All I ask is an email, damn it!
April 19, 2012 5:11 PM Subscribe
For those of you who don't contact your SO every day - and for those of you who got used to a SO who goes radio silent: Help! I'd love some perspective.
posted by mylittlepoppet to Human Relations (50 answers total) 23 users marked this as a favorite
I've been dating a guy for two months now who seems very into me when we're together but just doesn't contact me so much when we're apart. We go a day and a half with no contact sometimes. (Those of you who think, "What?!? What's the problem?" when you read that - I want to hear from you!) We see each other every five days or so (usually together for a couple of days straight), but almost no weekday hanging out. If I text, he texts back, but sometimes he just doesn't answer my emails.
Apart from this, he's great. I have a fun time with him. I've met his sisters, friends, parents. But for some reason, no matter how hard I try, I can't squash my discomfort over the incommunicado periods. I've mentioned it to him (maybe not very articulately but I've mentioned it twice now) and he seems to hear me but I'm getting the feeling it's just the way he rolls and I can't expect him to change. (Ha. Surprise!)
So, I'm figuring out if I can live with it. I WANT to be able to live with it, but the periods of silence make me feel unliked, and uncertain of his feelings. I know that's irrational (I mean, 24-36 hours! I go that long without talking to my bestie!). But nobody else I know (and nobody I've dated) operates the way he does. This is a bewildering first for me.
I'm hoping maybe the awesome people of AskMeFi who've encountered this (or who ARE this way) can help me understand an alternate reasoning to his behavior than "He's just not into you," which I admit is ringing through my brain though it makes no sense in any other aspect of his behavior.
Possibly relevant details - we're long out of college, and I have tons going on in my life: this insecurity isn't a product of me forgoing all my hobbies and friends, I promise!