My boyfriend is an emotionally healthy person with situationally appropriate emotional responses! How do I deal with that?
August 18, 2011 1:16 PM Subscribe
After years of not-quite-emotionally-healthy surroundings, I'm usually tense and awkward around people when they get angry because I'm expecting them to inevitably turn their anger towards me. My boyfriend totally doesn't do that! But now I realize that I don't know what normal people are supposed to do when their S.O. is frustrated.
posted by sometimes_a_pony to human relations (13 answers total) 33 users marked this as a favorite
With working full time, being creative, and moving into a new place together, there's a lot of projects on our plate, and sometimes he gets justifiably frustrated and angry, like real people do. He'll be knee-deep in a personal endeavor, and complications and grumpiness will ensue. Still, he doesn't snap at me or conflate outside distractions with his personal grouchiness.
It's taken me this long (6 months) to get used to it so that I don't get all anxious and weird when he's irritated with something, but now I want to know what the positive things are to do! I don't want to be annoying, but asking about the difficulty is good, right? Like, "What's wrong?" pause for listening, nods "Is there anything that would help?" . And then just...backing off and doing my own thing again? Is that all there is to it?
Help me out, folks. Healthy feelings, healthy responses. That's what I'm aiming for.