some so you can try it out.
posted by pretentious illiterate at 12:43 PM on August 6, 2013
It's probably too late to get a prescription now, but you might keep it in mind for later. To be honest, though, I got them for job interviews (anxiety sweating is a bitch) and they were not the magic bullet I'd hoped they'd be - they made me a little sleepy, and I still got sweaty palms. But if occasional travel-related anxiety causes you to get physically worked up, I bet a doctor would prescribe you some so you can try it out.
posted by pretentious illiterate at 12:43 PM on August 6, 2013
Two things help me in such a situation- many times something will work but sometimes nothing does:
1. Just doing it anyway but giving yourself a potential exit. For example, you could say to yourself that yeah, you are tired, sleepless, sick, physically sick, anxious and what not but you can always catch a ride back home if you get really, really sick.
I think just knowing that having to do something is not my only and last option helps.
2. I tell myself to bear something that is anxiety provoking for five minutes only and then I will get up and leave the situation. When the five minutes are up, I say I will do the same thing for another five minutes and then I will get up and leave. I do this a couple of times and before I know it my anxious mind is lost somewhere else. (I am not sure what that really says about my mind but it does help!)
And there is always meds and yoga/your fav exercise.
You'll be fine, enjoy the trip!
posted by xm at 9:41 PM on August 6, 2013
1. Just doing it anyway but giving yourself a potential exit. For example, you could say to yourself that yeah, you are tired, sleepless, sick, physically sick, anxious and what not but you can always catch a ride back home if you get really, really sick.
I think just knowing that having to do something is not my only and last option helps.
2. I tell myself to bear something that is anxiety provoking for five minutes only and then I will get up and leave the situation. When the five minutes are up, I say I will do the same thing for another five minutes and then I will get up and leave. I do this a couple of times and before I know it my anxious mind is lost somewhere else. (I am not sure what that really says about my mind but it does help!)
And there is always meds and yoga/your fav exercise.
You'll be fine, enjoy the trip!
posted by xm at 9:41 PM on August 6, 2013
When I'm feeling panicky and anxious and can't figure out why, I like to watch something frivolous on TV, or sit and knit - I often find that the fretting finally works its way into my conscious mind, and I am often surprised at what's been worrying me. Once I've figured out what it is, I like to talk aloud about why whatever it is isn't a problem, or how I've already resolved it with planning.
I do get a bit nervous before travelling, even though I also enjoy flying! Sometimes it's down to preparation. A few years back we had a weekend away where both my partner and I thought the other had put the suitcase in the car, and it turned out neither of us had - we slept in our clothes and went shopping the next day, and it was one of the most fun weekends away we've had. Since then, I've had a bit of a list of things I couldn't easily replace on holiday - passport, money, medicine, prescriptions, and bras. (I'm an unusual size). Everything else you can either replace or do without. I do often have to repeat that to myself on the way to the airport, however.
I also often find that anxiety has deleterious effects on my digestive system, and I'd note that Immodium and similar products work by slowing down your digestive tract, and they work whether it's a virus or anxiety causing the diarrhea. Of course, digestive ailments cause a lot of anxiety too, so you'll probably find that once you've got that under control, your body will start to calm down.
posted by escapepod at 11:10 PM on August 6, 2013
I do get a bit nervous before travelling, even though I also enjoy flying! Sometimes it's down to preparation. A few years back we had a weekend away where both my partner and I thought the other had put the suitcase in the car, and it turned out neither of us had - we slept in our clothes and went shopping the next day, and it was one of the most fun weekends away we've had. Since then, I've had a bit of a list of things I couldn't easily replace on holiday - passport, money, medicine, prescriptions, and bras. (I'm an unusual size). Everything else you can either replace or do without. I do often have to repeat that to myself on the way to the airport, however.
I also often find that anxiety has deleterious effects on my digestive system, and I'd note that Immodium and similar products work by slowing down your digestive tract, and they work whether it's a virus or anxiety causing the diarrhea. Of course, digestive ailments cause a lot of anxiety too, so you'll probably find that once you've got that under control, your body will start to calm down.
posted by escapepod at 11:10 PM on August 6, 2013
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posted by k8t at 10:13 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]