Drama with a potential roommate - time to cut and run?
August 16, 2013 1:53 AM Subscribe
I've been planning to move to another city, and become roommates with a friend, but things got a bit weird this week and I don't know whether to fight the urge to run away fast or instead listen to it and head for higher ground.
posted by six sided sock to human relations (39 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
1. I expressed to my friend an interest in moving to her city.
2. Friend mentions she's looking to move in with a roommate so as to help cover rent and bills, suggests I might be that roommate.
3. After some thought, I say "sure, that sounds cool," and start planning to move down. The plan is that I'll move into her box room for now and we'll hunt for a decent apartment together.
4. Mid-July, I get cold feet for various reasons, call my friend and tell her I don't think I can do it. She talks me round.
5. Last weekend: I'm supposed to be moving down to $city, driving some 300 miles with the first lot of my stuff. Instead, I catch norovirus and spend Sunday vomiting violently. I have enough energy to SMS my friend to day I'm not coming.
6. Whilst trying to sleep off the puking, my phone switched off, my friend sends me a series of increasingly frantic texts, emails and phone calls, culminating in "I've taken the day off work, I'm coming to you, I don't know what else to do." On Monday morning, which I see when I switch on my phone. At this point I'm still very sick, and don't want her or anyone else to come to me. I just want to get better. I phone her and ask her to not come; she angrily insists she will come whether I want it or not, and then finally agrees to turn around.
7. For the rest of the week I've been keeping in touch with my friend by email whilst I convalesce. I don't really want to phone her as I'm putting off having a conversation about what the hell happened earlier this week. It's raised red flags with me and I'm not sure I want to be roommates with this person.
8. My friend sends me emails late Thursday asking me to let her know when I'm coming down, and asking me politely but firmly to call her and talk plans over.
Honestly, right now I feel like moving down, at least if living with this person, would be an enormous mistake. I don't want the kind of drama in my life hat happened this week because I was sick.
On the other hand I feel like I may be shafting my friend horribly. Her current landlords, who are friends of hers, have had her apartment revalued since she told them she was going to look elsewhere, and she now can't afford the rent on that apartment on her own.
Is there a good way to navigate through this or should I just do what feels right for me - not move yet - and get sanguine about the fact that I'm probably going to lose a friend here?