How to be dominant in the bedroom?
May 23, 2011 10:13 PM Subscribe
How to be dominant in the bedroom? [NSFW]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (32 answers total) 34 users marked this as a favorite
I met a woman who is awesome, we get along very well, have a lot of shared interests, I really like her. She has let me know that in the bedroom she wants me to be dominant and that she needs that to feel truly fulfilled. She does not want ropes or to be restrained or anything like that, but she says she wants me to "take over" with regard to our sex life, and that she would be ecstatic if I decided when/where/how we have sex and then just initiated it. She said we would use a safe word and that she is turned on by rough sex. She wants me to, “take her and fuck her when I feel like it”.
Yeah, so, the thing is, I have been pretty vanilla before this relationship. Never used safe words. All new territory for me.
I am assertive in my personal and professional life, but no one would mistake me for “dominant”. And that is fine. I am comfortable with my identity and conception of self. I do not want to change and am not looking for some PUA/Seduction community garbage about how to be dominant. I do want to please this woman.
I know communication is key and we have talked, but she would also like me to figure a lot of this out on my own (I guess that goes with the whole being dominant thing).
So, AskMe, please let loose with the recommendations. Books, websites, prior questions on this topic. I know that the Fetlife Metafilter group is often mentioned but I am not sure if I am a candidate for the group; I think I might feel like a tourist because my issue is not really BDSM, I don’t think? Throwaway email is firstname.lastname@example.org