Stop it. No, really, stop it.

August 2, 2013 12:42 PM

How do you force yourself to break minor bad habits, when you're already aware of them and you really, genuinely do want to stop them?

I'm an early-30's male. When I get stressed or bored, I pluck at my eyebrow hairs. It's painful, it's stupid, and it leaves nasty-looking "holes" in my eyebrows. I've been doing it for over a year now. I really, really want to stop this behavior.

I've broken similar habits before; for over ten years I bit my fingernails. Then, through the combination of dating someone who helped me stop and getting out of a mild mid-twenties depression, I stopped. Unfortunately, everything that I tried back then has failed me for this.

The Wikipedia page for Trichotillomania is all kinds of fun, but not much help; I don't eat the hair, I'm generally not OCD, and I'm not in a depressive state. I'm not sure I qualify for this.

I've tried talking to my therapist, logging the hairs that I pull (over 100 a week, just from the eyebrows!), and slapping myself on the wrist with a rubber band whenever I do it. Nothing so far has helped. I do notice that probably 90% of my eyebrow-plucking happens at work (desk job, staring at a computer by myself all day), rather than when doing fun things or hanging out with other people.

I hate it. I need to stop it. I'd love ideas or experiences for how others broke bad habits like this. Thanks!

posted by Dilligas to Health & Fitness (13 answers total)

Best answer: Urge Surfing.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 12:45 PM on August 2, 2013 [4 favorites]

Best answer: The Wikipedia page for Trichotillomania is all kinds of fun, but not much help; I don't eat the hair, I'm generally not OCD, and I'm not in a depressive state. I'm not sure I qualify for this.

I'm not trying to diagnose you, trust me, but based on what you told me, I would guess that you do have Trich. Trich comes in many forms, and just because you don't eat the hair, or have OCD, or get depressive, does not mean you don't have Trich.

I have Trich. I have had Trich since I have had hair. I have pictures of me pulling hair out of my head when I was about six months old. According to every professional that I have talked to about this, and from my own research, I have the earliest manifestations of Trich that anyone has ever seen or heard of.

I do not eat the hair, I don't have OCD (other than Trich), and it does not make me depressed.

I am still not cured, but I once went 4 days without playing with my hair with the help of therapy and Zoloft. My previous lifetime record was a couple hours.

I've "fallen off the wagon" so to speak, because its really hard work, but my Trich is more manageable than it has ever been.

Try medication.

Logging my pulls helps, but try and pay special attention to the thoughts you are having right before you pull. Its all about reversing the feedback loop in your head, the one that creates pleasure when you pull.

Also, mediation helped me. You can also try CBT.

I've tried nearly everything. Wearing gloves. Putting super glue on my fingers. Sitting on my hands. Burning my fingertips. Buzzing my head.

Everything.

I wear a beard, despite the patches I have made, because fuck this curse.

Good luck, and memail me if you have any questions.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 1:08 PM on August 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

Medication might not be a bad idea at all. But if you'd rather not, then...

Redirect! I am like you; reformed nail biter, and just a "picker" and fidgeter in general. What helps me most is to replace the habit with something non-damaging that scratches that itch. Spin your pen, fold a piece of paper over and over or rip it into small pieces, squeeze a small piece of Blue Tack or clay, etc. You'll have to think about what is most tactilely/emotionally satisfying about the habit for you, and find something similar. This is a very individual thing.

My bad habits come from a place of boredom and the need to not be sedentary even though I'm stuck at a computer. Maybe yours are the same.
posted by Knicke at 1:28 PM on August 2, 2013

This is not really a medical suggestion, but have you tried trimming your eyebrow hairs a little shorter?

I find that I pull the extra long (usually gray) hairs out of my brows habitually. But if I trim them a bit, I can't really pull them out as easily, nor is the feeling of yanking them out as satisfying.

This doesn't really help the underlying habit/urge/whatever, but maybe you won't end up with the unsightly holes.
posted by jclarkin at 1:31 PM on August 2, 2013

I used to pluck hairs from my mustache. I solved that problem by shaving it off. Yes, if you shaved off your eyebrows you would look like Bob Geldolf in The Wall, but at least you wouldn't be plucking hairs from your eyebrows.
posted by Rob Rockets at 1:46 PM on August 2, 2013

I helped my son break this habit (hair on his head, not eyebrows, but same thing): seriously you do need to redirect, as Knicke said. You have to find something you can substitute to use subconsciously that is just as soothing. For my son, it was settling in with a blanket with fringe on it so he could twirl and pick away at that instead of his hair.
posted by Eicats at 1:47 PM on August 2, 2013

Best answer: Something in your answer makes me feel like logging the hairs you pull may be exactly the wrong direction to take this if you're trying to stop.

I was reading a review of the evidence on n-acetylcysteine earlier in the week that suggested it's had some efficacy in treating trichotillomania. If you're interested in trying something over the counter with a short half-life, that might be worth looking into.

Trich dosing ranged from 1200mg-2400mg per day over 3 studies (well, 3 case reports and one study of 50 people), with 1800mg most common.
posted by deludingmyself at 1:48 PM on August 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

Not that I'm saying you should try to solve it pharmacologically and not behaviorally, mind. Just that you could.
posted by deludingmyself at 1:49 PM on August 2, 2013

I have this problem. So far I have managed to redirect it from pulling out eyelashes and eyebrow hairs... to pulling out leg hairs. Not ideal, I know, but at least it's not on my face where everyone can see. And because my legs are a little less accessible than my face (because, you know, pants), this actually seems to have reduced the amount of pulling I do overall.

I've also found that pulling out the bristles of a toothbrush with tweezers replicates the tactile feel of pulling and gives me some of the same cathartic satisfaction. But unless I can find somewhere selling REALLY cheap toothbrushes in bulk, this isn't exactly a sustainable solution.
posted by circumspice at 2:16 PM on August 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

I find that the best way to manipulate my habits is to manipulate the things that TRIGGER the habits. The plucking mostly happens when you're at work, sitting at your desk and feeling fidgety. Try getting up from your desk instead and moving a bit. If you need an excuse for this in your work environment, start drinking a lot of water; you'll regularly want to (a) refill the cup and (b) take a bathroom break.

If you can get away with it, maybe even consider a standing desk. That makes it a LOT easier to move your body around when you have to move something.
posted by egypturnash at 4:15 PM on August 2, 2013

Here is something that has helped me when it's hard to resist. I try to avoid touching my face at all. I start a stopwatch on my iPhone, and if at some point I really have an unbearable itch, I go ahead and scratch it, reset the stopwatch to 0:00, and start over. There's nothing more complicated than that, no penalties or rewards other than seeing the number get higher and being sad if I have to start over. I definitely have noticed my willpower getting stronger when I use this method faithfully.
posted by dfan at 6:06 PM on August 2, 2013

Best answer: Yep, find something to fidget with that works for you. At home I have a slightly noisy Noah fidget and at work I wear a tiny curly cord hair tie thing on my thumb, and twirling it seems to keep me focused on my work, and not on scratching or picking or other habitual/anxious behaviours.
posted by escapepod at 7:09 PM on August 2, 2013

You could try eating gluten free or test for celiac.
http://paleohacks.com/questions/154048/any-trichotillomania-sufferers#axzz2auPLvowU
posted by egk at 5:35 AM on August 3, 2013