So call me maybe! ...hey wait, you mean I've got to SUSTAIN a CONVERSATION on this thing this is CRAZY
June 1, 2012 9:07 PM Subscribe
How do you relearn the art/science/weird life skill of talking on the phone?
posted by dekathelon to human relations (24 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
I'm one of The Youngs who grew up never talking to anyone on the phone in favor of IM/texting/in-person conversations. The only person I call on a regular basis is my mother, and even then most of the time they're 5-minute "nothing new here!" "Nothing new here either!" "...k, love you, bye" deals. It never seemed like an issue. I'd be fine just Gchatting everyone when I'm not hanging out and getting rid of my phone entirely.
That's changed. I've made a couple friends who prefer talking on the phone. I suppose if you measure by how long you stay on the phone with them it's not a total failure, but I feel like I'm flailing around trying to fill the silences and saying really inane stuff as a result, and I feel like my voice comes off badly and I stutter and just make things awkward. I don't know how you're supposed to make conversations flow when it's so weirdly distant and impersonal and you can't see the person, and the connection breaks up so you can barely hear them sometimes and ugh. This is a basic life skill and I feel like I missed out on whatever part of a girl's upbringing teaches you to have hour-long (or more!) phone conversations. We do see each other in person sometimes, but the rest of the time?
The weird thing is I've done a ton of phone interviews, and those go OK. It's when there's not a script that things go awry. Bonus weirdness: one of said people is someone I'm dating, which ups the stakes - as in, the fact that we're calling each other regularly is probably a good thing unless it's awkward.
Is there a secret to this? Or is it just inherently weird for everyone?