Why would you want someone to say that to you?
October 10, 2012 2:43 PM Subscribe
Why are humiliation and/or degradation sexually exciting for some?
posted by thrasher to Human Relations (18 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I'm referring to anything that would make a submissive feel shame or feel bad or cry (for any reason other than physical pain, though that's one I don't understand either, but that's for another AskMe).
Specifically, I don't understand the appeal of verbal humiliation, name calling, body part humiliation and physical humiliation (being made to do or withstand or feel terribly upsetting things). I'm sure there are others that I'd consider traumatizing that I haven't thought of.
I am kinky, but these are very much not my kinks. I want to understand why it is such a turn on for so many, both dominant and submissive. Fetlife, to my knowledge, doesn't really explore the psychology behind humiliation and degradation - people who are into it "just are."
I know that for many individuals, their specific kink comes from a singular event (or series of events) in their past - but what about in more general terms? Is there more to it than that?
Are there any websites, articles or books that delve into it, without coming from the position that participants are somehow mentally damaged?
Insight, perspective, links, reference materials welcome.