How to have a baby and a life?
October 18, 2011 3:05 PM Subscribe
Pregnant and Scared: How to have a baby and a life? Advice desperately needed: Were you somehow able to fulfill your dreams (travel, career, etc.) with a baby, especially if you were middle class (or lower) economically? If so, how did you do it?
posted by anonymous to home & garden (65 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
My husband and I are almost 30 years old and just found out we are pregnant (about 5 weeks along). We have been married for a little over five years and are very, very, very much in love. We have never wanted children, not because we think we'd be horrible parents (we adore other people's children), but because we wanted to have the freedom to travel (once we were financially sound) and maybe start our own business one day without dealing with the humongous financial, emotional, physical and time commitment of children. My husband will be graduating in May with a BS in engineering, and we were looking forward to finally having a little more financial stability in our lives once he starts working full-time (we have virtually no savings yet, as most of our money going to medical bills [finally paid the last of those off last month] and school loans [$30K left to pay]). We were planning on both working very hard for a few years, saving up some money, and traveling a little bit (not luxuriously, but at least being able to see the world and explore other cultures together), and maybe in ten years starting our own business.
But now with this totally unintended/unexpected pregnancy, I feel that our life which was finally about to get on track has hit a huge, huge roadblock. Now I fear we will continue to be "poor" (by Western standards) and in debt for years and years to come, which I am so worried basically shatters all our dreams of traveling and starting our business. From watching friends and family raise their children, I know that babies are expensive, time-consuming and exhausting, and I honestly just don't know if I can do it (or if I want to do it - yes this is cold and selfish and mean-hearted and I feel terrible for even thinking it, but I feel like I need to be honest about how I feel at this point). Any thoughts or advice from those who've done it (or links to blogs, etc.) would be most greatly appreciated. Thank you.