When to warn others about a toxic coworker?
March 22, 2013 7:33 PM Subscribe
Our new coworker has been hanging out a lot with another coworker who is known as a liar, drama generator and just generally selfish and hurtful person. Because he is initially quite charming, she has no idea of his "other side." Do I tell her what everyone else knows or is that just talking trash and I should let her draw her own conclusions?
posted by abirdinthehand to human relations (28 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
It is particularly trying for me because this is common knowledge in the office, but she doesn't know that side of him yet. This is only her second week here and she told me she already feels like he's her "best friend." So it's strange to hang with her when she is just totally unaware of something everyone else knows.
He is known in our office as being charming, but ultimately dishonest and hurtful towards others. I have witnessed these events personally, it is not hearsay. I don't want to give details. . . suffice it to say that he has lost three close friends and a number of not-so-close friends due to his deceptions and screwed up behavior-- this is not run of the mill assholishness, more like some kind of deep psychological problem.
We used to all be friends at work but it's been just in the last few months that his true colors have shown and he has lost friends left and right. However, we all act professionally at work and from an outsider perspective it's not apparent that anyone really has issues with him.
I feel guilty about saying nothing, but also would feel crappy about just telling her a bunch of horrible stuff about our coworker. I think she can already tell that I don't particularly like him- is that enough?
Should I just watch her slowly figure it out? Should I say something vague, give a hint? Should I avoid hanging out with her if I feel I cannot keep quiet?