A wedding with no officiant and no wedding party. Am I insane?
January 28, 2013 8:11 AM Subscribe
I'm getting married this summer, in a small, casual, non-religious wedding. We're not planning to have a wedding party, and haven't been able to come up with any good ideas for an officiant, so we're probably going to try to do without one of those as well. Have you done something similar? How will the logistics work out here?
posted by duien to human relations (42 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
We're inviting about 50 people, but a lot of them probably won't be able to attend, so we're talking a very small number of people. We're not worried about the legal aspects -- we're fine with having the actual marriage performed at a courthouse, and just having a meaningful but non-legally-binding ceremony at the wedding itself.
The things I'm concerned about are largely logistical. How will we signal to the guests that it's time to stop milling around and pay attention? Who's going to hold the rings until the part of the ceremony when we need them? Who's going to hold the pieces of paper with our vows for in case we forget what we're saying?
The big one, though, is will it actually feel like a wedding ceremony with just the two of us up in front of everyone?
My fiance and I are each planning to be walked in by one of our parents, but I'm not sure I want them to stand with us for the vows. My fiance will be wearing a suit, and my dress has pockets, so I guess rings and vows could just be in our pockets.
If you did something like this for your wedding, or have attended a wedding with a similar format, how did it work in practice? Were any of my worries actually issues?
I'd love to hear either concrete suggestions about how to handle things, or just anecdotes about similar weddings and how it felt.