Help me help my girlfriend have her first orgasm
June 21, 2012 1:00 PM Subscribe
My 35 y/o girlfriend has never had an orgasm... [NSFW details]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (32 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months now. Our sex life is a lot of fun and she initiates sex at least as much as I do. Unfortunately, she can't come. Not just with me.. she has never had an orgasm at all. Never by herself (and she has never had an interest in masturbation) and never with prior partners. She loves the idea of having her first orgasm and I do my best to make sure she knows I am looking forward to helping her have it without putting any kind of pressure on her.
During sex (especially oral sex), she often seems to be building towards an orgasm, but never actually gets there. She says the feelings get more and more intense (and from my perspective her body reacts like she is approaching an orgasm), but never feel like they are going to peak. She has said that she often feels a disconnect when her clit is stimulated. Essentially her body is reacting but it isn't reaching the pleasure centers in her brain. Spending a lot of time teasing her before going down on her or fingering her makes a huge difference in that respect.
A few times when I was going down on her, she got to the point where she seemed like she was on the edge of orgasm, but pulled away. Well, more accurately she pulled me up so she kiss me and have me inside her. Our current plan is for me to tie her down (something we both enjoy) then tease her and eventually go down on her. When (if) she gets to the point where she would normally pull me up to her, I will keep going until she hopefully has an orgasm.
So, have any of you been confronted by this situation (from either side)? If so, how did you get past it? Any specific tricks (mental or physical) that helped? You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org