How to be happy again?
May 7, 2011 1:53 AM Subscribe
How to be happy again?
I know in the past I have posted about this, but it’s been 8 months now and I like to pay special attention to my healing process.
I know getting over someone who you feel like you truly loved my take an indefinite amount of time which is influenced by an unimaginable amount of factors. But I’m having a one of those days when it really gets to you.
As this is not the first time I’ve had my heart broken by a girl, I was very prepared or at least privy to the long road of loneliness and healing that would await. And even though the familiar shot of adrenaline I used to get from memories that would seamlessly move into my thoughts come few and far between, I find myself longing for her sometimes so much more than I did at the beginning. I feel almost numb to the pain now, but her absence is still very apparent and profound. Almost like my heart no longer stops when something reminds me of her but rather beats much slower for the moment as if time stands still. Obviously this is not a new sensation, I’ve felt this way in the past and I’m sure everyone else has as well.
The thing is… I’ve done everything right in my healing. I focused on school much more than I ever did in second and third year. My GPA is higher than it’s ever been; I’ve solidified my friendships and gotten closer to the people most important to me. I’ve been at the gym with my dad and gotten in great shape and taken on lots of new activities outside school and friends. Overall, I’ve really worked on myself this past 8 months and in any other circumstances I should be very happy. But I’m troubled by this hole she left in my life.
Some days are worse than others. And some are awful. But I’m just feeling so worn out because of my breakup.
Thanks in advance to any similar stories or advice...
I know in the past I have posted about this, but it’s been 8 months now and I like to pay special attention to my healing process.
I know getting over someone who you feel like you truly loved my take an indefinite amount of time which is influenced by an unimaginable amount of factors. But I’m having a one of those days when it really gets to you.
As this is not the first time I’ve had my heart broken by a girl, I was very prepared or at least privy to the long road of loneliness and healing that would await. And even though the familiar shot of adrenaline I used to get from memories that would seamlessly move into my thoughts come few and far between, I find myself longing for her sometimes so much more than I did at the beginning. I feel almost numb to the pain now, but her absence is still very apparent and profound. Almost like my heart no longer stops when something reminds me of her but rather beats much slower for the moment as if time stands still. Obviously this is not a new sensation, I’ve felt this way in the past and I’m sure everyone else has as well.
The thing is… I’ve done everything right in my healing. I focused on school much more than I ever did in second and third year. My GPA is higher than it’s ever been; I’ve solidified my friendships and gotten closer to the people most important to me. I’ve been at the gym with my dad and gotten in great shape and taken on lots of new activities outside school and friends. Overall, I’ve really worked on myself this past 8 months and in any other circumstances I should be very happy. But I’m troubled by this hole she left in my life.
Some days are worse than others. And some are awful. But I’m just feeling so worn out because of my breakup.
Thanks in advance to any similar stories or advice...
Response by poster: Yup, did all those things. They're under the "other activities" category. Except for the casual sex part. That's not my style.
posted by Atlantic at 2:16 AM on May 7, 2011
posted by Atlantic at 2:16 AM on May 7, 2011
Maybe spend less time focusing on your healing process? Staring at and analyzing a scab doesn't help it heal faster and might just make you take more notice of times when it's itchy. You might notice when it looks extra tempting to pick at it.
Just do your thing. Keep going to the gym and doing well at school and letting yourself feel sad when you feel sad. I know it already feels like a great deal of time has passed but more time will pass and you'll feel better.
Sorry, I just don't know any shortcuts.
posted by Neofelis at 2:27 AM on May 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
Just do your thing. Keep going to the gym and doing well at school and letting yourself feel sad when you feel sad. I know it already feels like a great deal of time has passed but more time will pass and you'll feel better.
Sorry, I just don't know any shortcuts.
posted by Neofelis at 2:27 AM on May 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
This might help: http://www.happiness-project.com/
Gretchen Rubin spent a year test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.
posted by b33j at 2:31 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Gretchen Rubin spent a year test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.
posted by b33j at 2:31 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
There's no magical checklist that you complete and suddenly you don't hurt anymore. Kudos for improving your life, that's great, you can and should take a lot of satisfaction in that. Many people don't.
Keep at it and in time it will hurt less and less until one day, you'll realize you hadn't thought about it in a week or a month or a year. It may still hurt a little, but you'll know that you'll be fine.
The only problem you have, in my not knowing you opinion, is that you think you're not healing properly. You are. This thread will probably fill up with people who've felt like you do right now. I have. Take some solace in that shared connection to others too.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 2:31 AM on May 7, 2011
Keep at it and in time it will hurt less and less until one day, you'll realize you hadn't thought about it in a week or a month or a year. It may still hurt a little, but you'll know that you'll be fine.
The only problem you have, in my not knowing you opinion, is that you think you're not healing properly. You are. This thread will probably fill up with people who've felt like you do right now. I have. Take some solace in that shared connection to others too.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 2:31 AM on May 7, 2011
Focus on the ways she was wrong for you. I know I talked through those things with my girlfriends so many times re my ex boyfriend, and eventually realized how little he had to offer me (starting with the fact that he dumped me at the worst possible time of year).
Just keep talking through the mental agony it with your friends (do guys do this?) and let them support you. Spend time with all of the wonderful people in your life who uplift you. The most important part of the process for me was never every seeing my ex in person (or on FB), and no contact with him. That distance *will* help you to heal.
posted by sunnychef88 at 2:34 AM on May 7, 2011
Just keep talking through the mental agony it with your friends (do guys do this?) and let them support you. Spend time with all of the wonderful people in your life who uplift you. The most important part of the process for me was never every seeing my ex in person (or on FB), and no contact with him. That distance *will* help you to heal.
posted by sunnychef88 at 2:34 AM on May 7, 2011
If you've loved someone you'll always love them. You don't get over it. There comes a point though when you're just wallowing in it and you have to get on with your life. There's lots of great girls out there. You'll look back in five years time and think what the hell was I doing. Mooning around too long is going to irritate your friends and leave you lonely. Idealising what you never had is a poor substitute for making the most of the opportunities around you in real life.
posted by joannemullen at 3:05 AM on May 7, 2011 [14 favorites]
posted by joannemullen at 3:05 AM on May 7, 2011 [14 favorites]
There was that day when I could watch myself from the outside, walking from the woodshed to my basement furnace through the slush with a basket of logs, making a sour face that signaled to the cloudy Swedish winter sky that I still was missing my kids who had moved to another country. So I thought, who is to see this face? Not even myself. I'm not signaling anything to anybody. Just quit it.
The point you have to be on the lookout for is when the experience of true sorrow turns into some sort of auto-woe celebration. That's when you'll be able to just step out of it and start living a life. It happens somewhat later than after 8 months.
posted by Namlit at 3:44 AM on May 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
The point you have to be on the lookout for is when the experience of true sorrow turns into some sort of auto-woe celebration. That's when you'll be able to just step out of it and start living a life. It happens somewhat later than after 8 months.
posted by Namlit at 3:44 AM on May 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Maybe the casual sex thing is worth a shot. It could still be on your terms --- doesn't have to fit the stereotype of being drunken/thoughtless/risky/etc.
Short of that --- I don't see dating on the list of things you've tried.
Short of that--if you're not ready to date, you could try being open to being interested in someone else.
posted by vitabellosi at 3:47 AM on May 7, 2011
Short of that --- I don't see dating on the list of things you've tried.
Short of that--if you're not ready to date, you could try being open to being interested in someone else.
posted by vitabellosi at 3:47 AM on May 7, 2011
Have you tried antidepressants? Losing a lover puts your brain through a chemical process similar to withdrawal from a cocaine addiction, and medication can often help take the edge off while your brain adjusts. Here is an interesting article on the science of love.
posted by Jacqueline at 3:49 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Jacqueline at 3:49 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Looking at the history of questions you posted about her, then re-reading this question, I found myself thinking, "wow, this guy has Got.To.Move.On." I realize that is not helpful and "how to move on" is exactly what you're trying to figure out.
But what strikes me is the constant attitude of self-abasement in your history with her. You loved her, she never said she loved you, and you stuck around for months and months waiting for her to love you, and finally she dumped you, and you still can't get over her. I really think the only cure for this is to energetically and methodically assert yourself on the dating market. There is no way in hell this girl is The One for you. And yet, you seem content to wallow, rather humiliatingly, in memories of the woman who was never really and fully there for you. Getting back out there, pushing yourself into dating, and finding and enjoying a panoply of options would very possibly get you out of this rut of self-abasement.
I get the sense, reading between the lines of this question and the others about her, that you don't fully respect yourself. You seem to believe you need a woman (this woman) to complete you. I suspect that, if you were to work on self-sufficiency as an end in itself, with dating and learning that you are attractive and have sexual/romantic options independent of her as part of this project of self-sufficiency, that you would gradually see how, well, silly it was to fixate so fully on this one woman who wasn't right for you.
I really believe that many women find men more attractive when there's a little bit held back, not as game playing, but more as a way of signaling "I have options, I have a life outside of you, you're not my whole world." A man who goes "all in," especially before the woman does, may paradoxically turn her off by being less intriguing, less of a challenge, and seem like less of a catch.
I susoect you are very earnest, very rational, a very quality guy, but I think you've given yourself short shrift in terms of investing in yourself as a confident, capable, powerful, self-sufficient guy. Work on not needing a woman (especially this woman) to complete you, and when you sycceed at that, paradoxically you may attract the woman who does complete you.
posted by jayder at 5:20 AM on May 7, 2011 [11 favorites]
But what strikes me is the constant attitude of self-abasement in your history with her. You loved her, she never said she loved you, and you stuck around for months and months waiting for her to love you, and finally she dumped you, and you still can't get over her. I really think the only cure for this is to energetically and methodically assert yourself on the dating market. There is no way in hell this girl is The One for you. And yet, you seem content to wallow, rather humiliatingly, in memories of the woman who was never really and fully there for you. Getting back out there, pushing yourself into dating, and finding and enjoying a panoply of options would very possibly get you out of this rut of self-abasement.
I get the sense, reading between the lines of this question and the others about her, that you don't fully respect yourself. You seem to believe you need a woman (this woman) to complete you. I suspect that, if you were to work on self-sufficiency as an end in itself, with dating and learning that you are attractive and have sexual/romantic options independent of her as part of this project of self-sufficiency, that you would gradually see how, well, silly it was to fixate so fully on this one woman who wasn't right for you.
I really believe that many women find men more attractive when there's a little bit held back, not as game playing, but more as a way of signaling "I have options, I have a life outside of you, you're not my whole world." A man who goes "all in," especially before the woman does, may paradoxically turn her off by being less intriguing, less of a challenge, and seem like less of a catch.
I susoect you are very earnest, very rational, a very quality guy, but I think you've given yourself short shrift in terms of investing in yourself as a confident, capable, powerful, self-sufficient guy. Work on not needing a woman (especially this woman) to complete you, and when you sycceed at that, paradoxically you may attract the woman who does complete you.
posted by jayder at 5:20 AM on May 7, 2011 [11 favorites]
Universal good advice, I think:
Don't define yourself by your tragedies.
Perhaps you should define yourself by what seems to be a goddamned good palette of characteristics most sane people would like to have a small portion of. No offense meant, man, but one girl? Derailing your frigging life? For more than a month or two, at your age?
What are you going to do when something really bad happens? Be Christopher Reeves.
Girl, however nice she was, is just one of 6.5 billion planet mates. Put her in proper perspective. Is she really worth you giving up your life to mourning?
posted by FauxScot at 5:51 AM on May 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Don't define yourself by your tragedies.
Perhaps you should define yourself by what seems to be a goddamned good palette of characteristics most sane people would like to have a small portion of. No offense meant, man, but one girl? Derailing your frigging life? For more than a month or two, at your age?
What are you going to do when something really bad happens? Be Christopher Reeves.
Girl, however nice she was, is just one of 6.5 billion planet mates. Put her in proper perspective. Is she really worth you giving up your life to mourning?
posted by FauxScot at 5:51 AM on May 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Some people are just happierin a relationship. In fact, I think most people are happier in a relationship. You sound like you did the same things I did. What really worked was finding someone new who was better for me. The sucky part about finding someone new is that it might take a while. But I think you should try dating. Get on ok Cupid or do speed dating and just meet as many women as you can.
posted by bananafish at 6:20 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by bananafish at 6:20 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Shot in the dark - have you not had a lot of relationship experience? I'm wondering if part of this is fear of moving on because you (incorrectly) believe that you'll never find anyone that awesome again.
Also seconding that you should get out there and start dating. In a way, dating sucks if what you really want is to be in a relationship, but there's no getting around that. And finding someone new to be excited about definitely helps put an old flame in perspective.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:59 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also seconding that you should get out there and start dating. In a way, dating sucks if what you really want is to be in a relationship, but there's no getting around that. And finding someone new to be excited about definitely helps put an old flame in perspective.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:59 AM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Gotta say jayder has some good advice.
I've been in your shoes, as have so many different people. It does suck.
It seems like your are doing good things (getting good school marks, working out, ect.). Just keep going out and meeting new people. What you are feeling now will slowly dissolve and you will look back wondering why you even mopped around.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, you just need to put yourself out there.
posted by handbanana at 10:27 AM on May 7, 2011
I've been in your shoes, as have so many different people. It does suck.
It seems like your are doing good things (getting good school marks, working out, ect.). Just keep going out and meeting new people. What you are feeling now will slowly dissolve and you will look back wondering why you even mopped around.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, you just need to put yourself out there.
posted by handbanana at 10:27 AM on May 7, 2011
Have you started dating again? If not, do it. Even if you are not completely over her, do it.
I had a very intense relationship end around age 22. It was your typical first love. We thought we would be together forever.
I took a whole year to recover and even then I still wasn't over him. I was convinced I would never find someone who was as perfect for me as him, that I would never find someone I loved as much and who would love me as much. But I was mostly ready to try dating again, so I did. At first it was a little rocky, as I was always comparing my dates to him and that was hard. Eventually I fell in love with someone new, though it wasn't as intense or serious. But it made me mostly forget about him as I got wrapped up in the new person. That eventually ended as well.
A couple years later, after the thing with the second person had ended and I was single again, first love and I crossed paths and I found out about how he had moved on into another serious relationship very soon after our relationship ended. It really hurt me, even after all that time, which really surprised me. But then, after mourning again for a little while, I found I was able to let it go. For good. After that, I dated around some more and eventually fell in love with someone else in a huge, wonderful way, just as much as I had with the original first love. Now he and I have broken up and suddenly it's now this guy that I'll never get over and that no guy will ever compare to. Do you see the pattern here?
Now, if I ran into that first love on the street, it wouldn't bother me one bit. I would have a pleasant conversation with him and forget about him by the end of the day.
The point is not that if you move on you are guaranteed to find another person. There are no guarantees. And I'm definitely not trying to belittle your feelings of deep love for this particular person. Trust me, my heart ached with such deep sorrow for that first love for so long. But for me, since that first love was also the only person I had ever been with, dating again was a necessary part of the healing process. It showed me that there are other people I can love and other people who can love me. Some things you can't believe until you experience them.
And yes, sometimes these things can take a very long time. Be gentle with yourself. Feel free to MeMail if you need to talk.
posted by unannihilated at 10:33 AM on May 7, 2011 [7 favorites]
I had a very intense relationship end around age 22. It was your typical first love. We thought we would be together forever.
I took a whole year to recover and even then I still wasn't over him. I was convinced I would never find someone who was as perfect for me as him, that I would never find someone I loved as much and who would love me as much. But I was mostly ready to try dating again, so I did. At first it was a little rocky, as I was always comparing my dates to him and that was hard. Eventually I fell in love with someone new, though it wasn't as intense or serious. But it made me mostly forget about him as I got wrapped up in the new person. That eventually ended as well.
A couple years later, after the thing with the second person had ended and I was single again, first love and I crossed paths and I found out about how he had moved on into another serious relationship very soon after our relationship ended. It really hurt me, even after all that time, which really surprised me. But then, after mourning again for a little while, I found I was able to let it go. For good. After that, I dated around some more and eventually fell in love with someone else in a huge, wonderful way, just as much as I had with the original first love. Now he and I have broken up and suddenly it's now this guy that I'll never get over and that no guy will ever compare to. Do you see the pattern here?
Now, if I ran into that first love on the street, it wouldn't bother me one bit. I would have a pleasant conversation with him and forget about him by the end of the day.
The point is not that if you move on you are guaranteed to find another person. There are no guarantees. And I'm definitely not trying to belittle your feelings of deep love for this particular person. Trust me, my heart ached with such deep sorrow for that first love for so long. But for me, since that first love was also the only person I had ever been with, dating again was a necessary part of the healing process. It showed me that there are other people I can love and other people who can love me. Some things you can't believe until you experience them.
And yes, sometimes these things can take a very long time. Be gentle with yourself. Feel free to MeMail if you need to talk.
posted by unannihilated at 10:33 AM on May 7, 2011 [7 favorites]
The thing is… I’ve done everything right in my healing. I focused on school much more than I ever did in second and third year. My GPA is higher than it’s ever been; I’ve solidified my friendships and gotten closer to the people most important to me. I’ve been at the gym with my dad and gotten in great shape and taken on lots of new activities outside school and friends.
This is all great stuff to be doing, but you must understand it is diversionary. Diversion is most certainly useful as a means of helping deal with heartbreak - or any other sort of life trauma - but it diverts, it doesn't cure. The thing I found most useful in dealing with my marital break-up was to accept that I wasn't ever going to fully "get over it". It was a major wound, and like all major wounds, it left a scar that won't ever disappear. I learned to accept that scar and just assimilate it into my being. There it is, along with my mutant left earlobe, my bad teeth, my flat feet and my receding hairline. I copped some flak and now I am no longer the person I was before I copped that flak. Now I have a big old scar. It's never going to disappear, so I have to accept it. And once you can do that, you can move on. Your scar will go with you, but it will throb less and less as time passes. And sooner or later some nice person may kiss it better.
posted by Decani at 11:43 AM on May 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
This is all great stuff to be doing, but you must understand it is diversionary. Diversion is most certainly useful as a means of helping deal with heartbreak - or any other sort of life trauma - but it diverts, it doesn't cure. The thing I found most useful in dealing with my marital break-up was to accept that I wasn't ever going to fully "get over it". It was a major wound, and like all major wounds, it left a scar that won't ever disappear. I learned to accept that scar and just assimilate it into my being. There it is, along with my mutant left earlobe, my bad teeth, my flat feet and my receding hairline. I copped some flak and now I am no longer the person I was before I copped that flak. Now I have a big old scar. It's never going to disappear, so I have to accept it. And once you can do that, you can move on. Your scar will go with you, but it will throb less and less as time passes. And sooner or later some nice person may kiss it better.
posted by Decani at 11:43 AM on May 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Being completely over it will probably never happen. The best thing to do is work on different aspects at a time (you've already been doing this) and accept that the pain will come and go.
I left a 14 year relationship/marriage last year (which means it lasted my entire adult life). One of the things I've found is that the pain and loneliness were much worse when I was... alone. You may not be ready to date, but you won't know unless you try. I started dating a few months ago, it was a good distraction but at the same time I wasn't quite ready. So I put it on hold a couple more months and am trying again, so far so good.
The key is not to think of it as trying to find a replacement exactly -- you won't, both in the sense that if you do find a great person they'll be different, and in the sense that it takes a while to build that kind of connection.
But having someone new to focus on and think about can be really, really helpful. Much harder to be depressed and mopey when there's someone new in your life (especially if you're a "relationship person"). The hard part is getting started --- depressed and mopey isn't conducive to getting out there (online, in person, whatever).
Also, don't worry about other people. They all have their own issues, and as long as you're not setting out to hurt people, it's OK to not be 100% sure if you're ready. You may find out you are, you may not. You may think you are and then it turns out _they_ are not. Etc.
(I'm talking about actual dating -- I'm also not a casual sex person, and I agree that if you're not wired for that it doesn't help)
posted by wildcrdj at 12:10 PM on May 7, 2011
I left a 14 year relationship/marriage last year (which means it lasted my entire adult life). One of the things I've found is that the pain and loneliness were much worse when I was... alone. You may not be ready to date, but you won't know unless you try. I started dating a few months ago, it was a good distraction but at the same time I wasn't quite ready. So I put it on hold a couple more months and am trying again, so far so good.
The key is not to think of it as trying to find a replacement exactly -- you won't, both in the sense that if you do find a great person they'll be different, and in the sense that it takes a while to build that kind of connection.
But having someone new to focus on and think about can be really, really helpful. Much harder to be depressed and mopey when there's someone new in your life (especially if you're a "relationship person"). The hard part is getting started --- depressed and mopey isn't conducive to getting out there (online, in person, whatever).
Also, don't worry about other people. They all have their own issues, and as long as you're not setting out to hurt people, it's OK to not be 100% sure if you're ready. You may find out you are, you may not. You may think you are and then it turns out _they_ are not. Etc.
(I'm talking about actual dating -- I'm also not a casual sex person, and I agree that if you're not wired for that it doesn't help)
posted by wildcrdj at 12:10 PM on May 7, 2011
Response by poster: As said above: I don't think my life has been "de-railed" in any sense, just tripped up a little. I am very glad to have my life on tract and that makes me very happy some days.
And I've also tried the whole dating thing. Well maybe not tried but at least attempted to get a date. The thing is, the last few ladies that I have tried to get a date with in the last 8 months (more so the last few months when I've felt ready) have all been taken.
Too be honest, that was really discouraging. It won't stop me from trying but it's awfully annoying hearing a girl whom you’re attracted to tell you she has a wonderful boyfriend.
And yes I have had some bad relationships. Dealing with a functioning drug abuser, party girl who cheated etc etc. I don’t know, maybe I do feel a little afraid? There were a lot of undesirable traits that my ex had that I am happy do away with, that’s why I’m so confused as to why I’m still bothered by it.
I feel like I'm just complaining now. I don't really talk about it much with people any more as I feel they think it's been long enough. But that's why I came here. No one too judgmental for the most part.
posted by Atlantic at 3:48 PM on May 7, 2011
And I've also tried the whole dating thing. Well maybe not tried but at least attempted to get a date. The thing is, the last few ladies that I have tried to get a date with in the last 8 months (more so the last few months when I've felt ready) have all been taken.
Too be honest, that was really discouraging. It won't stop me from trying but it's awfully annoying hearing a girl whom you’re attracted to tell you she has a wonderful boyfriend.
And yes I have had some bad relationships. Dealing with a functioning drug abuser, party girl who cheated etc etc. I don’t know, maybe I do feel a little afraid? There were a lot of undesirable traits that my ex had that I am happy do away with, that’s why I’m so confused as to why I’m still bothered by it.
I feel like I'm just complaining now. I don't really talk about it much with people any more as I feel they think it's been long enough. But that's why I came here. No one too judgmental for the most part.
posted by Atlantic at 3:48 PM on May 7, 2011
You've done all the right things. Keep doing them. Time is the greatest healer---a cliche because it's true. Try not to analyze your feelings i.e. "Am I happy? Am I FINALLY getting over her?" Take each day as it comes. The world may be all shades of grey for now, but take it from many others who have experienced what you are going through----one day this will change, into a technicolor world of wonders again. Don't think that you yourself must create this technicolor. It will come.
One of the best ways to make this necessary time pass faster is to focus on other people---not just potential dating partners, but all other people of all ages and roles. It sounds corny, but if every day you go a bit out of your way to help someone, in a large or a small way, it doesn't matter---you will find yourself just a bit happier. Do this every day and it will accrue.
This too will pass, Atlantic.
----Mother of four grown children, all happily married
posted by ragtimepiano at 8:52 PM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
One of the best ways to make this necessary time pass faster is to focus on other people---not just potential dating partners, but all other people of all ages and roles. It sounds corny, but if every day you go a bit out of your way to help someone, in a large or a small way, it doesn't matter---you will find yourself just a bit happier. Do this every day and it will accrue.
This too will pass, Atlantic.
----Mother of four grown children, all happily married
posted by ragtimepiano at 8:52 PM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Well maybe not tried but at least attempted to get a date."
Try online dating. Everyone on those sites is explicitly looking to meet someone to date.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:25 PM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Try online dating. Everyone on those sites is explicitly looking to meet someone to date.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:25 PM on May 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
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posted by Chrysalis at 2:07 AM on May 7, 2011 [3 favorites]