Was having a baby a mistake?
June 26, 2012 9:04 PM Subscribe
I am the mother of a beautiful, 5 week old baby girl. I wonder if I've made the biggest mistake of my life.
posted by elizamina to human relations (75 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I spend nearly every day crying. Horrible crying where I feel like I can't breathe, I feel like I'm dying. I saw a therapist and I will visit again next week for a medication appointment. I'm pretty sure I have postpartum depression, and yet, I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm terrified that my marriage will end, that my life is over, that having a baby was a huge mistake. How can this get better? How will it get better?
I've been with my husband for ten years. I wanted this baby desperately. For years, he said he wasn't ready and then he agreed to try to conceive. We conceived almost immediately. We fought about it terribly for the first trimester and then things seemed to get better. We seemed to be happy until the baby was born. Now I'm shocked, disappointed, and even angry that I feel this way. I don't want to resent my baby. I don't want my baby to be a mistake. I'm terrified my marriage will end, even though my husband says it won't. I'm terrified he'll resent the baby, resent the changes to our lives, even though he says he's adjusting. And I'm terrified I'll never be happy again. I feel like I can't breathe. I'm so scared all the time. Will I ever feel better? Will this ever get better?