Is this as impossible as it seems?
August 13, 2012 4:41 AM Subscribe
How do I date, as a late-30's woman who still wants kids?
posted by ArgyleSockPuppet to human relations (9 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I'm in my late 30's. I recently got out of a 3-year relationship and am now faced with the unpleasant prospect of trying to date again.
It's hard enough to do this at all (I'm still hurt from the last relationship, plus I have always faced serious prejudice in the dating realm because I am overweight), but the huge complicating factor is that I still want to have children.
I don't know how to go about dating. I don't know at what point in the process to mention that I still want to have kids, especially in online profiles/dating. If I mention it right away I may seem desperate and it may lead men who might otherwise be a good fit to rule me out. If I don't, I may end up wasting my time with someone who really does not want to have kids.
I also don't want to approach men as just potential fathers. Even if I do not end up having kids, I want a meaningful romantic relationship, so I'm looking for that first and foremost. I feel like if I allow my wish for a child to be pressing, I might treat people I'm dating as simply sperm donors. But if I don't keep it at the forefront of my mind, it would be easy to fall into a relationship where it just doesn't happen... and then it's too late.
I don't know how to take my time and not pressure anyone, but also have some potential for fulfilling this deep wish of mine, that will have to be fulfilled soon if at all.
Has anyone else dealt with this type of situation? Or know anyone else who has? What worked/didn't work? Is this as impossible as it currently seems to me?
Note I want a biological child only and I'm not open to (intentionally) raising a child on my own. I am not flexible on these points.