How do I deal with this money related situation with an ex-roommate?
October 23, 2012 10:23 PM Subscribe
How to deal a money issue with roommate who has just moved out- never contributed to household cleaning/supplies and did not clean after moving out their things.
posted by penpenne to human relations (19 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Roommate who just moved out has utilities in their name- they are expecting to be paid around $50 this coming Friday.
I'm very reluctant to pay them because there has been such an imbalance in the household chores and buying of supplies. They have also used detergent that did not belong to them and was plainly labeled, thrown out food that was not theirs/expired, and left their pet's urine in the house for weeks before cleaning it up. I've cleaned up after their pet several times a month (it even pooped in the house- potty trained but severe separation anxiety) and done the bulk of the household chores.
I've addressed all of these issues with them and have never been able to come to a resolution with them. Usually they would say that they'll clean and help out- so I'd put off cleaning (sweeping the floor/taking out the trash/spraying down BR) until the house would reek and be unbearable to live in. I'm not OCD- the other roommate feels the same and knows for a fact that there has been no change/attempt to help out.
Most times they would give excuses saying that they're too busy/tired/no time to do anything. I told them plainly that it was a matter of prioritizing and asked that they help out with a few items around the house before they moved out. In the least sweep up the dirt/debris that would be tracked into the house when people would come to help move furniture/boxes.
I came home last Friday and saw that they had family/friends help with the move, they finished by mid afternoon and left without sweeping any of the floors. Our landlord allowed them till Monday to complete the move so the new roommate would be able to begin moving in/painting. So I thought I would also wait till Monday to see if they'd return to grab a box and sweep up the dirt.
I should mention that I had asked them to clean prior to that Friday, written a note after the move (And I know for a fact that they received it) and texted them with specific concerns after the note went ignored. Their fern had shed all over the floor and when they moved out their table there was a dried pee puddle that their dog had left. No clue how long it's been there.
I texted them on Sunday to confirm whether they would be back to the house for a final haul (and clean up after that) but they told me that they had gotten all of their belongings out of the house. So I asked if they would be returning to clean up and got no response.
I sent another text alerting them that I would be charging them a cleaning fee- whatever my portion of the utilities would be. With a new roommate moving in and simply having to live in the house I couldn't wait around with leaves, dirt and pee littering the house. I waited till the end of the day and cleaned the house after 4 days of waiting.
Now they're upset because we had never come to an agreement. I know that it's not a nice thing to do. But I've been trying to have house meetings and have had several conversations where i request that they help out with a chore/buying TP/anything! My share of the utilities if $55.
I know it won't break their bank, and feel like it would cover the costs of the supplies they used around the house.
Am I just too resentful to see the situation clearly? I've always been a pushover and have had a difficult time with confrontation so the level of communication and persistent talks I've pushed on the topic has surprised me.
Help me figure out what to do! I'm not friends with this person and am perfectly happy to never have to speak to/see them again. I'm just glad they're finally out of the house. Sorry it's so long and jumbled!
We have individual leases with the landlord for our rooms and each have a utility in our own name- they happen to have the electric/water (which was shut off and is still not on because they did not communicate with us about transferring the service). The landlord was very clear that the utilities/other household day to day things would be between the roommates.