Smug cat needs a name

July 3, 2013 4:35 AM

What's a good name for a cat with a very smug, supercilious, condescending, long-suffering-why-am-I-surrounded-by-fools expression? Think Jeeves, Stephen Fry, Sir Humphrey in Yes Minister, Quentin Crisp...
posted by Year of meteors to Pets & Animals (106 answers total)

Gwyneth Paltrow.
posted by headnsouth at 4:36 AM on July 3, 2013 [25 favorites]

Giles
Smaug
posted by angrycat at 4:43 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Snoot
posted by unSane at 4:44 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

You could just call him "Smug."

But I have friends who use adjectives to name all of their (many) cats.
posted by jon1270 at 4:44 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Niles
posted by shortyJBot at 4:45 AM on July 3, 2013 [8 favorites]

Stewie (like from Family Guy)

[Or why not just "Smug" or a variant, e.g., "Smuggy", "Smuggles", "Smugo", "Mister/Miss Smug", "Captain smug", "Prince(ess) of Smugness", or "His/Her Royal Smugness", etc?]
posted by Halo in reverse at 4:51 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Sherlock
posted by Jacqueline at 4:56 AM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

You could just call him "Cat" because, well, cats.
posted by The Michael The at 5:14 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

You have answered your own question with: Quentin.
posted by safetyfork at 5:16 AM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]

Nobody does smug better than Roger Moore. Name your cat Simon Templar.
posted by MuffinMan at 5:17 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Professor Higgins
posted by Namlit at 5:17 AM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]

Tarquin.
posted by letourneau at 5:19 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

I keep saying, cats like titles. So Professor Quentin, The Right Honorable Quentin P. Kittypants, etc are better than just "Quentin." And much more smug.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:24 AM on July 3, 2013 [15 favorites]

Fry as in Stephen.
posted by BenPens at 5:24 AM on July 3, 2013

Quentin or Humphrey or Sir Humphrey. And where's the photo? PS I thought all cats had that expression. Then I got Mr Wobegone ...
posted by LyzzyBee at 5:25 AM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Nibs (as in His Nibs)
Lt. Smugman
Edmund (Blackadder)
Frasier
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:25 AM on July 3, 2013

Clooney.
posted by Broseph at 5:26 AM on July 3, 2013

Robert the Cat (aka. Bobcat)
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:31 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

No names to suggest, but TVTropes provides a good list of examples to work from.
posted by ElDiabloConQueso at 5:34 AM on July 3, 2013

Rupert.
posted by billiebee at 5:35 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Beef Wellington!
posted by ignignokt at 5:43 AM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Professor Snugglesworth
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:43 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dr. Katz, Professional Kitty Cat
posted by The Deej at 5:43 AM on July 3, 2013

Morris
posted by lampshade at 5:44 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

I don't understand why the kitty can't be Jeeves.

But Fry is good, plus it's a Futurama call back.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:46 AM on July 3, 2013

Also, where are pictures of said smug cat?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:46 AM on July 3, 2013 [7 favorites]

Cheney.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 5:52 AM on July 3, 2013 [5 favorites]

House.
posted by like_neon at 5:52 AM on July 3, 2013

Clawed.
posted by AJaffe at 5:57 AM on July 3, 2013

I would go with ambient2.
posted by ambient2 at 6:08 AM on July 3, 2013

Dorothy Parker, of "What fresh hell is this?" fame.
posted by Think_Long at 6:09 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Do you like Downton Abbey? I'd call him Thomas.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:09 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Addison Dewitt
posted by brujita at 6:10 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Chairman Meow.
posted by jtfowl0 at 6:11 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Benedict Cumbercat
posted by pretentious illiterate at 6:11 AM on July 3, 2013 [18 favorites]

Bertie
posted by gaspode at 6:14 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

I like Humphrey.
posted by Redfield at 6:15 AM on July 3, 2013

Winston
posted by gaspode at 6:16 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

His Lordship, the Righteous Aloyswishush fluffington Mapleberry
swish for short
posted by b33j at 6:17 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Another vote for "Jeeves". I can't think of a better name for a smug cat.

If not, perhaps "Geoffrey" after the similarly smug butler from Bel Air...
posted by ominous_paws at 6:17 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
posted by jbickers at 6:31 AM on July 3, 2013

Fotherby
posted by Segundus at 6:35 AM on July 3, 2013

Mr. Pimms
posted by gwint at 6:35 AM on July 3, 2013

Charles Emerson Winchester III
posted by milk white peacock at 6:40 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Barfy.

Play the opposite, am I right?
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 6:49 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Basil, as in Basil Fawlty!
posted by txmon at 6:50 AM on July 3, 2013 [5 favorites]

Sir.

And then you can say to him:

"Would Sir care for some freshly-caught New England Seafood kibble?"
"Would Sir like to join me in a raucous outing to the veterinarian?"
"Would Sir care to remove his bottom from my facial region?"
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:57 AM on July 3, 2013 [30 favorites]

Yves if you want the smugness of Jeeves, but with a French twist.

Sir Percy Blakeney (of the Scarlet Pimpernel)

Beau Brummell
posted by donut_princess at 6:59 AM on July 3, 2013

JARVIS, as in Tony Stark's long-suffering AI butler from the movies.
posted by Zelos at 7:00 AM on July 3, 2013

Morrissey
posted by 4ster at 7:07 AM on July 3, 2013

The Minister's Cat
posted by marginaliana at 7:12 AM on July 3, 2013

Mr. Fluff-fluff McBootykins

That should wipe the smile off of his face
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 7:13 AM on July 3, 2013 [8 favorites]

Scar, from the Lion King, seems perfect.
posted by jozxyqk at 7:18 AM on July 3, 2013

Mortimer
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:20 AM on July 3, 2013

Louis Cat-orze
posted by drlith at 7:23 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Darcy or Heathcliff, after the Austen and Bronte characters respectively. The latter is also a famous cat.

Gielgud, after John Gielgud ("It takes more than a pinch of salt to bring down the British Empire.")

Hitch, after the late Christopher Hitchens.
posted by seemoreglass at 7:24 AM on July 3, 2013

Mycroft
posted by MsMolly at 7:42 AM on July 3, 2013 [10 favorites]

Mycroft

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
posted by ominous_paws at 7:44 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Shere Khan
posted by Namlit at 7:48 AM on July 3, 2013

Vladimir [and everybody can fill in, according to whim, which one]
posted by Namlit at 7:50 AM on July 3, 2013

Maradona
posted by Namlit at 7:50 AM on July 3, 2013

Dubya
posted by dbiedny at 7:52 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Engelbert.
posted by bearwife at 8:04 AM on July 3, 2013

When my mum got a cat like that*, we named him Lord Byron, but of course mostly he gets called The Lord. This allows us to say, "Your scratchies are displeasing to the Lord," and then cackle wildly.

*He looks exactly like an offended Hugh Grant in any Austen flick! EXACTLY!
posted by WidgetAlley at 8:04 AM on July 3, 2013 [6 favorites]

Lord Tubbington if he's a smug fat cat.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:04 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Darcy

Arse-y Darcy as my mother used to call him.
posted by unSane at 8:04 AM on July 3, 2013

How is it no one has demanded kitty pics yet? Cannot name without kitty pics.
posted by danapiper at 8:16 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hodge, because he is a very fine cat, a very fine cat indeed.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:22 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Darcy or Heathcliff, after the Austen and Bronte characters respectively. The latter is also a famous cat.

On the wikipedia page for Heathcliff it mentions that the Brazilian version of the comic strip named him "Lorde Gato"

...I would bow to a Lord Gato, I'm just saying.
posted by Calicatt at 8:31 AM on July 3, 2013

Snape
posted by eleanna at 8:40 AM on July 3, 2013

Darcy

that's mr. darcy to you.
posted by wildflower at 8:54 AM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Pumblechook
posted by BAKERSFIELD! at 9:20 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'm actually with the person who suggested naming him "Smug," although I'd probably go further and name him "Smugly." Those -ly/-ley names just seem to go with a certain expression, in my experience. . .
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:32 AM on July 3, 2013

Mr Podsnap
posted by BAKERSFIELD! at 9:36 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jeremy Irons
posted by BAKERSFIELD! at 9:39 AM on July 3, 2013

Well, first thing's first, it is going to be a real struggle to offer any advice without any photos of said cat. However, I will do my best...

Colonel McSmugsypants
The Honorable Chadsworth Meowington
Edward Fairfax Rochester
Jay Catsby (that was terrible)
Mr. Manager
posted by inertia at 10:10 AM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Montmorency Featherbottom III
posted by werkzeuger at 10:23 AM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Another vote for Mr. Darcy.
posted by duvatney at 10:51 AM on July 3, 2013

Why not your suggestion of "Sir Humphrey" as a name?

Lack of picture is making it hard to think of names. . . . . just sayin'
posted by wwax at 10:52 AM on July 3, 2013

Sir Pendleton.
posted by chara at 11:11 AM on July 3, 2013

Napoleon
posted by hazyjane at 11:37 AM on July 3, 2013

Mathmeouwie
posted by Namlit at 12:21 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Meow Meow Von Bismark
posted by waitangi at 12:41 PM on July 3, 2013

Saruman the [insert correct color]

[Will you call the cat from your front door? Our own call for "Poesje" only ever echoed back from the forest trees. A sonorous "Sarumaaaan the Striped" in a densely populated neighborhood seems so much more awesome to me.]
posted by Namlit at 12:54 PM on July 3, 2013

Aloysius Pendergast
posted by a humble nudibranch at 12:56 PM on July 3, 2013

Viscount Twiddles.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:14 PM on July 3, 2013

++Benedict Timeowthy Kitton Cumbercat
posted by nicebookrack at 1:34 PM on July 3, 2013

Basil Fawlty.
posted by Gungho at 1:39 PM on July 3, 2013

I approve of Smaug!

Also:
Mycroft
Joffrey
Umbridge
St. James (pronounced "Sinjin")
JARVIS (allcaps!)
posted by nicebookrack at 1:41 PM on July 3, 2013

Ignatius J. Reilly but you call him Iggy
posted by jabes at 2:03 PM on July 3, 2013

Mycroft Holmes and Mr. Darcy are both perfect! Too bad you don't have two smug kitties to name.
posted by deborah at 3:37 PM on July 3, 2013

If it's a female cat, Smugly Betty.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:49 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Goober. Because it will embarrass him every time you call him that.
posted by Cocodrillo at 4:05 PM on July 3, 2013

God. He takes it seriously, you mean it ironically. And the neighbours wonder.
posted by unSane at 4:42 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

You could go with Reginald- sufficiently stuck up, and it's also the character Jeeves' first name.
posted by insufficient data at 5:17 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

We adopted a feral cat who acts like that. Really, he's a sweetie. We had his, um attitude, adjusted at the vet, and he lives under our porch. We gave him his own dish there. He loves to be brushed, but he's still feral, and can be dangerous if you aren't aware of how to act when you are within reach of his paws. He hides around strangers, but follows RedBud and me around like a little puppy. He tolerates our other cats.

We call him Bubba.
posted by mule98J at 8:52 PM on July 3, 2013

Alpha.
posted by Rainflower at 9:17 PM on July 3, 2013

A lot of good suggestions here (I'm looking at you, Humphrey.) But can I suggest Smug Cat? I really enjoy my neighbor's cats, Black Cat and Siamese Cat (they may have other names on their collars.)

Darcy

that's mr. darcy to you.

My next cat will be named That Horrid Mr. Darcy.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:47 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

I had friends who picked place names from English villages and towns, and combined them and gave the cats titles -- I like "sir" upthread, too.
posted by emcat8 at 10:46 PM on July 3, 2013

Blackadder
Rowan (For Rowan Atkinson, of course)

More obviously, why not go with Jeeves, Stephen Fry, or Sir Humphrey?

Benedict would also work (Snooty, British, and he plays Sherlock in the series of the same name).

As you can see, I'm a fan of giving cats human names, not terrible jokes.
posted by Canageek at 11:05 PM on July 3, 2013

Jeeves' 1st name is Reginald.

Where are pictures? Is Obligatory, no?
posted by theora55 at 7:58 AM on July 4, 2013

Shithead would be an alternative. His pained expression every time you called him would be worth it.
posted by unSane at 8:13 PM on July 4, 2013

Pooh-Bah.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:58 PM on July 4, 2013

More on Pooh-Bah
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:06 PM on July 4, 2013

Tarquinius
posted by JenThePro at 8:30 AM on July 5, 2013

Nebucatnezar
posted by Namlit at 9:57 AM on July 5, 2013 [1 favorite]