Humiliation fetish - do I need therapy?
February 5, 2010 6:57 AM Subscribe
I like being humiliated, and go to great lengths to get it. Should I rather go into therapy?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total)
Well, this is complicated. During my last long-term (7 years) relationship I developed a veritable cuckold fetish. The sex in the relationship was rather vanilla, my fetish thusly not well received. While not the only reason, it definitely was partly responsible for the relationship to ultimately fail.
I've come to realize that not only do I like the ideas most prevalent in the cuckold lifestyle (wife having sex with other men, denying sex, humiliation based on size and all that jazz), but that it also gets me quite excited when a woman tells me she finds me unattractive. To experience this, I even set up accounts on dating sites, specifically contacting women who obviously were out of my league and displayed a certain preference for very handsome men, and in the course of chats having them be brutally honest about my looks.
Most of the time, in order to get these women to chat with me in the first place, I set up fake accounts with a very handsome guy as bait, pretending to have this friend who wasn't really popular with the ladies, asking them to tell me whether he'd have luck chatting them up, etc. Btw, I've never had the nerve to actually do this in real life; who knows, maybe that would cure me.
Now, just for some background information, in real life, I do not exactly suffer from a lack of self-esteem. I'm nearing 30, am pretty well grounded, have a solid, but not exactly fulfilling job and an unfinished thesis at home. I am currently in a new relationship, with a woman who knows I like it when she plays with other men, which she frequently does, but who isn't aware of the full extent of my desires (humiliation, etc.), and I don't exactly dare to tell her (yet). And while I quit the chat thing described above when we came together, I have recently picked it up again but stopped again due to my bad conscience.
So, even though you might not be doctors, some of you may have experience with those sorts of desires. Where could they stem from? And is what I'm doing sociopathic? I've never been molested, had a good upbringing in a large family, no history of emotional instability, always had friends, never really any problems finding girlfriends. I'm rather standard looking, a bit on the boring side maybe, but am funny and smart. Or so I heard.