What should I get a girl who is in the hospital?
November 11, 2011 3:26 AM Subscribe
A girl at work is going to have surgery. What can I get her to cheer her up?
I found out today that a girl I work with is going to have surgery and will be out for 4 weeks starting Monday. She is a very outgoing girl, and I imagine that between the hospital and bed rest, the 4 weeks is going to be very dreary for her. I really want to get her some things to cheer her up. What is a good idea?
A few things about this:
- Her husband is a really good friend of mine
- both she and her husband work with me, and we talk everyday
- She is pretty fashion conscious, and always has on amazing jewelry
- I'm thinking of getting her a small thing each week, for example, a few magazines the first week, a nice bath set after her surgery, etc. I may not be able to visit her every week, but I can always give it to her husband.
I've never had to be in the hospital for an extended stay, so I really appreciate your advice!
I found out today that a girl I work with is going to have surgery and will be out for 4 weeks starting Monday. She is a very outgoing girl, and I imagine that between the hospital and bed rest, the 4 weeks is going to be very dreary for her. I really want to get her some things to cheer her up. What is a good idea?
A few things about this:
- Her husband is a really good friend of mine
- both she and her husband work with me, and we talk everyday
- She is pretty fashion conscious, and always has on amazing jewelry
- I'm thinking of getting her a small thing each week, for example, a few magazines the first week, a nice bath set after her surgery, etc. I may not be able to visit her every week, but I can always give it to her husband.
I've never had to be in the hospital for an extended stay, so I really appreciate your advice!
I would advise against jewelry - might seem too romantic. Perhaps a few nice scarves, if she wears them.
As a Kindle owner, I've got to say that it's the most amazing thing ever. I was really loath to get an eReader and decried them as an abomination unto all that is holy... until I had a baby and really needed to be able to read one-handed. It's truly amazing. It makes an excellent one-time gift as you can give it to her and she can download a pretty much endless supply of reading material.
Bath sets can be tricky. Find out what her instructions are for post-surgical care. She might not be able to soak in a tub, depending on where her incisions are. 'Tis the season for dry skin though, so some nice lotion might be a good alternative to soaps. I'm a HUGE fan of cocoa butter in the winter - the Body Shop makes a nice one. In general, I'd recommend The Body Shop for bath goods as their stuff is nice smelling without being overly cloying. (Bath and Body Works? I can't even stand going IN there the smells are so strong.) Lush is also good - but trickier for sensitive skin. I love the idea of a bathbomb, but I break out in crazy rashes from their stuff.
If I were in bed for four weeks, what I would most appreciate would be simply having visitors now and then. Especially if they brought lunch from the outside world. Find out if she's going to have any dietary restrictions - but a nice meal can really improve your outlook on the world when you're stuck in your own house for an extended period of time.
posted by sonika at 4:21 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]
As a Kindle owner, I've got to say that it's the most amazing thing ever. I was really loath to get an eReader and decried them as an abomination unto all that is holy... until I had a baby and really needed to be able to read one-handed. It's truly amazing. It makes an excellent one-time gift as you can give it to her and she can download a pretty much endless supply of reading material.
Bath sets can be tricky. Find out what her instructions are for post-surgical care. She might not be able to soak in a tub, depending on where her incisions are. 'Tis the season for dry skin though, so some nice lotion might be a good alternative to soaps. I'm a HUGE fan of cocoa butter in the winter - the Body Shop makes a nice one. In general, I'd recommend The Body Shop for bath goods as their stuff is nice smelling without being overly cloying. (Bath and Body Works? I can't even stand going IN there the smells are so strong.) Lush is also good - but trickier for sensitive skin. I love the idea of a bathbomb, but I break out in crazy rashes from their stuff.
If I were in bed for four weeks, what I would most appreciate would be simply having visitors now and then. Especially if they brought lunch from the outside world. Find out if she's going to have any dietary restrictions - but a nice meal can really improve your outlook on the world when you're stuck in your own house for an extended period of time.
posted by sonika at 4:21 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]
Hospital is boring, and the food is often awful; and if you're on bed-rest at home you're bored and probably haven't the energy to cook the things you'd normally like. You want thing to alleviate those, but bearing in mind limitations after surgery - so don't bring food if she's on a restricted diet, don't bring magazines if they're going to be difficult for her to hold to read and so on. Bath sets and jewelry are nice, but do nothing to relieve the boredom. Little things each week sounds great - they don't even have to be gifts, they can be things to lend to entertain (like lending books or DVDs).
posted by Coobeastie at 4:30 AM on November 11, 2011
posted by Coobeastie at 4:30 AM on November 11, 2011
Response by poster: Thank you for the ideas so far! Please keep them coming!
I guess I should add a few things:
- Unfortunately I live in China. Kindle is banned here (yeah, really...)
- Although I'm better friends with her husband, I'm female.
- Since her parents live close by, her parents will be taking care of her day-to-day.
posted by xmts at 4:40 AM on November 11, 2011
I guess I should add a few things:
- Unfortunately I live in China. Kindle is banned here (yeah, really...)
- Although I'm better friends with her husband, I'm female.
- Since her parents live close by, her parents will be taking care of her day-to-day.
posted by xmts at 4:40 AM on November 11, 2011
xmts: "Although I'm better friends with her husband, I'm female. "
Useful to know! Without that piece of information, gifts like the ones you were offering totally seem intimate.
Is this friend native Chinese? If so I honestly think this is a case of cultural/social norms that most of us here on MetaFilter can't really comment on. Do you have any friends at work you can ask for advice?
posted by Deathalicious at 4:57 AM on November 11, 2011
Useful to know! Without that piece of information, gifts like the ones you were offering totally seem intimate.
Is this friend native Chinese? If so I honestly think this is a case of cultural/social norms that most of us here on MetaFilter can't really comment on. Do you have any friends at work you can ask for advice?
posted by Deathalicious at 4:57 AM on November 11, 2011
Do you know if she will have access to a CD or some other kind of musc player? If you know her taste in music that might be a nice gift. Hospitals don't sound very nice.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:00 AM on November 11, 2011
posted by Deathalicious at 5:00 AM on November 11, 2011
I enjoyed watching DVD sets of TV shows. I think I watched the entire series of The Wire or the original Hawaii 50 series - something without too many laughs (I had abdominal surgery, laughing hurts!) Downton Abbey is ridiculously indulgent, or the BBC Pride and Prejudice series whiles away the time spent at home. Books seemed a bit harder to manage.
posted by honey-barbara at 5:20 AM on November 11, 2011
posted by honey-barbara at 5:20 AM on November 11, 2011
Seconding the scarf idea. Maybe not a scarf every day, but definitely toss a scarf in there. A BIG one. When I'm feeling blah, I like wrapping myself up in a huge scarf and disappearing like a turtle. A big, pretty scarf would be a great gift.
posted by phunniemee at 5:30 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 5:30 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]
She may not be able to use a bathtub or even to really shower properly for a good long while after surgery, depending on what kind it is. So maybe wait for week 4 on the bath set? Things to do are good when you are bored but drugged and exhausted. I know it sounds dull, but really: magazines, puzzles, crosswords, anything you can do home alone is win.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:52 AM on November 11, 2011
posted by DarlingBri at 5:52 AM on November 11, 2011
Hmmm, I live in China and use a kindle. I know of others in China who use a kindle as well. I'm pretty sure it's not banned. The only thing I can think of that you might mean is that if you have a Chinese address on your kindle account, there's a limit to what books you can order. But you can get around that by using a US address, as I did.
Is your friend Chinese? I'm guessing she is, since you said her parents live close by....in which case a kindle is not necessary unless she likes to read English books.
As for movies, she can watch any movie or TV she wants on the Chinese internet. Does she have a small laptop for that?
Fashion magazines are good, and maybe snacks/chocolate? Tea? Most Chinese people appreciate nice tea.
posted by bearette at 6:04 AM on November 11, 2011
Is your friend Chinese? I'm guessing she is, since you said her parents live close by....in which case a kindle is not necessary unless she likes to read English books.
As for movies, she can watch any movie or TV she wants on the Chinese internet. Does she have a small laptop for that?
Fashion magazines are good, and maybe snacks/chocolate? Tea? Most Chinese people appreciate nice tea.
posted by bearette at 6:04 AM on November 11, 2011
The easiest way to get around a Kindle is to go the old fashioned route and buy her a stack of books & magazines, with the books go the Fiction bestseller route is my recommendation. When you are stuck in hospital even a sucky book is better than staring at the walls. Audio books are great for people too tired/unwell to read but well enough to be bored just laying there. Puzzle books like word hunts, Sudoku and crosswords, which are pretty much traditional in my family for hospital gifts. If she's allowed try sneaking in some favourite foods.
Husbands don't usually think of it but a nice lotion that smells of something other than hospital is always nice while in there as the heating in those places always dries my skin out. If she has an iPod maybe a iTunes card if she has access to the internet there.
posted by wwax at 6:26 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]
Husbands don't usually think of it but a nice lotion that smells of something other than hospital is always nice while in there as the heating in those places always dries my skin out. If she has an iPod maybe a iTunes card if she has access to the internet there.
posted by wwax at 6:26 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I encourage you to think backward. Most post-operative bed resters get lots of attention at the outset, then watch visitors slowly dwindle away by the end of week one. The middle weeks consist of self-pity, malaise and care-giver abuse, followed by end-of-the-tunnel optimism in the final approach.
If this sounds like a fresh memory, a friend just had a very complicated leg break, major surgery and a 110-day forced recuperation at home. Of course she works in extreme customer service (think airline hostess), socializes daily, and does not treasure alone time. She also lives in a third floor walkup.
We offset this by forming a team of about 15 friends who sadistically set up parties in her living room at least once (twice) a week, double-teamed her housekeeping chores on a rotating basis (took five minutes when ten people did it), and scheduled major construction in two rooms she wasn't using so that she could have some young hunky construction workers to watch and boss around for fun. (Yes, it's sexist. No one was abused.) She got stuck with dog-sitting another friend's Jack Russell puppy a couple times, just to keep the cat entertained. Nobody is bored with a Jack Russell around.
One video-oriented friend of ours lent her 450 discs worth of TV serials, movies and documentaries for her "down time." I think she got to watch about four hours' worth. Another friend loaned her a set of Rosetta Stone language discs, and now she can add passable French to her resume. This might have been the only time in her life she could truly focus on it.
Most appreciated were prepaid daily lunch/coffee deliveries from a sandwich emporium down the street and weekly flower deliveries. Between 15 of us, the expense was not great, but the results were.
I doubt seriously if your friend needs this much stimulation, but ours did, and we pulled it off. I hope your experience is somewhat less Fellini-esque, but I doubt she'll ever forget it. She said she had to mail out 56 thank you notes when it was over.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:09 AM on November 11, 2011 [4 favorites]
If this sounds like a fresh memory, a friend just had a very complicated leg break, major surgery and a 110-day forced recuperation at home. Of course she works in extreme customer service (think airline hostess), socializes daily, and does not treasure alone time. She also lives in a third floor walkup.
We offset this by forming a team of about 15 friends who sadistically set up parties in her living room at least once (twice) a week, double-teamed her housekeeping chores on a rotating basis (took five minutes when ten people did it), and scheduled major construction in two rooms she wasn't using so that she could have some young hunky construction workers to watch and boss around for fun. (Yes, it's sexist. No one was abused.) She got stuck with dog-sitting another friend's Jack Russell puppy a couple times, just to keep the cat entertained. Nobody is bored with a Jack Russell around.
One video-oriented friend of ours lent her 450 discs worth of TV serials, movies and documentaries for her "down time." I think she got to watch about four hours' worth. Another friend loaned her a set of Rosetta Stone language discs, and now she can add passable French to her resume. This might have been the only time in her life she could truly focus on it.
Most appreciated were prepaid daily lunch/coffee deliveries from a sandwich emporium down the street and weekly flower deliveries. Between 15 of us, the expense was not great, but the results were.
I doubt seriously if your friend needs this much stimulation, but ours did, and we pulled it off. I hope your experience is somewhat less Fellini-esque, but I doubt she'll ever forget it. She said she had to mail out 56 thank you notes when it was over.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:09 AM on November 11, 2011 [4 favorites]
Ah, if you're also female, jewelry would be fine (though as mentioned, it won't alleviate any boredom). Also didn't realize you were in China! Sorry about US-specific bath product recommendations! Though my advice that you avoid cloying scents stands.
Most appreciated were prepaid daily lunch/coffee deliveries from a sandwich emporium down the street and weekly flower deliveries. Between 15 of us, the expense was not great, but the results were.
Yes, absolutely. Were I stuck in bed, I would LOVE this.
posted by sonika at 8:48 AM on November 11, 2011
Most appreciated were prepaid daily lunch/coffee deliveries from a sandwich emporium down the street and weekly flower deliveries. Between 15 of us, the expense was not great, but the results were.
Yes, absolutely. Were I stuck in bed, I would LOVE this.
posted by sonika at 8:48 AM on November 11, 2011
My bf got me a Nintendo when I was bedridden from a surgery. I don't usually play video games but it was a good gift for the boredom. Yes, and those little laptop DVD players. For some reason I like those when I'm in bed better than a regular size TV. I also like headphones to go with them.
How about a nice stack of fluffy silly reading?
posted by small_ruminant at 10:14 AM on November 11, 2011
How about a nice stack of fluffy silly reading?
posted by small_ruminant at 10:14 AM on November 11, 2011
You're very thoughtful for doing this! What about a pretty, comfortable lap desk so she has somewhere to work while she's recovering, a back support pillow, maybe a heating pad--she might end up with a stiff neck/back from having to spend most of her time in bed, a nice soft blanket.
posted by gladly at 11:07 AM on November 11, 2011
posted by gladly at 11:07 AM on November 11, 2011
Hospital stink is depressing day after day. How about a light, non-intense, fresh-smelling essential oil or spray to use in her room? Even great smelling hand lotion helps.
posted by thatone at 12:57 PM on November 11, 2011
posted by thatone at 12:57 PM on November 11, 2011
I'm in hospital recovering from surgery now, and everything halfbuckaroo said sounds great! In fact, I may start practicing French.
posted by mgrrl at 2:22 PM on November 11, 2011
posted by mgrrl at 2:22 PM on November 11, 2011
mgrrl: I'm afraid the UK is a bit of a slog from South Florida, but I hope you get well quick! Bon jour!
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:38 AM on November 12, 2011
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:38 AM on November 12, 2011
I have an upcoming surgery (no hospital stay), and I adore halfbuckaroo's answer. I think I would appreciate anything that added a little something special to my routine and kept me distracted when I was feeling sore or antsy.
posted by stoneandstar at 7:14 PM on November 12, 2011
posted by stoneandstar at 7:14 PM on November 12, 2011
Response by poster: Thank you all for your great answers! I bought her a stack of magazines for this week, and I'm going to lend her a huge stack of DVDs next week. I'll come back to this list after that and see what else I can do for her!
posted by xmts at 8:40 PM on November 12, 2011
posted by xmts at 8:40 PM on November 12, 2011
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posted by XMLicious at 3:59 AM on November 11, 2011