Should I stay or should I go?
November 12, 2012 7:48 PM Subscribe
My roommate situation is becoming untenable. Should I ride out the storm or leave? What is the best way to bail? Snowflakes inside.
posted by munyeca to human relations (12 answers total)
My roommate and I have been living together for over a year.
Things have been tense for most of our time together. She's very unpredictable; I never know what mood she's going to be in when I come home. Sometimes she's friendly and we have lovely, mutually supportive conversations; sometimes she ignores me for days. She's been generally resentful of my romantic partners and seriously dislikes my current boyfriend (with whom I am very serious); she originally told me that she didn't want him over at all, and eventually relented, but he still feels uncomfortable in our living space.
She plans on moving to another state in May, but also plans on being gone for somewhere between 6 weeks-1 month in the winter, and has made it clear that she does not want to split the utilities 50/50, nor does she want to sublet her room. She's also requested that I put the oil heating bill in my name. This bill is very, very expensive in the winter.
Relevant details: we aren't actually even on a lease right now, because our landlord never asked us to resign, so I technically won't be breaking the lease if I decide to leave. (Right? I'm not clear on this--will I get my security deposit back??) We share many mutual acquaintances and attend the same graduate program.
I'm thinking of throwing caution to the wind and moving into my own place in January. Does this sound like a reasonable course of action? If so, when do I tell her and/or my landlord that I'm planning on leaving? Am I obligated to find a subletter even though I'm not on the lease, or can I wash my hands of the whole situation?
If I decide to stay, what are reasonable expectations involving shared utilities?