dumped for vague reason
March 19, 2012 7:02 AM Subscribe
What do you do when you are dumped, because even though everything is going well, "something is not there" and "things are not progressing"?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (36 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
The answer is probably obvious but please bear with me, because I'm sure we've all been dumped before and grasping to that last bit of hope. We've been dating about 6 months, and things have been going well. Suddenly, they told me that they've been struggling with feeling confused for awhile, feeling that the relationship was not moving forward as it should be, and that despite the fact that it seems that everything is going well, they enjoy talking to me, are attracted to me, and respect me, something is just not there and they don't know what. They said it wasn't another person, and that their feelings for me haven't changed, but nothing has progressed.
I didn't try to fight it or press for more answers, and just sadly said goodbye. I am of course distraught and typically apply the no contact rule. But the more I think about it, the more this is driving me crazy. What did they mean? Was this just a gentle way of saying they're just not that into me? Or was it because I show my love and commitment enough and they felt that the relationship was stagnant? I want to ask for clarification and see if this is fixable, but I'm wary because 1. contacting them would possibly mean reopening the wound and make it more hurtful for myself, 2. maybe it is already painfully clear and I'm just too blind to see it, and 3. I don't want to be the desperate crazy person and embarrass myself.
What do you think about their explanation? Is it a load of hand wavy crap and I'm right in feeling like I deserve a better reason? Or is this very common and I should just accept it as that I'm not what he's looking for?
(I know I sound like a sad teenager... a broken heart does that to you I suppose... please be kind but also brutally honest if necessary)