Should I call out a friend on gossip-mongering on the number of sexual partner's I've had?
July 19, 2011 3:44 PM Subscribe
Should I confront a friend about blabbing the number of sexual partner's I've had?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (32 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I made some foolish errors in telling a particular friend about my sex life. It was a few years ago, and to add to my stupid mistake, what I told her contained elaborated lies about myself.
Since then it's been realized (by me and by our other mutual friends in other circumstances) that she is incredibly big-mouthed and loves to spread gossip about a lot of people. She knows an incredible amount of people to begin with, and she is frequently telling very personal details about all of the friends, colleagues and acquaintances she deals with on regular basis.
I told her a fake number of the amount of people I've slept with. I gave her the real number + 8. I also lie-bragged to her that I "dabbled" in meeting a few men off of craigslist and having sex with them for money. A pretty stupid move, and hopefully it will read as a lie since the majority of real sex workers do not out themselves. This was about 3 years ago when I was 22 and going through a "I want to be a tough slut" phase. It would seem a bit silly to come out and say "HEY I WAS LYING". That would look like I'm trying to desperately cover my ass, which I want to do, but I'd rather do it cool and discreetly.
Now I am dealing with the embarrassing mistake of telling her this stupid lie. I went to a party about two months ago and ran into a guy who is kind of in our social circle who also happens to be an old friend of hers. He used to (maybe still does) like me, a lot, and has a history of being an emotional drunk. At said party, he confessed he really really liked me, and then proceeded to ask me how many people I've slept with. I said I wouldn't tell him. He then went ahead and guessed the exact number I had told my friend 3 years prior. I was also a little drunk at the time and didn't think to defend myself or react in a tactful way. I kind of just said "yeah, well, whatever" and the subject changed.
Now, I know I am entirely to blame for sharing such a self-destructive lie about myself. I've had some issues in the past with mental illness and attention seeking behavior, and have since made a big turn around in my life and behavior. I've really settled down and chilled out. I don't scream for attention in really stupid ways the way I used to in my early twenties. I now want to walk away and wash my hands clean of this mess, but find it difficult to do so since the friend in question knows almost everyone I know, as we work in the art scene in my city as do most of our friends.
Basically, I want to know how I should approach this friend without any real proof. What should I do?