I got you this cosplay custome so you can wear it at the wedding.

July 19, 2009 10:17 AM

[WeddingGiftFilter] Looking for a wedding gift for a friend of mine. Male and works in a hospital.

A friend of mine is getting married in October. I've known him through a mutual good friend but consider him a decent friend as well. Since we live in different states we've only met each other a couple times - however we used to play the same online game everyday and would constantly talk to each other. I know he likes the sportscar Integra, Japanese anime (full metal alchemist) (but definitely not an otaku), plays guitar sometimes...and that's pretty much it! Oh and he's Asian!

I've thought about getting him something anime-related but figured that's too immaturish. I want to get him something that he can still look at in a few years and appreciate as much. Price range $50~$85 would be great.

Thank you for your help Hive Mind!

posted by jstarlee to shopping (12 answers total)

Uh, shouldn't a wedding gift be for both halves of the couple?
posted by amro at 10:18 AM on July 19, 2009 [3 favorites]

Yes...good point. I have never met the bride but I will get her something else. For this question I am mainly interested in getting something for my friend.

Or is that an bad idea? Should I not get separate gifts for the bride and the groom?
posted by jstarlee at 10:23 AM on July 19, 2009

Here are some examples of things that people generally give as wedding gifts: stuff for the couple's kitchen, stuff for the couple's living room, stuff for the couple's home in general, stuff for the couple, gift cards to a store at which the couple is registered. Wedding gifts are a little different from birthday gifts, because the aim is to celebrate the MARRIAGE of the two people rather than just one person. When you received the invitation, did it include some information about where they are registered? If so, go to that store, find something on their registry within your price range, and get that, or get a gift card.
posted by so_gracefully at 10:24 AM on July 19, 2009

Go to amazon, target. Crate and barrel, bed bath and beyond, pottery barn, your local department store's website, type on their names and find their registry. In my world, a friend as distant as you would spend $20-30. Some kitchen item should do.

Weddings aren't birthdays. People generally don't get anything personal but rather household goods.
posted by k8t at 10:33 AM on July 19, 2009

Wrapables is one of my favorite sites for "I don't really know what to give but I need something neat!" gifts. They have a big range of prices. It is a little tacky, traditionally, to give separate gifts for the bride and groom but, like everything else wedding-related, that's really up to the couple at hand. If they don't have a registry set up, get something that celebrates them as a couple, or that you know would be useful to them in setting up a home together.

If you're totally at a loss about the bride, try and find something out about the theme of the wedding. It's generally a good bet that the theme of the wedding was chosen by the bride, and that she likes whatever it may be. Usually the invitation coordinates. It might be a color, or a season, or a time period, or any number of other things. If you get something that would coordinate with the invitation you're generally going to align with her taste.
posted by Mizu at 10:35 AM on July 19, 2009

If you can't find a registry, some sort of household item from might be good.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:38 AM on July 19, 2009

Ps, have the item shipped to them. Especially if you're coming from out of town, bringing a gift to the actual event, in my experience is rare (and for cash or gift cards). You can also send it after the wedding. Rules are up to a year.

Also, if you really don't know them well, like it sounds, don't guess at art or stuff that you'd think that they'd like. If you can buy from the registry great. If not do an Amazon gift card.
posted by k8t at 10:41 AM on July 19, 2009

Whoops, I meant to say "thinkgeek.com."
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:42 AM on July 19, 2009

Where are they registered? That would be the first place to check.
posted by Ookseer at 10:48 AM on July 19, 2009

I second so_gracefully. I think generally wedding gifts are the kind of thing that you give to the couple, as a gesture to their new life together. That said, it's your dime. Gifts aren't supposed to come with strings attached, so if it were me, I'd be pleased to get anything.

If there isn't a registry immediately obvious, do you know any of the groom's family members or close friends? Registries are sometimes a weirdly secretive affair that you have to ask someone that isn't the bride or groom to find out about. Kind of like a private club where you aren't in the know until you talk to the right people.
posted by Diagonalize at 10:49 AM on July 19, 2009

It's not inexpensive, but if you could get an image of them together ("Hey, congrats - I'm happy for you! I'd love to see a picture of the happy couple!"), how about a custom anime/manga-style illustration? Here's one source. There must be others.
posted by peagood at 11:04 AM on July 19, 2009

If you don't know the bride well, it might be hard to say what they would like. It'd be a shame to get him something awesome that's meant for display but isn't to her taste; he wouldn't want to be put in that position either. That said, something small to say "hey dude, I remember you!" in addition to the gift for both of them would be a nice touch. I've heard many people speak with great fondness of cards they received that had that personal touch, for example, and (depending on their tolerance for "stuff") many people save wedding cards.
posted by Lady Li at 11:41 AM on July 19, 2009