I came out to my parents. It isn't going well.
June 16, 2011 7:35 PM Subscribe
I recently came out to my parents. How can I not let their opinions about my sexuality lower my self esteem and mess with my sex-drive?
posted by Autumn to Human Relations (31 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
It took me a long time not to feel like I was gross and perverted for being attracted to other women. I came out to my parents last week, and now every other conversation involves them telling me about how wrong and disgusting and gross they find my choices. They've also been saying that I'm only dating a woman and because I can't find a man, I shouldn't lower myself like that, I shouldn't be so desperate, they didn't raise me this way, and things along that line. They've also been making inappropriate comments about my sex life such as sarcastically asking, "So, what's it like to be with a woman?" and following up with a hateful comment like, "We all know she's a bull-dyke, don't try to pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about."
My parents and I have a strained relationship to begin with, so I thought their reaction wouldn't phase me. But now that it's starting to seem time for the girlfriend and I to have sex, it's difficult for me to think about it without thinking of my parents' comments and feeling down on myself. I've slept with women before and I never felt bad about it, but now that I'm out and they're commenting on it I feel uneasy. I think the open comments about my sex life bother me the most because we're not at all the type of family that talks about that and previously it remained unspoken. I feel so uncomfortable with how every time I go out with her they basically say "we know you're having sex with another woman and it's disgusting." I live with them and moving out isn't an option. I'm not doing anything like having sex in the house; I don't even have her over just to hang out.
Help? I want to go back to being happy I met someone I'm really into and excited about sexy things and I really, really don't want to go back to teenage-me who felt like she was the worst person in the world for liking other women.