Talk to me!
July 30, 2013 7:42 AM Subscribe
I have a job that currently bores me greatly, with lots of down time during the day. A coworker and I started texting during our workday recently, and I find it entertains me and passes the time, in addition to pushing a few of my other buttons. Unfortunately this relationship has gone a bit sour so I'm looking for a similar situation and I'm wondering if there's an easy solution. Special snowflake details inside.
So I'm dealing with two ugly situations - boredom and loneliness. Some things in my personal life and work life are stressing me out, and I'm finding I'm happier when I have someone to talk to, even if its just mundane. I have a partner but am finding myself a bit distant from this person and looking just for some friendship/company to get me through my day.
While I enjoyed texting my coworker, she's had some changes in her life that have caused this to not be ideal. I have some other friends but find myself not wanting to burden them with random conversation or personal details, but for some reason I have no trouble sharing with someone outside of my social circle.
So... What I'm looking for is something I can use, via my (Android) phone, to find random strangers to talk to. I've looked into Omeggle but it seems a bit skeevy. I've tried games like Words with Friends, etc, but these services usually don't facilitate chatting (at least not well).
The conversation doesn't have to be about anything in particular, but since I'm at a desk all day, there should be a reasonable amount of decorum involved. I really just find that having a person to listen to and share with gets me through my day. I'm sure things would get personal, as I've mentioned above, but I'm not looking for phone sex or even a deeply emotional connection, just someone to shoot the shit with, more or less.
I have to be able to use my phone for this as using my work network is not allowed. Ideally something with push notifications, but if my real life phone number got involved (for SMS) it wouldn't be terrible. I can use a Google Voice number for this anyway. Video and Audio are not really what I'm looking for either.
My throwaway email is mefiguy123 at gmail.
So I'm dealing with two ugly situations - boredom and loneliness. Some things in my personal life and work life are stressing me out, and I'm finding I'm happier when I have someone to talk to, even if its just mundane. I have a partner but am finding myself a bit distant from this person and looking just for some friendship/company to get me through my day.
While I enjoyed texting my coworker, she's had some changes in her life that have caused this to not be ideal. I have some other friends but find myself not wanting to burden them with random conversation or personal details, but for some reason I have no trouble sharing with someone outside of my social circle.
So... What I'm looking for is something I can use, via my (Android) phone, to find random strangers to talk to. I've looked into Omeggle but it seems a bit skeevy. I've tried games like Words with Friends, etc, but these services usually don't facilitate chatting (at least not well).
The conversation doesn't have to be about anything in particular, but since I'm at a desk all day, there should be a reasonable amount of decorum involved. I really just find that having a person to listen to and share with gets me through my day. I'm sure things would get personal, as I've mentioned above, but I'm not looking for phone sex or even a deeply emotional connection, just someone to shoot the shit with, more or less.
I have to be able to use my phone for this as using my work network is not allowed. Ideally something with push notifications, but if my real life phone number got involved (for SMS) it wouldn't be terrible. I can use a Google Voice number for this anyway. Video and Audio are not really what I'm looking for either.
My throwaway email is mefiguy123 at gmail.
Are you on Twitter? If so, maybe visit the most recent MeFite Twitter thread in MeTa and dig up some MeFite Twitter denizens. Some of us (ahem) are a chatty bunch and chitchat with each other during the day regularly. Or if you're looking for truly random people to chat with, you still might find Twitter useful if you look for people using hashtags or keywords for a subject you'd like to chitchat about.
Might not be what you're looking for with the character limit, but I'll throw it out there as a possibility to consider.
posted by Stacey at 8:02 AM on July 30, 2013
Might not be what you're looking for with the character limit, but I'll throw it out there as a possibility to consider.
posted by Stacey at 8:02 AM on July 30, 2013
Here's the thing, you are down on your hands and knees begging to get embroiled in an affair.
If you are turning away from your partner and wanting to discuss things that are important to you, then you will be sharing intimate parts of your life with someone. This is how affairs start.
First, fix the issues with your partner and share personal stuff with him/her. Shoot the shit with random people in chat rooms or message boards designed specifically for random shit shooting about those specific topics.
You do realize that stuff that starts out innocent in chat rooms, but gets personal, turns into affairs (emotional or actual) quickly enough, so much so that it's a trope, right?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:05 AM on July 30, 2013 [20 favorites]
If you are turning away from your partner and wanting to discuss things that are important to you, then you will be sharing intimate parts of your life with someone. This is how affairs start.
First, fix the issues with your partner and share personal stuff with him/her. Shoot the shit with random people in chat rooms or message boards designed specifically for random shit shooting about those specific topics.
You do realize that stuff that starts out innocent in chat rooms, but gets personal, turns into affairs (emotional or actual) quickly enough, so much so that it's a trope, right?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:05 AM on July 30, 2013 [20 favorites]
If you want to keep yourself occupied during the slow times by getting into personal details with people you're not very familiar with, AskMeFi is really good for that. I love it when some juicy, difficult relationship questions show up here because I get to think about them and offer some advice, but it's not as high-stakes as talking with someone I personally know.
posted by xingcat at 8:08 AM on July 30, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by xingcat at 8:08 AM on July 30, 2013 [7 favorites]
Find a more fast paced job?
posted by oceanjesse at 8:19 AM on July 30, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 8:19 AM on July 30, 2013 [3 favorites]
Instagram and vine are also endlessly engaging in terms of finding both individuals and communities of people to shoot the shit with about nothing.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:45 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:45 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
I think Ruthless Bunny is speaking the truth. I don't think this is about your job or the bordom from your job. I think it is mostly about your relationship and your dissatisfaction and 'distance' between you and your partner. I suggest you look there first. It sounds like you're seeking the intimacy and closeness (not necessarily physical) that you had/wanted in your partner but aren't currently getting. Filling that gap with someone who isn't your partner is a recipe for disaster if you intend to have a future with your current partner.
Look to your relationship first. Work on addressing why there is distance between you and try to get back to a healthier place, or end it so that you're free to find that closeness with someone else with out the risk of hurting your partner and getting mixed up in a situation that would be worse than the bordom you are dealing with now.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 9:13 AM on July 30, 2013
Look to your relationship first. Work on addressing why there is distance between you and try to get back to a healthier place, or end it so that you're free to find that closeness with someone else with out the risk of hurting your partner and getting mixed up in a situation that would be worse than the bordom you are dealing with now.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 9:13 AM on July 30, 2013
I read "partner" as a work partner who is present, but not the chit chatty type. Anyway, I'd probably find someone online - maybe through a hobby or interest forum. It's easier to make the step from chatting about Common Hobby from forum to texting than a random stranger and random smalltalk for texting right away.
If you have a somewhat geeky hobby/interest and a forum about it, you will very likely run into someone who is also bored at work and glad about trivial conversation. You can either stick with forum/website chat via phone, or suggest texting after a while. Either way, it would come off as less weird than hitting up a stranger and suggest to smalltalk via text message right away.
posted by MinusCelsius at 9:45 AM on July 30, 2013
If you have a somewhat geeky hobby/interest and a forum about it, you will very likely run into someone who is also bored at work and glad about trivial conversation. You can either stick with forum/website chat via phone, or suggest texting after a while. Either way, it would come off as less weird than hitting up a stranger and suggest to smalltalk via text message right away.
posted by MinusCelsius at 9:45 AM on July 30, 2013
I have some other friends but find myself not wanting to burden them with random conversation or personal details
I am failing to understand what friends are FOR, if not random conversation and personal discussions. You seem to be reversing a lot of social roles here in a strange way:
-You want your coworker to be your friend, not your coworker.
-You want your friends to be more like colleagues
-You feel distant from your partner and so wish to speak to him/her LESS.
I think your problem might be loneliness and boredom, but the solution you're seeking (semi-strangers for deep intimate but nonsexual discussions?) is not likely to resolve the former, and IS likely to resolve the latter by creating a bunch of unpleasant, destructive drama.
posted by like_a_friend at 3:08 PM on July 30, 2013
I am failing to understand what friends are FOR, if not random conversation and personal discussions. You seem to be reversing a lot of social roles here in a strange way:
-You want your coworker to be your friend, not your coworker.
-You want your friends to be more like colleagues
-You feel distant from your partner and so wish to speak to him/her LESS.
I think your problem might be loneliness and boredom, but the solution you're seeking (semi-strangers for deep intimate but nonsexual discussions?) is not likely to resolve the former, and IS likely to resolve the latter by creating a bunch of unpleasant, destructive drama.
posted by like_a_friend at 3:08 PM on July 30, 2013
The strictly platonic section of craigslist always has ads with people looking for this type of thing.
posted by sevenofspades at 7:46 PM on July 30, 2013
posted by sevenofspades at 7:46 PM on July 30, 2013
Mod note: A couple of comments deleted. At this point the advice about not seeking someone for online chat has been pretty clearly stated. OP asked for apps or services, let's stick to those from here on out. If you feel like he shouldn't do this, feel free to skip the question.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:15 PM on July 30, 2013
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:15 PM on July 30, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by shothotbot at 7:47 AM on July 30, 2013 [3 favorites]