Help a loner rejoin the herd!
April 26, 2012 12:46 PM Subscribe
How do I integrate myself into a social circle when I don't have a social circle?
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear to Human Relations (36 answers total) 87 users marked this as a favorite
I'm in my early thirties, and in the past decade have managed to move a few times, cut ties with previous friendships (mainly through neglect), and not make the effort to seek out new friendships. My few close friends in the last several years have been romantic partners. My reluctance to form new friendships has been largely due to depression and social anxiety that I'm currently in therapy for.
Therapy has helped with both and I'd like to build a more active social life, but I'm having a hard time with the fact that I've basically turned into a loner and don't know how to address this with potential friends. In the past, having a social circle has made a natural mingling and cross-pollination of friendships easy, but I feel like I don't have that social capital anymore. Basically, I have no idea how to approach an individual/group socially without feeling that I'm "tagging along" and not bringing anything to the table.
I should note that I'm a bit of an introvert, and am happiest with small, tight-knit groups, and I'm getting to an age where it feels like these groups have already gelled together. I have no idea how to find an "in" without feeling like an imposter/outsider.
If anyone has any experiences and advice that might help make the leap back into an active social life easier, I'd really love to hear about it. Thanks!