Meeting new people: I feel like some (women) see me as a child
February 28, 2012 2:31 PM Subscribe
Meeting a new person; why do I get so frustrated
posted by Lotsofcoffee to Human Relations (27 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
So, my dad just found himself a new girlfriend, and we're out eating everyone (my girlfriend as well) together. I liked her, she seemed nice. But I sometimes just felt that she didn't like me or she thought I was a bit weird. I had that feeling four times or so during the evening, and she mostly avoided speaking to me, speaking mostly to my gf or dad. I noticed this thing initially when we met, and I was smiling and perhaps a tiny bit nervous, but to me, I just acted normal in the circumstances - I noticed she gave me this glance I recognized, and I felt like she saw me as a child; or I'm thinking she thinks that "ah he's very childish he's like an insecure or frightened child", as if she would know or say. As if she recognized something like that in me instantly; that's how I saw that look.
And I've tried that before, mostly with women actually. I feel like they give me this look, like they suddenly see I'm a sensitive or perhaps a bit nervous guy (though I don't really act that nervous); or it's like they become afraid of how I am, or as if they see something about me that makes them a bit awkward. And I'm just being myself, me! I've asked friends about this, but they don't really know what I mean.
What can this be? Can it just be something I'm projecting on others? I feel like I can be seen through totally when I get that glance or look, as if I'm sending out a nervousness or insecurity fragrance or something.
I don't know what it is that I'm doing, perhaps I'm not doing anything at all and it was just because she was a bit unsure of me. But I get this feel a lot. And she didn't speak to me much during the evening. A bit, but mostly not to me. It's also like people notice this in me when I'm in situations where I feel insecure or a bit nervous - it's like even though I act normal and make jokes or conversation and relax, I'm forced into this role. As if there's something I do that triggers it - and every single time I feel like I've lost something afterwards - as if I've been "figured out" or as if I'm back to step one. It can destroy days for me afterwards and I've tried periods where I felt more and more like this with everyone, triggered from one or two situations. As if I'm definately different or weird compared to most others, and I can't find back to the place where I feel like I'm on the same social level as others. It's so weird....
Anyone have any idea?