A NSFW question about achieving a particular female orgasm...
I'm a heterosexual woman in my mid 20s. I've been masturbating since I was 12 and been sexually active with men and the occasional woman since I was 16. I consider myself fairly experienced and familiar with my body, and I enjoy a healthy happy sex life with my current SO, who makes me come frequently through oral sex and manual stimulation. I also sometimes masturbate to orgasm in front of him and am totally comfortable with that. I am capable of achieving orgasm with or without a vibrator.
With all that said, it's been my fantasy for a long time to have an orgasm during intercourse. I've always masturbated with direct or indirect clitoral stimulation and that is the easiest way for me to orgasm. To be very clear, I don't care if I orgasm from vaginal or clitoral stimulation -- I just want to have an orgasm while
having intercourse with my partner.
Plenty of men have been totally open to stimulating my clit manually or with a vibrator during intercourse, or asking me to do it myself, but I find that it's really hard to "focus" on clitoral stimulation while I'm also having vaginal intercourse. It also seems that I need constant pressure and stimulation to orgasm, so something like a vibrating cock ring would be fun and pleasurable but I would need my partner to stay still fully inside me in order to actually orgasm from it. Another thing I have tried is taking a relatively long break (a few weeks) from orgasming (through partner sex, masturbation, anything, etc) before having intercourse -- still nada. Finally, yet another technique that hasn't delivered is getting right "to the edge" of orgasm and then starting to have intercourse: I either fall over the edge and come before being penetrated, or lose it completely and don't come at all. (As a sidebar, typing all of this stuff out really gives me sympathy for men who seem to be under wayyy more societal pressure to control and time their orgasms and arousal).
By coincidence my trusty Gigi
vibrator just broke (a purchase last year with the intention of training myself to have G-spot orgasms... never came even close, so it's always been used externally) so I have two questions:
1) In general, have you ever been a woman like me OR had a partner like me who DID find a way to orgasm during intercourse? How did you do it? What advice can you give me that is more specific than "just focus on how you're feeling and the orgasm will happen"? I'm a highly sexual person who's had unfettered internet access since puberty, so please assume that I have read all such cliché platitudes about how to have an orgasm (especially the ones that claim that the stress of wanting to have an orgasm will prevent me from having one; spare me).
2) More specifically, is there a particular vibrator or sex toy that you think would help me achieve my goal? The Gigi needs to be replaced and if I'm going to throw down another $100 on a sex toy I'd like it to be one that will specifically get me where I'm trying to go, so to speak.
Here's a throwaway email address: firstname.lastname@example.org