Is this dress too white to wear to a wedding?

April 27, 2014 9:21 AM

Is this dress too white to wear to a wedding?

Obviously I'm asking about the white-and-pink version, not the nude one. The bride is marrying my cousin, and I've never met her, so I can't ask her (plus, she's probably busy!) So I'm asking you, Metafilter. Am I committing a wedding faux-pas if I show up in this dress?

posted by Viola to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (51 answers total)

If you don't know the bride's style, it's too white.
posted by freshwater at 9:26 AM on April 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

Your aunt might know, but I'd pass on it for a wedding.
posted by jeather at 9:28 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm always of the opinion that if you're asking, it probably is.

It's a pretty dress though.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2014 [12 favorites]

I don't think so, not with the dark embroidery.
posted by amro at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's on the borderline either way. It's pretty heavily embellished so it's not just white, but it's got pretty big fields of white, too. And while the embellishments are pink, they're flowery and kinda bridal in style. If you can't ask and you don't already own it, I would find something else to wear. If you do already own it and you can't afford to buy something else, plan to wear a cardigan or a wrap with it.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2014 [16 favorites]

To my eye, this dress has enough print to be acceptable. To be on the safe side, I would not wear it. It's just as easy to pick something else. Have fun.
posted by Fairchild at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2014

It's your job as a guest to be as low-maintenance as possible -- so I would skip it, don't ask the bride-to-be or her mom (but wear it somewhere else! It's gorgeous!). If you absolutely have to wear it I'd cover it up with a pink cardigan but yeah... better to pick something else.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 9:30 AM on April 27, 2014

I wouldn't wear it, but I tend to err on the side of caution with these things.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:31 AM on April 27, 2014

The consequences of the off-chance that it turns out to be a faux-pas aren't worth it, IMO.
posted by griphus at 9:31 AM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

Inappropriate for a wedding, especially since you don't know her well enough to ask her outright.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 9:32 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

i honestly don't even see it as borderline. that is way too much white to wear to someone else's wedding.
posted by nadawi at 9:37 AM on April 27, 2014 [9 favorites]

Oh, I love it, but I wouldn't wear it to a wedding.
posted by jaguar at 9:37 AM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yes, it is.

There are more and more wedding dresses these days that have color elements, but the dominant color is still nearly always white. It might be ok depending on what she's wearing/how laid back she is about these things...but I definitely wouldn't risk pissing off multiple members of her family by wearing it (sometimes mothers/grandmothers are more rule-adherent about these things than the brides themselves).

If you already own it and don't have anything more suitable, I'd wear a colored cardigan the whole time.
posted by leitmotif at 9:38 AM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

It's going to show up in the wedding photos as the most eye-catchingly white thing besides the bride's dress. If you will not be in the wedding photos and are just a third-tier guest in the back row, meh, no big deal. If it's a family wedding- get a solid colored dress instead.
posted by quincunx at 9:39 AM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'd think you could get away with it IF paired with a brightly-colored cardigan or wrap. Something that'd cover up the top half of the dress and take the overall look from "white with pink accents" to "pink with white accents". Oh, and maybe wear colored shoes, too.
posted by Bardolph at 9:40 AM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'll be the lone dissenter - I think the shorter length, more casual cut and detailing and amount of pink make it totally acceptable and it doesn't read remotely bridal to me. I think the whole idea is to make sure the bride stands out especially in photos like quincunx said, so you don't want to 1) wear all white 2) dress fancier than her. I think this dress just passes on both counts, but if it didn't have pink I'd say no.
posted by slow graffiti at 9:42 AM on April 27, 2014 [8 favorites]

Too white (and, uh, the embroidery at the bottom of the skirt reminds me of pubes).
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:43 AM on April 27, 2014 [8 favorites]

I don't think it's too white, and if you accessorize with non-white stuff, I think it's perfect.
posted by BlahLaLa at 9:48 AM on April 27, 2014

Nice dress. It does not read bridal to me either. I think you could easily pull it off, especially if you accessorize with color - shoes definitely, bag, earrings, plus a wrap/shawl/pashmina in a color that coordinates or compliments.
posted by gudrun at 9:52 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nope. I think it's OK.
posted by chasles at 9:57 AM on April 27, 2014

The variety of answers given here seems, to me, to be a good indication that you shouldn't wear it. The thing about a faux pas like this is that you don't measure the yeas against the nays at the wedding to determine whether or not you offended anyone; the number of people who don't consider it too white will not offset however many people do consider it too white. One of those people may or may not be the bride.

Since some people in this thread consider it too white and some people don't, I'd expect a similar result at the wedding. As such, I probably would not wear it.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:00 AM on April 27, 2014 [13 favorites]

If it was your sister's wedding or your friend's wedding and you KNEW it wasn't going to be a big deal, then it'd be fine, but ESPECIALLY since you don't know the bride or her family, I'd err on the side of caution.

If you accessorize with, say, pink tights and a pink pashmina or cardigan, then you might be able to pull it off without anyone questioning you wearing white to someone else's wedding, but really, you should just avoid wearing white to weddings.

(unless, of course, her colors include pink, in which case, super inappropriate! Do you know her colors?)
posted by erst at 10:02 AM on April 27, 2014

It seems fine to me, but given the responses here, I think you should play it safe and wear something else.
posted by J. Wilson at 10:03 AM on April 27, 2014

Too much white. It'll probably look fine in person, but you will stick out in the photos.

Super cute dress though.
posted by 26.2 at 10:04 AM on April 27, 2014

I think it's fine, there's enough pink that it's a "pink and white" dress and not a "white dress". It's just summery. Enjoy the day!
posted by billiebee at 10:11 AM on April 27, 2014

One of my very close friends wore a dress like this to my wedding. Not being someone who enjoys drama over stupid crap like dresses, I never said anything and as far as she/everyone else was concerned, it was not a Thing. But rest assured it annoyed me, quietly, internally, for at least three minutes of my wedding day. Just wear another dress unless there is some compelling reason you must wear this one. She might not care, she might not show that she cares. Condider the avoidance of any possibility of annoyance a kind, self-sacrificing gift on your part, you other dress choosing martyr.
posted by bimbam at 10:24 AM on April 27, 2014 [8 favorites]

I think the thing about it is that the fabric part is all white. The only color is embellishment, and colored embellishments on wedding dresses are a thing. If part of the fabric was pink, then it would be a "pink and white dress", not "a white dress with some pink decorations on it".
posted by Sequence at 10:34 AM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

I would err on the side of caution and avoid wearing it. It's lovely though!
posted by mzwz at 10:54 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't know if it's too white, but I do suspect it's too short. Sitting in that dress is going to be thigh city.
posted by Georgina at 10:57 AM on April 27, 2014 [8 favorites]

This looks remarkably similar to my wedding dress, the one I wore as the bride, to my wedding (though mine was white with black and jet beads). Like many other people in this thread, I suggest you pick another dress (although, obviously, I think that one is beautiful).
posted by crush-onastick at 11:22 AM on April 27, 2014

If you have to ask, then yes, it's inappropriate. Find another dress to wear.
posted by barnoley at 11:23 AM on April 27, 2014

Wear it. What the heck, people, are weddings this crotchety these days? If all the bride has time for is to seethe about a guest wearing an embroidered pink and white spring dress to her wedding, she was going to find something to obsess about anyway.
posted by arnicae at 11:34 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is a very pretty dress, but it's way too much white for a wedding. If you're asking yourself this question, you probably know the answer. Also, on another note entirely, have you checked out the back photo? It's a little skimpy and you may not want to show this much skin for a family wedding.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 11:39 AM on April 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

No, it's got a lot of pink embroidery, so it's fine.

Check the length against your own height though - on the model it looks shorter than knee length. If the hem will at least graze your knees it's perfect.
posted by tel3path at 11:43 AM on April 27, 2014

Way too white.
posted by mekily at 12:31 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I had a super unconventional wedding but the ONE thing I did do was wear a white dress. I know a woman who wore a red dress and told everyone to wear black & white so she stood out, but other than that I think wearing a white dress pretty much still signifies you're the bride. I would wear something else on this particular occasion. As stated above, even if the bride doesn't even notice, some relative or friend WILL and it'll be a thing and you'll be That Girl and I'd skip it if I were you!
posted by masquesoporfavor at 12:32 PM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

> I don't know if it's too white, but I do suspect it's too short

Agreed. I have tunics that are about that long.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:35 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, don't wear that.
posted by Justinian at 12:55 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

Another no vote here. The back is almost solid white. And it'll only take one drama-loving person--not necessarily the bride--to make it into a "thing."

(I would cast The Tipsy Aunt, clutching her champagne glass, tottering about on heels in a shiny too tight dress to each group of people to say, "OMG, can you believe Viola wore white to a wedding?")
posted by sfkiddo at 1:10 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

It would be entirely appropriate to wear to my wedding, but then again, I'm wearing a purple dress and my bride is wearing gray pants and shirt and a purple tie. :) Is there anyone, even if you don't want to bother her, that you can ask about wedding colors?

In all seriousness, I think it's fine. It's too short to say 'wedding gown' to me, for one thing. I'd be more worried about the bare skin in the back (depending on where the wedding is going to be) than the color, myself.
posted by joycehealy at 1:45 PM on April 27, 2014

Wear it. That doesn't read 'wedding dress' at all to me, and I've been to weddings all over the spectrum so far this year.

That said, some people like to get upset about things, so it's up to you.
posted by punchtothehead at 3:13 PM on April 27, 2014

(Note to those saying this dress is too short: it may not actually be that short on a less leggy, less Photoshopped person than the model.)

I would say that the way to get away with this dress would be to wear a pink shawl or pink cardigan with it, as well as pink shoes. By itself I agree with those who say it is too white. I don't think you could wear it alone without the possibility of drawing a some sort of negative attention to yourself from one guest or another, even if the bride is cool with it.
posted by BlueJae at 3:52 PM on April 27, 2014

Response by poster: All right, I think that the variety of answers indicates that I should NOT be wearing this dress to wedding. It's a great dress, but alas, too controversial. Thank you to all the folks who vetoed the dress (you made me feel better about rejecting it) and to those who approved it (you made me feel less crazy!)
posted by Viola at 4:03 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Oh, another question! Could I wear it to a rehearsal dinner/post-dinner cocktail party? Or is it contraband for all wedding activities?
posted by Viola at 4:33 PM on April 27, 2014

I think it is fine for a rehearsal dinner or cocktail party after the rehearsal dinner, but not for the day of the wedding.
posted by jeather at 4:42 PM on April 27, 2014

I would not wear this dress to any wedding activities. At the rehearsal dinner and post-dinner cocktail party, the bride herself is even more likely to be wearing a dress like this one - short, casual, mostly white but maybe with some embellishments.

Don't wear it.
posted by amaire at 5:20 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

Best answer: It's not just the amount of white, it's the embroidery that's the problem. Large expanses of white + delicate embroidery accents = 'bridal-y'.

It's a bummer, but I wouldn't wear that to any wedding activity, no.

(I have put that same dress in and out of my asos basket several times over the past couple of months. In the end, I decided it was too expensive for 100% polyester. If that makes you feel any better. ;))
posted by Salamander at 6:38 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

Wow, that is gorgeous and definitely OK for a wedding. Love it.
posted by waving at 5:01 AM on April 28, 2014

It's a great looking dress I'm very glad you decided not to wear it. It is not OK to wear an essentially white dress to someone else's wedding. Unless you have a desire to cause the bride possible unhappiness, that is.
posted by Dolley at 7:39 AM on April 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Very pretty. I say buy it and save it for another occasion--it isn't really appropriate for any wedding-related event (some brides will wear a more casual white dress to the rehearsal dinner, etc.). Better safe than sorry here.
posted by anonnymoose at 7:52 AM on April 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: What a learning experience! I actually went over my own wedding photos after reading this thread and realized that one of my "bridesmaids" (we didn't really do a wedding party, but she's my BFF and read a passage during the ceremony) wore an off-white dress. It just didn't register with me. Granted, I'm pretty flexible as far as wedding traditions go, but it just hadn't occurred to me that white dresses at a wedding were that controversial. I'm glad I asked this question! I had actually ordered this dress already before having second thoughts, and when it arrived, I concurred with Salamander - in theory it's gorgeous, but in execution it's just too expensive for a polyester dress. Back it goes, never to ruin a wedding or bridal-related cocktail party again!
posted by Viola at 2:54 PM on April 29, 2014 [3 favorites]