Cheri doesn't think positive self-talk or affirmations are helpful. She draws a distinction between an "affirmation" and a "reassurance". Repeating an affirmation means repeating something that isn't true. Maybe you want it to be true, but it's not true now. Someone who never moves from the sofa can repeat the affirmation "I am physically active and fit" all they want, but deep down they know it's not true. Someone involved in an unhealthy relationship can repeat "My partner loves, respects, and supports me as an equal" until they turn blue in the face without it having any effect on the partner. Deep down, it's not true.
A reassurance is something you tell yourself that is true. "No matter what, I'm here with you and we'll get through this together." "When I hold myself in compassionate awareness, I am equal to the challenges of my life." "I love you exactly as you are and I will help you work to become whatever you want to be."
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http://www.amazon.com/Dilbert-Future-Thriving-Stupidity-Century/dp/B0039O12ZG
posted by raghuram at 4:08 AM on January 17