Less attractive than I think?
November 22, 2011 7:29 AM Subscribe
I know the general practice for women is to date guys who seem into you, but what if guys don't seem into you?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (31 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I think ("think" being the operative word here) I'm an interesting, smart, funny, good looking, curvy (not fat, but not thin) female... but guys never seem into me. There's literally one guy I've ever dated who's seemed sexually interested in me, and that was just friends with benefits.
There's one guy I see regularly who I want to pursue romantically, but every time we meet, I get more and more discouraged. Three months ago, he ended a long-term relationship. He wants someone serious next (and so do I), but, for instance, I saw him tonight and our legs touched under the table, and he jerked away. It's things like this that make me think he wouldn't be receptive if I was like, hey, i'm into you. (I don't mind being rejected, but I mind making a friend uncomfortable to the point where he won't want to hang out with me anymore.) Generally, I think I'm bad at flirting -- I'm very nice and extroverted, but I can't tell if someone wants to date me, and men rarely approach me unless they're gross guys on the street.
I guess what I'm asking is, 1) how do you know you're less attractive than you think you are? and what should you do about it? date guys you're less attracted to? 2) how do you make it obvious to someone you have feelings for them without making it awkward if they reject you? 3) how do you meet people who seem genuinely interested in you if you're someone post-college? I have several guys friends I'd potentially be interested in dating, but I really don't think any of them would be interested in me.