how do you balance a relationship with the rest of your life?
February 20, 2013 6:27 PM Subscribe
In my first relationship where I'm spending significant amounts of time with a boyfriend and need some guidance on how I can balance 'him' time and 'me' time.
posted by sockypuppeteer to human relations (15 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 25 and I'm in the first relationship in my life where I'm really spending a significant amount of time with the guy. We're about four months in and generally spend most of our weekends together and a couple weeknights as well. I'm super happy and really enjoy spending all of this time with him, but it's meant that I don't have a lot of time for the other things in my life. I need some ideas on how to create a workable and sustainable balance between him and everything else.
We have a pretty overlapping friend group so I don't feel like I'm ditching my friends to hang out with him since often when we're together they're also around. I don't live near my family but I have a short list of family members that I call each weekend and I've continued to do that. I also feel like I'm on top of the things I need to be doing like bills and such. However, a lot of other things in my life have fallen by the wayside-- reading, studying spanish, running, other hobbies that we don't share (we do a lot of cooking together and hiking and rock climbing, but the hobbies we don't share I don't do much of anymore). I also like to get up a few hours before I need to leave before work and stretch and drink coffee and do housework and that's not something I feel like I can do when he is sleeping over (which he does often). I work about 50 hours a week so a good chunk of my time goes to that.
so obviously I could just stop spending quite as much time with him and I know that he would understand and respect that decision but I really enjoy being with him and having him sleep over and hanging out with him all weekend. I'm just a fairly independent person in general and so it's a sharp decrease in ME time and I'm looking for ways of figuring out that balance. I realize it's sort of a 'have my cake and eat it too' attitude and there are only so many hours in the day, but I'm sure that many people have faced this dilemma and I'm looking for ideas on how to approach it.
I guess I also have this worry in the back of my mind that this is way too much time to spend with one person and we will be sick of each other soon (we also work together...our jobs aren't really conducive to socializing too much during the day but we're always passing each other as we work and talking on breaks.) What I'm trying to say is we spend a LOT of time together and I'm worried that it's not sustainable.