Do I have to go shopping before this wedding?

August 31, 2012 7:48 AM

Some friends of mine got married last month in India, and they're having a large evening reception this weekend. I know that colorful is the way to go, but all of my colorful dresses are too casual. What I have left is a mostly black dress with a few grey panels, and a mostly white dress with a light blue floral print. Would either of those be ok, or should I go shopping this weekend? The bride had previously said that "a dress you would wear to an American wedding" is fine, and I don't want to pester her asking for specifics when I'm sure she has other things on her mind right now!
posted by amarynth to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (16 answers total)

The white and blue one sounds fine. How are they cut? Either way, I'd go for the lighter colored one. It's summer.
posted by phunniemee at 7:50 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

South Asian speaking (if that matters) - Yes, don't go out of your way. If you would wear either of these dresses to an American wedding, then I feel you can take the bride at her word and just wear either of them. White and blue sounds good for a summer ceremony.
posted by Ziggy500 at 7:52 AM on August 31, 2012

I wore a black dress to an Indian post-wedding reception (although it was in November, not summer). I wore bright red satin shoes to liven it up. I did not feel out of place. There was plenty of bright color going on with other guests but I don't think I stood out for not wearing bright colors!

Don't worry, if you would wear one of those dresses to an American wedding, you will be fine.
posted by mskyle at 7:57 AM on August 31, 2012

It's evening - white dresses can look a bit out of place. You could wear the black one with colorful jewelry and shoes. Nicely painted nails, cute shoes, bright earrings and a pashmina would look great!
posted by barnone at 8:01 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best answer: White is a funeral color in Hinduism. Go with the darker one.
posted by quince at 8:03 AM on August 31, 2012

Response by poster: These are the same thoughts that are chasing each other around in my head! White is worn to funerals, so wear black, but it's summer, so wear white, but it's evening, so...

I'm guessing that I'm over-thinking it, since just wearing non-traditional dress is going to make me stick out like a sore thumb, anyway!
posted by amarynth at 8:14 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best answer: How much time do you have? How easy/pleasant is it for you to shop the sale racks at department stores? I'm not being snarky, I only shop the sale racks, so I'm comfortable there and not disappointed when I don't find anything. But if this is not your experience, your mileage will vary.

If you have a few weeks and don't find the task super odious, go treat yourself to a third dress. go with emerald green or sapphire blue if you can find and it looks good on you. Otherwise, pick a color that you would wear again. Because the family sounds a bit on the traditional side and this is an evening event, I would opt for a longer dress over a shorter one (knee length rather than mid thigh). You can get this for less than $100, and possibly for $50 if you are persistent and patient.

If shopping is (for any reason) a pain in your ass or unsuccessful, go with the dress you feel most comfortable wearing and accessorizing brightly. If either dress feels schlumpy, don't wear it.
posted by bilabial at 8:24 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I'd agree with barnone - go with the black dress but add as much coloured jewellery and accessories as you're comfortable with. If you haven't got a brightly coloured pashmina or stole, you could get one a lot more cheaply than a good new dress.

I do that when opera-going on a rather small budget - I have a few old reliable evening dresses, but can make them look quite different by ringing the changes with some fancy stoles and bags.
posted by Azara at 8:30 AM on August 31, 2012

If you're intrigued by bilabial's knee-length sapphire suggestion, you might stop by Red Hue Boutique to try on their Aqua Tirage Dress. (Caveat: it's possible it would look better on someone with straight dark hair.)
posted by feral_goldfish at 8:39 AM on August 31, 2012

Go with the black and add color. You don't wear white to an American wedding either (only the bride wears white).
posted by HMSSM at 8:41 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Seconding HMSSM - I just got back this morning from a very big do in India and there was a fair sprinkling of women in non Indian attire, mostly dark or black, ranging from fitted dresses with stilletto pumps (sister in law in TV production) to harem pants jumpsuit type affair with a plunging neckline (that cousin). I was in black blouse wiht deep maroon silk long skirt and big jewellery in bright red.
posted by infini at 9:40 AM on August 31, 2012

This is a great weekend to shop, especially for end of the season dress bargains.

If you want something new, you can probably get it at Macy's for about $20. Be sure to use those discount coupons that they have in the paper (or that they send me EVERY DAY in the mail.)

I only wish I had as many events to wear the pretty evening dresses that they have on the sale rack.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:09 AM on August 31, 2012

Definitely the black one. The mostly white one worries me because of the "wear to American wedding" (I guess read as Judeo Christian but ok) and the widow connotations of white within Indian culture. Also it's evening and a party not the wedding.
posted by sweetkid at 10:50 AM on August 31, 2012

Best answer: Another vote for black - and in addition to all the color, go for lots of gold. Don't be shy about jewelry in fear of outdoing the bride - if her family is at all traditional, she'll show up looking like she stood too close to Midas. (Oh, and if you do go shopping, you know to avoid buying something that's all red, right?)
posted by synapse at 11:29 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks, all! I will wear the black dress with a turquoise wrap and pretty jewelry (unfortunately, I don't have any gold).

I do know not to wear red, but, thanks, synapse! And rest assured, HMSSM, I would never dream of wearing a white dress to an American wedding!
posted by amarynth at 3:15 PM on August 31, 2012

Best answer: Red is totally fine!! My sister her wore her red wedding sari to my wedding reception, everyone still knew I was the bride, don't overthink it!
posted by echo0720 at 8:00 PM on August 31, 2012 [2 favorites]