I'm not trying to be cheap, but our resources are also finite...
September 11, 2012 6:56 AM Subscribe
Let's say you have a friend who you can never ditch (think: sibling) who does not contribute to events/outings? What's the best approach to deal with this?
posted by Kronur to human relations (38 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
What do I mean by don't contribute?
-If I cook dinner for my husband, me, and sibling, the sibling never offers or shows up with anything to add to the meal. We provide the food, drinks (wine, beer), etc.
-If we have a place to go (drive), sibling never offers to drive. In fact, sibling says that he doesn't want to drive to avoid the wear on his car & spending money on gas.
-If the three of us are out at dinner and forget to ask to have the check split, this sibling never reimburses.
This person doesn't have tons of money, but he does have plenty of disposable income that he uses for video games or other media (tv shows on iTunes, etc). Thankfully, he never asks to borrow cash money from us. And, sibling is older than us (read: not a kid starting out in life, but a grown-up adult).
The real problem here is that my husband thinks we should (1) ignore the issue (we have enough means to cover these imbalances), or (2) joke/tease him into paying his fair share. I feel that (1) is making me want to avoid this sibling and that (2) is passive aggressive and weird. My solution is (3) just tell him that he needs to contribute equally. My husband doesn't like (3) because he thinks it's a confrontation he prefers to avoid.
What did you do in this situation? Are we missing an exciting (4) or (5) that's better than any other solution? Should I just be the bigger person and ignore this sibling's non-contributions? Help us solve this marriage stumper!