Facebook: my worst friend, my best enemy
July 3, 2012 1:54 PM Subscribe
I’m not on Facebook because, frankly, I didn’t have very many friends on the site and it was embarrassing. So I deleted the account. But now I’m reconsidering…
posted by anonymous to human relations (52 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
So, I’m not on Facebook, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m missing anything. I know that people use it as a tool for sharing invites, plans, pictures, etc. Friends and family members sometimes refer to things that were posted on Facebook, and I obviously have no idea what they’re talking about.
But here’s the thing: I used to be on Facebook, and it made me feel like I was back in middle school. This is not because my “friends” were beating me up or anything, but because I had about half as many “friends” as all of my other “friends”--we're talking double digits. The majority of my “friends” were coworkers (I have a large workplace), and even though I was an aggressive “friender” of people I’d recently met, it was still obvious I don’t have a wide social circle.
Why should this matter? Well, I have problems with people IRL, in that I’m awkward and standoffish, just by my very nature. That is not going to change. As a result, I frequently feel out of place in many different social settings. I am embarrassed by my lack of social finesse, but like to let people think that, hey, even if I don’t fit in with this particular crowd, I have a thriving social scene going on elsewhere. But the fact of the matter is, I don’t. And Facebook sorta laid that out for all my “friends” to see. (OK, I’ll stop with the “friends” in quotation marks.)
When I initially deleted my Facebook account, I felt relief that I no longer had to worry about how many friends I had, who was writing on my wall or vice versa, etc., on a daily basis. But in the year or so since then, I’ve repeatedly been asked why I’m not on Facebook. My spouse’s family, in particular, mentions it on a regular basis. I always mutter something about privacy and corporations, but I’m starting to wonder if being absent from Facebook is even more conspicuous than being on it and having about a third as many friends as most other people.
I also worry if I’m not missing out on social opportunities with friends IRL. I do have some friends in my town but we’ve drifted apart, and I am puzzled about how to reconnect without feeling like a stalker. I wonder if this would be facilitated by rejoining Facebook.
OK, I know there are many, many bigger problems to have, and yes, I’ve been through many rounds of therapy and yes, I realize I’m blowing Facebook out of proportion, but it’s gotten to where I mull on it a few times a week. When I was on Facebook I had honest-to-god nightmares about the stupid website, and I’m thinking it might be best just to leave it lie. But what do you think, Metafilter?