We don't want to crack the wedding bells!
March 14, 2011 12:58 PM   Subscribe

I’m getting married this Saturday, and I’m certain I’m going to forget something or mess something up. Can you give me some advice? What things did you forget about, mess up, or learn from during your experience?

I’m really looking for any thing here, from “We forgot to eat that day and were starving by the reception” to “I didn’t realize I should have done my makeup a certain way for the cameras”. I’ll give you some details about my wedding so your advice is more useful, but feel free to skip if it bores you:

I’m marrying Mr. Supercres this Saturday, March 19th, in Old City, Philadelphia, PA. It looks like it’s going to be a sunny day, with an expected high of 60 degrees. We’re doing the whole thing in a restaurant (Farmicia, to be exact), and it starts at 5:30pm with a cocktail hour. The ceremony will be after that, then dinner, then dancing. We are not doing a cake. There is a large menu (their normal dinner menu, pretty much) and table service. Our friend is DJing. Another friend is officiating. ANOTHER friend is doing the flowers. I have a lot of wonderful friends, and they are definitely getting paid/gifts. My first appointment of the day is my hair at 11am, then I’m going someplace else to get my makeup done at 1pm. I’m bringing my mom and a friend for those appointments. My fiance’s family will be staying at a hotel the weekend of the wedding, and I’ll be getting ready there. At around 1pm, I plan to eat lunch. The photographer and his assistant is arriving at the hotel at 2pm, and he’ll start shooting the “getting ready” shots. Around three, we’ll start doing the family portraits and wedding portraits. We don’t have a wedding party. Mr. Supercres will be attending the cocktail hour, and I’ll arrive and make my entrance as the ceremony begins. My dad is walking me up the aisle. The restaurant has graciously agreed to create rows of chairs through the dining room (and push aside tables), so the guests will be sitting either in rows of two or three. We plan to reserve seating at the front for the people who are participating in the wedding, and for extended family members. Our immediate family members will be at tables on either side of us during the ceremony. The ceremony will consist of two short readings, a short opening, our own written vows, and a ring exchange. After that, there is normal dinner. After dinner, we are doing the bride and groom dance and a combined parent dance, and then two of our friends are doing toasts. Then, all out dancing. There will also be a homemade photo booth set up, complete with a DSLR and a laptop.

OK, that’s all I think I can give you! So, what will I forget? What will I regret? What other advice can you give us? What are some things I can do to keep calm in these next 6 days?

Thanks!
posted by two lights above the sea to Grab Bag (81 answers total) 32 users marked this as a favorite
 
I wish that I had put on just a little eyeliner or something for pictures. I don't generally wear makeup and wanted to be true to myself and go very minimal. It would have been better if I had at least put on some very subtle eyeliner. My eyes get lost behind my glasses. I'm sure that your makeup artist will know this, though!

The one thing that I *highly* recommend is having someone shadow you through the day. Make sure they have a snack in waiting for you, a water bottle, something to write a note in if you need it, a watch, a working phone, breath mints and a sewing kit. The only job this person has is to keep you company and be there for any last minute emergencies. This is usually done by one of your bridesmaid's but since you don't have one, recruit!
posted by stoneweaver at 1:04 PM on March 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


My advice is: Let it all go. Unexpected things will happen. You'll walk into the restaurant and they will set up things differently than you imagined, or the flowers will look different than you thought, or the ceremony will be longer than you thought. Let it all go. Don't run around like a crazy person on your wedding day )or even the day before) making all the little stuff happened. If it's not ready at that point, you have to let it all go and have fun! Enjoy!

Another small piece of advice: You might want to eat lunch before you have your makeup done. Or at least have the makeup artist provide your with your lip color so you can touch up after you eat.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:04 PM on March 14, 2011 [20 favorites]


Sounds like you have it down, and congratulations!

My only advice is don't do a facial or anything weird/different product-wise to your face for at least 48 hours beforehand... a friend had a pretty bad post-facial allergic reaction and was less than pleased with her wedding pics.
posted by cyndigo at 1:04 PM on March 14, 2011


My advice to you would be to just go with it.

I never saw the topper on my cake as it fell off and broke before we arrived.
The napkins we picked out weren't used and we didn't notice until they called a week later saying they still had them.
I didn't like my flowers.
The DJ was so crappy he didn't have the music for our requested first dance together and my husband had to rush home to get my CD.
It rained the night before and a giant hatching of mayflies were on EVERYTHING.

And I didn't care. I woke up that morning and didn't care about the details anymore. I realized I was surrounded by my favorite people who were they because they loved me and loved my husband and wanted to share our day with us. I was dressed in a gorgeous dress and I was getting married to the one I loved. After that, all things are just unnecessary details.

Do you think my guests cared that the personalized napkins weren't used or that the topper fell off the cake? No. They *did* care if there were snacks and drinks for the long wait between our ceremony and dinner.

I was out on the dance floor the whole night dancing with whoever would dance with me. I only wished I had stopped at each table to thank them for coming.

tl;dr - Will you be there? Will he be there? You will be surrounded by people who love you and want to be there. That's all that matters. Enjoy the day.
posted by jillithd at 1:07 PM on March 14, 2011 [11 favorites]


As much as possible give the 'big things not to forget' to your Mom/Girlfriend/Bridesmaid.

Then forget about it. Let them handle it and just enjoy the day!
posted by filmgeek at 1:07 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!

If there are any day-of payments that need to be made, delegate that responsibility (along with a check filled out except for the amount) to a trusted someone to give to the restaurant or whomever needs paying.

Eat something an hour or two beforehand. It doesn't have to be a huge amount of food, but something with a little protein will help. I hardly got to eat after our ceremony because we were so busy talking to people.

There was stuff that didn't go *exactly* as we had planned it, but I don't really remember the details anymore, and no one at the time seemed to care about anything except being happy for us. Relax, breathe, and yes, let go.

tl;dr - Will you be there? Will he be there? You will be surrounded by people who love you and want to be there. That's all that matters. Enjoy the day.

That. Exactly that.
posted by rtha at 1:08 PM on March 14, 2011


Have something to eat beforehand because while all the guests are in eating appetizers you'll be hanging out taking pictures.

Drink water. Stay hydrated.

Mostly I was amazed at how much happened without my input. For some reason I thought I was going to have to direct things (I mean, someone has to, right?) but it seemed between the caterer, the DJ, and the minister they all had everything under control.

Don't forget to have fun. It's your day. Let shit happen.
posted by bondcliff at 1:10 PM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


Have a place set up for cards and presents. We got married out of country, five hours' flight at a minimum for any of our guests, and we still got a bunch of cards and small presents the day of.

Get the DJ friend to test out whatever sound setup is being used before the big show, preferably with enough time to work out any issues.

I think you may like to have a buddy along as stoneweaver suggests, especially when everyone else is enjoying cocktails and you're hiding backstage.

We set up a flickr pool to share all the guest's wedding pics.

And seconding everyone that says "relax and enjoy it".
posted by flipper at 1:10 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Are you spending your wedding night at the hotel? I'd recommend spending the night somewhere other than home so you get that honeymoon feeling afterwards.

My sister forgot her bouquet on her wedding day. My photographer was a pain in the ass. Neither of those things mattered at all. It's all about you and your groom-to-be, and having fun!

So I'd just second not planning too much for right before the wedding, giving yourself a little space and time as a cushion against unexpected glitches, and not fixating on the whole thing being "perfect".

Which it sounds like you have under control already.

Congratulations!
posted by misha at 1:11 PM on March 14, 2011


Put deodorant between your thighs and behind your knees -- those dresses are HEAVY.

Give yourself more time that you think you need for hair, makeup and photos.

Do whatever you can the night before to relax and have a good sleep. If you're anything like me, your nerves will be wracked and being tired only makes it worse.

Champagne does wonders for nerves.

Bring bandaids in your handbag if you're wearing new shoes.

If you're not having a bridal party, give the rings to your hubby to hold onto (including your engagement ring since the wedding band is supposed to go on first).

Even when things go wrong, it WILL be the best day ever.

Bring a mini bottle of hairspray just in case.

Congratulations :)
posted by Cat Face at 1:11 PM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


Wear your wedding underwear and a button down shirt to your hair and make-up appointments. It seems like a given, but with everything else going on you might forget. I've been the bridesmaid who cut the t-shirt off the bride.

Eat breakfast, even if it's just toast. Eat lunch, even if it's just PB&J. If you've already had your makeup done at least have a smoothie.
posted by TooFewShoes at 1:12 PM on March 14, 2011 [7 favorites]


Make sure that both of you show up, and that there are "coaches" in the wedding party to steer you both when/if you have brain failure during the ceremony.

Make sure that somebody else is your general once you begin things; you're going to be too busy schmoozing with guests to deal with any last-minute crises.

Also, the time to start stress-drinking is before the reception, not during the wedding OR reception. Trust me on this.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 1:13 PM on March 14, 2011


Can you give me some advice?

Roll with it. In a year, look back on it and laugh.
posted by mhoye at 1:17 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wear your wedding underwear and a button down shirt to your hair and make-up appointments.

Oh my god - I came in to mention these exact two things. I had to have my turtleneck cut off me after my hair was done; and I locked my special must-wear-to-make-the-dress-work bra in the car.

Also, my husband did not realize the cleaner's closed at noon on Saturday and so was unable to pick up his suit.

In the end, none of it mattered. But since you asked....
posted by anastasiav at 1:20 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Go to bed early, and take some sort of sleeping aid if you think you need it. I slept HORRIBLY the night before my wedding (combination of a nervous stomach, anxiety, and a very drunk guy stumbling into my hotel room), had to get up early, and felt crappy because of it. Wear sunscreen everywhere that will be exposed if you're doing photos outside. Bring a handheld fan, dancing in a wedding dress might leave you very warm. Have snacks handy, you'll probably feel too busy to eat but you don't want to get shaky from low blood sugar right before the ceremony. Bring flat shoes. I wore my heels for two hours of pictures before the ceremony, and my feet ached terribly through the ceremony (my toes were completely numb). Make sure a friend or family member has the phone numbers for the photographer, restaurant, etc. Give the officiant copies of your vows in case you forget to bring them. Ask the restaurant to send some leftovers with you, especially easy to eat things like dinner rolls - I barely ate anything at the ceremony, then was starving and had to order room service at the hotel. Make sure to drink water, especially if you're also drinking alcohol, and don't get embarrassingly drunk. Figure out what you're going to do with your bouquet during your vows and ring exchange since you're not having attendants. It might be too late for this, but I would recommend asking somebody to record the ceremony. I was dead set against a videographer (how narcissistic would it be to re-watch my own wedding?) but because of nerves I barely remembered the ceremony, even right after it was over. You can just have someone set up a camera on a tripod, you don't need an actual wedding videographer. And of course, the perennial advice to go with the flow and enjoy yourself! In hindsight you won't remember/won't care about the little things that go wrong, which of course they will!
posted by Safiya at 1:20 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Comfortable shoes are a must - if you have a pretty pair for pictures that you can't dance in, get a pair of comfy flats (I've even seen converses with real lace strung through as laces to keep it "bridal") - no one has to know, but it's a shame to miss dancing because of sore feet.

Expect that at least one thing you consider relatively important will go wrong. You can't plan for it, you just have to roll with it. Chances are, snafus will be minor, but going into the day assuming there will 100% be something that goes wrong will make it easier for you to handle whatever does come without stressing out as much.

Designate a food person. Someone who makes a plate of whatever appetizers, desserts, etc, for you and your spouse, and makes sure you have the chance to eat it -- it is almost impossible to eat at your own wedding; they take your plate away, people pull you aside, there are photographs, whatever, and having someone who knows this and goes out of their way to get food to you (or even just guards your plate until you return) can come in handy.

Safety pins. Put a couple inside your dress where you can get to them in case of needing one in a hurry.
posted by Mchelly at 1:23 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


What are some things I can do to keep calm in these next 6 days?

People aren't machine, so expecting everything to be perfect may be shooting too high. In the end, it's just one day in a marriage, so don't sweat it too much. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:23 PM on March 14, 2011


In the "roll with it" column: My parents got into a moderately serious car accident on the way to their wedding when their limo got t-boned by some geriatric in a pickup truck. They were left on the side of the road dealing with insurance and the cops in the humid heat of July in Chicago as all their friends and family drove past on the way to the venue.

30 years and two fairly functional sons later they're still married and happy as ever, as far as I can tell.
posted by Aizkolari at 1:24 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Straws. For drinking out of after you get your makeup done, if you don't want to mess up the lipstick.

Snacks.

If, at the end of the day, you end up married to the person you wanted to get married to, the wedding was a success.

Congrats!
posted by kellygrape at 1:26 PM on March 14, 2011


Delegate.
posted by Bango Skank at 1:27 PM on March 14, 2011


Definitely don't forget the marriage license. That was a sticking point at a friend's wedding. It was thankfully found at the hotel about 30 meetings before the ceremony.

Otherwise just let go and enjoy yourself and your friends and family. So much of this is out of your control that you couldn't possibly deal with everything that could go wrong. Case in point, the woman baking our cakes drop some of them down a flight of stairs the day before our wedding. We had less elegant replacement cakes in time for the wedding and the lady was super upset about the situation but really, what could I do to prevent such a thing from happening?
posted by mmascolino at 1:27 PM on March 14, 2011


Don't slouch in your wedding photos. Other than that, all went well.

Oh, and make sure you can get into your dress/you have someone designated to help you that can see you undressed. I had a zipper issue that required pliers!
posted by the young rope-rider at 1:29 PM on March 14, 2011


I might just be very dumb, but it completely escaped my attention that I was going to have to decide what degree of making out to commit in front of a few of my best friends. (This was city-hall-style.) Never occurred to me for some reason, and my friend snapped a great "OH NO!" picture when I realized what was about to happen.
posted by lauranesson at 1:30 PM on March 14, 2011


Have a straw to use when drinking before the ceremony, you don't want to dribble on your dress. Water spots look odd on a dress.
I worked as an assist a wedding photographer, you might want to start getting ready before they arrive, then get pics done of finishing touches, instead of every move you make getting dressed.
Ask someone else to be in charge of "issues" as they come up, you should not have to make decisions on little details as they arise, give that duty to a friend.

Enjoy your day, sounds like a nice wedding! Congratulation!
posted by jennstra at 1:30 PM on March 14, 2011


If you're not having a bridal party, give the rings to your hubby to hold onto (including your engagement ring since the wedding band is supposed to go on first).

The traditional way to do this is to shift the engagement ring to the right hand just for the ceremony and then shift it back to the left (outside the wedding band) afterwards or to not wear it at all. Your husband and/or best man already has plenty of rings to worry about!

A list of who is supposed to get flowers (boutonnières, bouquets, etc.) is helpful. Whoever is handing out the flowers is frequently not one of the people who was involved in ordering them and deciding who would wear them, so they should have a list.

If the groomsmen normally carry heavy cell phones, they don't all need to carry them for the whole wedding. Their suit jackets and/or pants will likely hang better if they don't.
posted by Jahaza at 1:31 PM on March 14, 2011


Do NOT lock your knees standing up there. You'll pass out if you're standing there with them locked long enough. (I did not do this, because Mr. F was in Civil Air Patrol as a teenager and had already had that lesson drilled into his head.)
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 1:31 PM on March 14, 2011


Good point about the flowers, also make sure the person passing them out assists with putting them on and have them make sure they are all put on the correct lapel. Looks odd to have them every which way.
posted by jennstra at 1:33 PM on March 14, 2011


Try to remember why you're doing this - it's not to show off your event organising skills, right? It's celebrating the life you and your partner are going to have together with people you love. Therefore if anything goes "wrong", or isn't as you planned, don't fret, the reason people are there is not because they're expecting a fantastic party, they're there because they love you. Everything else is gravy. (If they don't love you, and they're there because of family politics, they don't matter).

So everytime you get stressed, take a deep breath and say something like "it doesn't matter how this turns out because everyone is coming because they love me".

Okay?

Honestly, whether you were wearing satin or a sack on a day, your joy will be shining through, because you're marrying him, and the people in the pews will be wiping tears off their faces because of the way you look at each other, not because of how you look.

Have a wonderful day, anyhow.
posted by b33j at 1:35 PM on March 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


The day will go by so amazingly fast that I suggest you concentrate on really enjoying and noting the moments. As much as possible try to experience things in slow motion, because they're over so quickly.
posted by odinsdream at 1:36 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


The biggest advice is to just to roll with it & enjoy (mentioned a million times above).

The second biggest thing I learned is to tell people -- your mom, friends, etc, not to worry too much if something isn't the way you planned. I'm a huge planner. I planned everything for my wedding. And our wedding cake was missing one of our toppers. (We had bought handmade glass bugs -- a spider and an ant; the ant never made it. It was wrapped in tissue in a box with the spider, and we think the baker just accidentally threw it away.) This was fine; by the time we got to the reception, I didn't care. It was funny and completely dismissed.

BUT my mom acted like she thought that I was going to be completely distraught. I don't have any pictures of her at the reception where she looks happy. She's either worried or blank (I'm not sure which is worse). She says that she just wanted my day to be perfect, which may be true. I just regret that she didn't seem to enjoy herself at all. Tell your parents/major supporters to be happy at the reception & that no matter what happens the only thing that matters to you is marrying this guy with your loved ones there. You will get through the hiccups (they will happen), but you just want to have a great party to celebrate your love. (And it sounds like a great party!) Nothing will bring you down that day.
posted by Kronur at 1:41 PM on March 14, 2011


If there's any jewelry that you want to wear, have someone in charge of that. Easy to forget, and shockingly hard to find after you do forget it. (hint: check the glovebox.)
posted by punchtothehead at 1:42 PM on March 14, 2011


Again, "roll with it." Weddings are a lot like theater -- there's a whole set of specific things that are "supposed" to happen, but there's also a whole lot of nerves and anxiousness around the whole production, and when you put those two things together Shit Happens. When I was more active in stage managing, I took the attitude of the Navajo women who made blankets -- I read somewhere that they considered it bad luck to make a 100% perfect blanket because only God can be perfect, so they put some little mistake in on purpose. Somehow that made me embrace accidents -- I decided my job wasn't to prevent accidents or problems entirely, but just to make sure that the mistakes that happened were so small that no one noticed. I'd wait for a tiny thing to go wrong, and then when that happened, I told myself that we'd had our "Official Mistake" for the show and I could relax a little.

As for weddings, at the weddings I've been to, here's the stuff that's happened:

* A busker showed up out of nowhere at a wedding in Central Park and spontaneously offered to do some music.

* A breeze blew up in the middle of my brother's wedding and my sister-in-law's veil kept on flying up and over her face.

* Also at my brother's wedding -- the winds picked up as the ceremony went on, and apparently, I was the only person anyone in the audience could hear speaking. (I studied acting, and used my Stage Voice. Which can be VERY loud.)

* The bride at an Orthodox Jewish wedding I went to had such a long train that during a point where she was supposed to walk in a circle around her groom seven times, she got so tangled up around him that neither one could move and the bridesmaids had to unwind her.

* At one of my cousin's weddings, her brother was doing the music, but got so giddily distracted by the "whoa cool my big sister's getting married" factor that he spaced out and totally forgot his cue for the recessional music.

* At one of my friend's weddings, her mother did the cooking -- a barbecue in the back yard -- only some of the corn was a little "off" and a couple people came down with very mild food poisoning. (The only way I know it was food poisoning rather than "got a little too drunk" was that I was one of them, and I hadn't been drinking -- but I did have the corn.)

* Another friend confessed to me the day before her wedding that they hadn't gotten the weddings licenses signed officially, because they'd hit traffic on the way to the courthouse, so the whole ceremony was just going to be "for show". She swore me to secrecy until the following week. She and her husband weren't technically married until the day after they returned from their honeymoon and could go sign the licenses.

Although -- the absolute, hands-down, best wedding disaster story I've ever heard was from a Robert Fulghum book, where he tells the story of a huge lavish wedding with tons of flower girls and bridesmaids and a string section and all sorts of finery, and just after everyone had filed in and they were getting ready to start the ceremony, the bride -- who'd been nibbling at the reception food and then had a glass of champagne her father gave her to "calm her nerves" -- projectile vomited all over the front of the church and then passed out.

He goes on to say that after a rather chaotic several minutes of trying to control things, they called a time-out, relocated to the church basement, and someone cleaned the bride up and loaned her an extra bridesmaid dress, and they just had the wedding like that instead. He then says that he was invited to that couple's tenth-anniversary party -- where they had a special screening of the wedding video, complete with slo-mo footage of the puke. And the bride was laughing harder than anyone.

Accept that things will go wrong, and understand that the people who are there watching are there because they love you, and you'll be fine.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:42 PM on March 14, 2011 [5 favorites]


nthing the 'roll with it' advice.
I forgot to put on an undershirt because I was nervous. The Mrs. forgot all her jewelry and didn't remember to take off her watch. The flowers were wrong. The crappy DVD we paid for featured me squeezing the Mrs. on the butt while we were on the way out of the "chapel," and we didn't notice that before we showed it to my parents.
After the wedding, she also spilled a beer on our marriage certificate (we eloped to Vegas and hit a bar first thing). Two years later, those are all fond memories.
posted by Gilbert at 1:47 PM on March 14, 2011


nthing the Let it Go advice. And I suggest taking it a step further and at some point during the day - possibly after the makeup is on and you are about to get dressed, stop and take 10 minutes to be all by yourself and think about how awesome it is that all of your friends and family are with you on this wonderful day. Really take it all in and make a conscious decision to let everything go. Delegate someone as the decision maker from that point forward and tell them you won't get mad over anything they decide (hell, you probably won't even realize if anything changes except for maybe a groom substitution).

Then do the same just as you walk down the aisle - take just a minute to breathe it all in and really settle yourself so that you can be present during the ceremony.

Have a blast and don't worry!!
posted by dawkins_7 at 1:49 PM on March 14, 2011


Are you leaving on a honeymoon right after the wedding? Let your bank and credit-card people know! I had a check for wedding photography given to me bounce because the couple went to Mexico and the bank considered sudden out-of-country expenses to be suspicious and froze their account.

(The answer to why I didn't get it deposited beforehand is that I'm not a pro photographer and was doing this for a friend of a friend at the last minute, so the check was given to me at the wedding. They were apologetic and gave me cash when they got back.)
posted by telophase at 1:50 PM on March 14, 2011


Be extra vigilant about washing your hands. Now is the time to avoid getting a virus.

Also, take care of your immune system after the wedding as well. It's not uncommon for people to suffer a "let-down effect" after a period of prolonged stress, where your immune system believes the danger has passed. You don't want to catch a cold right before leaving on your honeymoon.

If you're using real flowers, be careful to not touch them too much with your hands. You can bruise the petals and they'll look a little tired by the time you take photos.

Remember that a good makeup artist can cover up all traces of a sleepless night.

If you're tossing a bouquet...don't throw it too hard. Mine ended up stuck in the ceiling of the reception hall.
posted by castlebravo at 1:52 PM on March 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


Nthing having other people do the heavy lifting/thinking, giving tiny easy to lose stuff to trusted aides, and, please, comfy shoes and snacks.

It's also a good idea to have someone else in charge of getting you places on time. My uncle and I split the job for my dad when he got married, and it worked out really well.

Oh, and don't change your mind at this point about anything decoration/music wise. I once stayed up very, very late at the house of my friend's soon to be sister-in-law, redoing party favors, and I didn't even go to the wedding.
posted by SMPA at 1:54 PM on March 14, 2011


There was a dog fight during our wedding vows (bark bark, snarl, bark bark, grrrrrr.) Wedding was still fun and we are still married 14 years later.

so, yes, roll with it.
posted by vespabelle at 1:56 PM on March 14, 2011


Nominate someone to be the person who hears about what's going wrong. (This person is not, under any circumstances, to to be the groom.)

Uncle Jimmy had a bit too much to drink? That is not information for the bride.

Canapes all gone? Again, not information for the bride.

Weather report says it looks like its going to rain? Seriously?, stop trying to bother the bride.

And if anyone gets through to the bride with this stuff, please just remember who you nominated, and refer the tattle tale back to the right channel.
posted by bilabial at 2:01 PM on March 14, 2011 [8 favorites]


I haven't been married, but definitely do stop by as many tables as you can to thank people for coming. The wedding couple ends up being like celebrities of sorts and it's just a very important gesture to thank people for coming to share this with you. I once flew in for the wedding of a family friend, for just the day, and she never spoke to me or even sent a note to say thank you. Don't do that.
posted by sweetkid at 2:14 PM on March 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


My friend forgot that days get shorter in September when she planned her outdoor wedding. Picture them on the phone a quarter to seven begging everyone they know to bring candles. Somehow they rolled with it. The pictures were *amazing*, with the trees in silouhette, and the sky painted orange and red behind them.

Takeaway message: Something *always* goes wrong. But sometimes even the "oopses" can turn out beautifully.

Do try to keep things in perspective: A screaming, tear-streaked bride is memorable to all parties, and not in a good way. So if Aunt Zelda wants to photobomb all the portrait shots in a lime green dress, make it someone else's problem and forget about it. At the end of the day, if two people tie the knot and are happy to be together, that is the *ONLY* thing that matter. Don't let trivial details, become the focal memory of what should have been a beautiful day. Breathe, love your soon-to-be-spouse and shake off the non-essentials like a duck flicking off water.
posted by Ys at 2:15 PM on March 14, 2011


More than nominating someone to be the point person during the wedding, choose that person now and talk with them. First to make sure they're 100% OK being the go-to person, and second to share with them all your fears and concerns now, so they're completely off your shoulders and onto someone else. Talk with them throughout the week, tell them anything else you are worried about, and let them deal with it. If the list becomes too long for one person, divvy it up between two people, so they can still have fun.

Provide a table, or at least food, for the support people (including photographer and assistant). They're working their butts off, and they'll get hungry. If everything is ordered already, ask them what they'd like and provide it from some other source.

Make sure the DJ has spare cables of all sorts, and does a test set-up a day or two before the wedding. We hired a friend to do our wedding, and there was a cable or two missing that delayed the music for an hour. We had all day, so it was no big deal.

Take time to eat when everyone else is. You don't need to be in super-bride mode all the time, greeting everyone while they're eating. Eat for part of the "food time," or put off greeting folks until the dancing time (and to give you a break from dancing). If you do put off greeting folks until dancing, make sure you talk to the people who might leave early first. And I agree with others that you should bring comfortable shoes for after the ceremony, for dancing if nothing else.

But in the end, RELAX. BREATHE. HAVE FUN. Laugh about things that go awry, because nothing really matters except the ceremony, and that doesn't need to be completely structured. Flub a line, everyone laughs, and the wedding goes on. It's a fabulous day, but it shouldn't be stressful.

More anecdotes of what can go wrong: we bought a cake cutter for the wedding, but forgot it at home, so we used a serving item from the kitchen where we had the wedding, and no one noticed. The music was delayed, but that gave everyone more time to talk with people around them, and for us to talk with the guests. But in the end, everyone had fun*, and we were married. (*Except my cousin, who got drunk, but she didn't throw up until after most everybody left.)
posted by filthy light thief at 2:25 PM on March 14, 2011


Set a day for yourself this week where if something isn't done, it's not going to get done -- for my Saturday wedding, that day was Thursday. At that point, people were in town and I wanted to see them and hang around with my family & friends, not drive to 4 different Hobby Lobby stores looking for 3 inch wide navy blue ribbon.

Give your phone to someone else that day.

Eat breakfast/lunch that day. Something real. Make sure someone brings you food, and gives you time to eat it, because the minute you sit down at your reception, people will swarm you like flies. (And they will all bring you drinks, but not food!)

If you're having any sort of non-traditional guestbook, draft someone to explain it to people so they actually sign it. Our silver platter wound up confusing people who thought it was just for display, despite the "sign our guestbook!" explanatory sign and fancy pens. If you don't have a card box, get someone to take care of that for you.

Really, though, it will all go by SO fast. We forgot our cake cutting set, and it didn't matter. We asked the DJ to not play any Black Eyed Peas, and he did, and it didn't matter. We worried about family members sneaking to the bar across the street to watch the Steelers/Ravens playoff game -- and they did, but it didn't matter. (It was, however, the biggest dance floor hit of the night when the DJ announced the final score and played Renegade.)

Just relax. Have fun. Talk to people, dance with your husband, and ENJOY YOURSELF. Remember to breathe. Seriously, I can't tell you how fast the entire day goes by -- it's a huge blur, and you'll hear the best stories afterwards. You've put in a lot of work at this point, and you've hired great vendors. Let them do their jobs.
posted by ThatSomething at 2:42 PM on March 14, 2011


First of all, congratulations!

Mr. TBS and I forgot to get cash out before our honeymoon. Remember to get cash beforehand if you are going anywhere!

Relax and have fun, and let everyone else do everything for you and your husband (but mostly you!).

Don't freak out when you have trouble pushing the ring onto your husband's finger. It looks so easy but it's actually kind of difficult when everyone is watching.

Mostly the whole day goes by so fast and everything blurs together. Make sure your friends and family get lots of pictures and listen to the great stories they have about your day when you get back from your honeymoon.

On our wedding day, my brother and the best man messed up taking the runner down the aisle and there was a huge problem getting everything situated before I came out. My brother was duct-taping the runner to the floor because it wouldn't stay flat, but I didn't miss any of the action because my dad was giving me the play-by-play. The wedding planner was so angry because we were running behind schedule. Stuff like this doesn't matter. At the end of the day, you'll be married and it'll be fun, so don't let things getting off-track ruin a beautiful day.
posted by ThaBombShelterSmith at 2:54 PM on March 14, 2011


If any part of your wedding attire hurts today, swap it out now or at least bring backup. With all the running around your feet, at the very least, are going to get a little puffy and shoes that are a little stiff now will turn excruciating on the day. That goes for your husband, as well. Hurty feet suck.

Something's going to go wrong. Like marriage itself, weddings can't and shouldn't be expected to be perfect. The worst thing you could do would be to freak out over whatever it is. The only thing that has to happen is that all the primary players show up, everything else is either manageable or out of your control.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:57 PM on March 14, 2011


1. Try on your whole kit and kaboodle now, all together, while you still have time to tweak the details. My dress and shoes had been tried on together repeatedly at fittings, so I thought I'd be fine, but it turned out the bridal store sent the wrong veil, and I didn't find out it was HUGE until T-10 minutes, when it was too late to do anything about it. I also might have changed my earrings if I'd seen it all together.

2. Again about the veil (if you're wearing one): ask your hairdresser for a demo of how to take your veil off without ruining your hair. I was so scared to ruin my hair that I left the veil on for every single picture, and I wish I'd been able to comfortably remove it for the reception and some of the pictures.

3. Make sure someone around you brings a couple of these. I was wearing a lei (wedding in Hawaii) and managed to drag steak juice onto my gown. Luckily a friend had a couple of these wipes, and the dress cleaned up immediately.

4. Seconding what those above have said about wearing the underwear you'll be married in all day, and adding (potentially) all of your something old, new, borrowed and blue items if those are important to you. Basically anything you're not used to paying a lot of attention to when you're getting ready.

5. If you're going to shower and get ready away from home, start (today) putting together a travel kit of copies of all the toiletries you'll use, so you can just grab it and go on the day of. Mine included my favorite lotion and lip balm for post-shower and pre-makeup, q-tips, comb, vitamins and the usual suspects. I threw in some bandaids, hair pins, clear nail polish and safety pins too, just in case. Bonus: you can take this same kit on your honeymoon. But the real benefit of putting the kit together really early is that you have a week to catch all the "uh oh, I forgot my..."

On preview, it reads like my wedding was a fiasco, but it was really quite lovely, because none of the glitches mattered, and the tsunami warning didn't pan out (not kidding). I was surrounded by my loved ones, and turning legit with my best friend in the world. Negative Nellies be damned, all was right with the world!

Congratulations, and have fun!
posted by nadise at 3:06 PM on March 14, 2011


If you can, go to the ceremony site ahead of time with someone who has a camera, figure out where to stand so that everybody fits in the frame at important times, and mark it with tape.

My husband and I DIY-ed everything, with no rehearsal, and this is the one thing we regret not checking out because in our photos everyone is really spread out and the photographer couldn't always get everyone in the frame.

That said, I'm not crying over it, so YMMV.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:08 PM on March 14, 2011


Ooh, one more thing: I didn't realize I'd be called upon immediately after the ceremony to sign my new name for the first time. I could've used some practice, since I wasn't naturally the type to doodle Mrs. Nadise Hislastname before we were married.
posted by nadise at 3:09 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I haven't read what other people have said, but I"d just say put someone else in charge of logistics so that you don't have to worry about it. I gave a friend and my sister responsibility for making sure the plan was followed, and I didn't think about it all, I just went where people told me to go, and everything was great. I didn't find out about things that went wrong until WELL after the wedding, and it was two very minor things that nobody seemed to care about - we ran out of cake and the caterer forgot a side dish that no one except my mom even noticed (we had an Indian buffet). Also, my husband showed up super late because he got stuck in traffic so we didn't have enough time for photos, but that was fine because I had kind of padded extra time in there just in case anyway.

Anyway, don't worry about it, all that matters is that you're getting married, yay!!!
posted by echo0720 at 3:26 PM on March 14, 2011


Congrats and have a great wedding! You will, no matter what little things don't go as planned.

You've gotten great advice here, just wanted to add a couple of things:

From my wedding, I wish I had remembered to add a couple of photos to my pre-ceremony wedding party list: one of me and my three sibs, and one of me and my two best friends (all together). It didn't ruin the day or anything, just something I wish I'd thought of. Also, I didn't do a receiving line, but then missed speaking to a few guests personally (and some of my old friends didn't meet my husband at all!). I just wish I had it in my head to go with my husband around to the different tables and groups, at the cocktail hour or after dinner, to greet everyone.

From a relative's wedding: bring envelopes with payment to your various vendors, if you are making final payment on the wedding day. This person didn't, and various close friends and family were shaken down for their cash on hand (I gave $120 from my purse), and it was never mentioned again. It was kind of annoying.

Having a day-of coordinator was such a relief to me. The morning of the wedding I woke up and just released all thoughts of last minute details/errands/coordinating, and enjoyed the day as it happened.
posted by JenMarie at 3:29 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, I forgot, I guess the "incident" I ended up hearing a lot about after the fact was an old college friend who ended up getting in a drunken yelling fight with her boyfriend at my wedding. This was somewhat late in the evening, but yeah, I'm pretty sure my aunts and uncles and cousins were still around, and it probably seemed a bit scandalous. Oh, and my 19 year old cousin apparently outed herself on the dance floor drunkenly making out with my friend and her wife. Ha, I think that one surprised some folks, too. So if you have some folks in your family or circle of friends who might over do it with the booze (or would be shocked by people who would), maybe have some plan for that.
posted by JenMarie at 3:36 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Pay attention to your friends if they are miming pulling up a dress to cover a bra strap.

Do not let my father be responsible for bringing the flowers for the ceremony, and if you do, when he has forgotten them at home, don't listen to him when he says, "Just go ahead without them—no one will notice."

Have a great day, and I hope you can relax enough to enjoy your lovely day!
posted by theredpen at 3:52 PM on March 14, 2011


I just got married 3 months ago, so this is fresh for me. And I've been married twice, so I have 100% more experience than lots of people. :)

1) Drink lots of water before the wedding.
2) Appoint someone else as your holder of stuff/caretaker/beverage and food getter.
3) If anything doesn't look or seem as you arranged for, just forget it. This is the time to enjoy the experience of your wedding and the company of people, not fret over arrangements.
4) This should actually be number 1: make a point to spend as much time as possible with your husband during the ceremony, even if you're just holding hands while each speaking with different people.
5) It sounds like your wedding is a manageably small enough size that you should be able to speak to lots of your guests. Make an effort to do this, but don't beat yourself up if you didn't get around to spending 10 minutes with great uncle Ezra.
6) EAT.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 3:53 PM on March 14, 2011


Apparently, in full view of about half the guests at our wedding dinner, a drunk was in the alley outside the restaurant relieving himself at great length. I had no idea this was going on and my parents' friends were shaking and crying with laughter and refused to say anything. I think I would have been laughing too, but they thought it would spoil the evening for me, so I didn't hear about it until months afterwards.

My sister came home two nights before her wedding with her orders of service all printed out--all 200 of them. I took one look and started laughing, because the processional was "Cannon in D." She was NOT happy. We did them over again. You might make sure someone eagle-eyed gets a look at yours, if you have them.

20 years from now, none of this will matter. Congratulations and enjoy the day. It will be lovely. The most important thing to remember is just that--remember. Don't worry about things; just be.
posted by tully_monster at 4:00 PM on March 14, 2011


If you're wearing a poufy dress & it's at all possible that you will be the one driving to (home/hotel/whatever) after the reception (say, if everyone else manages to get a little tipsy), bring clothes to change into. You don't want to try cramming a huge skirt into the car while worrying about whether you can get your feet on the pedals & "oh God did the grease from the car door just smear on me?"

Seconding whoever said to go around & talk to every guest to thank them for coming.

I can't think of a wedding I've been to that hasn't had something go wrong. Torrential rainfalls, food poisoning at the reception, bride's sister missing her flight, etc. But in the end, if you finish up the day married, it's a success. :)
posted by belladonna at 4:03 PM on March 14, 2011


One near wedding disaster a friend of mine had: She had gotten the marriage license over a month earlier and it had expired - it was only good for 30 days!! Luckily a family member realized the oversight and told her and she was able to go and get a new license a week before the wedding.
posted by sandyp at 4:57 PM on March 14, 2011


With all the joy, happiness, dancing, eating and schmoozing, the evening will go by soooo quickly. During the dancing and festivities, grab your husband (!!) and go stand in a corner for a moment. Take a few minutes, just the two of you, to watch the party...all of your friends and family together in one place...hanging out...dancing...laughing...just observe how absolutely great it is...how Aunt Hilda and Cousin Bob are cutting a rug, how your Great Aunt and friends from grad school seem to be in a deep conversation about astrophysics...how freaking brilliant to have all these people you care about in one place.

And practically speaking...because you'll be a tad distracted...perhaps ask a trusted friend to remind you and your husband to do this. :)
posted by avocado_of_merriment at 5:07 PM on March 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


The father of the groom told me the night before, that, as recommended in some book, he had loosened his wedding ring and made sure he could remove it at the altar in a pinch. Sure enough, the bridesmaid, who was carrying the ring, made it to the alter ... without the ring. No idea where she dropped it or whatever, it was never found. Father of the groom slipped his off, handed it to his son, and it served as a stand-in.

The organist passed out and collapsed right on the keyboard, making for some rather strange and sustained music. In that case, the brothers of the bride moved as quietly as possible to lay the organist on the floor and fan her.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:59 PM on March 14, 2011


No bars the night before. Friend of mine's husband-to-be got shot in the leg the night before the ceremony (not by getting in a fight but by being in the wrong place at the wrong time). An hour after it was supposed to start, someone came and announced to us that they had just been married in the hospital and the bride would be there soon to celebrate with us.
posted by IndigoRain at 6:16 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


No matter what they say to you, don't let anyone do your makeup in a way you aren't comfortable with. I cringe every time a I look at my wedding photos -- I guess I looked okay, but I didn't look like me.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 6:19 PM on March 14, 2011


Delegate.
Especially if you have relatives that (a) butt into things (b) must feel important. To them you delegate the most time-consuming, detail oriented task and name it the most important thing. Ta-da! Two problems solved in one shot.

My wife-to-be was with her sister the night before. I dressed up in my tails, put on a pair of sunglasses, put the top down on her Miata and drove to the church. Man, I looked effing cool. As cool as I will probably ever be for the rest of my life cool. I even got the only space open in front of the church. Know what? That cool vanishes when you realize that while you have the check for the minister and the marriage certificate, you don't have any money for the parking meter and you have to pan handle the first person you see walking by. Yeah. Bring parking money or somebody with parking money.

Having a goto-girl/guy is important in either case.

If you're relaxed, your friends will be relaxed and everything will work.
posted by plinth at 6:43 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


My dress was at my Mom's house. I was getting ready at my house. My Mom forgot to bring my dress and had to turn around and go back and get it (extra 30-45 minutes. I was late for my own weddding. I am NEVER late for anything) I will forgive her for that on her deathbed. Maybe.

Make sure you have people you can count on in charge of the important things.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:48 PM on March 14, 2011


I married March 20, 2010. Listen to avocado_of_merriment's advice. Assign people to remind you to take the time, breathe, and enjoy the event.

I had no wedding coordinator, but I did have a day-of-coordinator, mostly to cue the ceremony.

What made me relax was to make lists: to-do the day before, to-do the day of, things to get still (sounds like you have everything), things to bring, plus friendly little reminders about enjoying the day...

ENJOY the day.
posted by Jezebella at 6:58 PM on March 14, 2011


Congratulations to you and your fiance....it sounds like it will be a wonderful day.

My one piece of advice, other than the obvious exhortation to enjoy every moment, is to be sure to outline, on an actual written list, the photographs that you must have made, either as staged photos or as candids both before and after. Then give the list to the photographer, his/her assistant, and a trusted friend.

I can't tell you the sinking feeling that I had when I awoke the next morning to realize that I had failed to ask the photographer to take a picture of the grandmothers together, or all of the cousins, or whatever family group is important. Better they should take more configurations than you think you might want, then to regret not getting that photo at your once-in-a-lifetime event.

Mazel tov!
posted by Ginesthoi at 7:04 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


>>Make sure you have people you can count on in charge of the important things.

This. A lot of people seem to think that important jobs get handed out as honorariums. Being your bestest best friend for the last 20 years does not automatically make someone able to handle all the little things that come up. When delegating, delegate to people who are good at fixing & handling things, not just people you like or want to spotlight.
posted by Ys at 7:26 PM on March 14, 2011


The best advice I got was from our friends' wedding a month before our own.

Make a schedule of everything that happens, chronologically. Include where people have to be and when. Then, give it to everyone.

I mailed mine out to all of the family members who were there, and the few things that had "Pick up the food from X [???]" got volunteers asap of "oh, I can take care of that!"

Plus, then everyone knew where and when stuff was happening and nobody had to pester the bride (in her wedding or in mine) about "When are we supposed to be at Y? Is so-and-so supposed to be there?" Seriously, there are so many things going on that the simpler, the better.
posted by bookdragoness at 7:47 PM on March 14, 2011


For my wedding, I safety-pinned the ring inside my pocket and my groom tied his with a cord. Having a decent plan for not-losing the rings. (Yes, it did take slightly longer as we each got our rings out, but it helped me relax significantly.)
posted by Margalo Epps at 7:52 PM on March 14, 2011


Wow~there's a lot here, but nthing just relaxing, knowing that things will not all go as planned, but you will still be married to the right person.

The best wedding present I got was a friend who showed up a week early and said, "Tell me what you want/need done, and I'll get it done." She was our obedient servant for a week and she helped us immeasurably.

Forget the deets and have fun. There's only one day in your life like it, don't miss it by obsessing over some unimportant detail.
posted by davoid at 8:08 PM on March 14, 2011


2nding sunscreen. That's what I forgot. Happily my foundation was SPF 30, so no red nose, but I scorched my shoulders and they spent the whole honeymoon smarting and peeling. The day was muggy and overcast so I didn't even think of it, and boy did I regret that oversight.
posted by troublesome at 8:14 PM on March 14, 2011


oh yeah, sunscreen! i got sunburned during our outdoor wedding photos. :)

best thing for me, besides the advice about staging the pictures in advance, above, was that one of my best friends came in the day before the wedding and we drove around to do some errands, get our nails done, and then just sat at an outdoor cafe and drank a couple of beers before heading back into the scrum. a little time out like that is awesome.
posted by thinkingwoman at 8:19 PM on March 14, 2011


Make time to be alone with your new spouse - 5 minutes of quiet will help you be present.

I also did extensive lists for all my wedding day volunteers and service providers, and it meant there was nothing people had to ask me about when the day came. Let them know who they should bother, since you'll have delegated someone for that.

Do a practice run with your makeup artist so you're happy with the look.

I enjoyed having a different dress to dance in because the big one would have been too hot.

I wish I'd given my photographer a checklist and/or helper to take more pictures of family & friends. I don't need half the photos of myself I have and want more of other people.

Be explicit with the best man (or whoever) that it's his job to deal with the unpleasantly drunk people who should live. Ours had a whole speech about it and then didn't actually do it.

Sounds like you've planned a fun night. Congratulations. Have fun
posted by Heart_on_Sleeve at 8:23 PM on March 14, 2011


I put my dress on after makeup. I proceeded to then somehow lift the dress up too far and smash it into my face, smearing lipstick all over the front of my dress. Somehow, it came out with dabs of water and paper towels. I still do not understand how.

Oh, and our DJ realized a week before our wedding that he had nooo freakin' clue what kind of music we liked (husband went into the room with Pixies' 'Here Comes Your Man', I with The Las' 'There She Goes'). So he dumped us onto someone else he knew. Thankfully, the someone else was amazing and our age and did a wonderful job and knew a friend of ours that came to the wedding so yay!

I'm sure other snafus happened, but it's been four years so they all faded away.
posted by kpht at 8:29 PM on March 14, 2011


1. If you're doing your own vows memorize the shit out of them

2. It may indeed be your and your betrothed's "special day" but be wary of wasting people's time
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:48 PM on March 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


No matter what you do, no matter how well you plan, no matter how much work you put into it, EVERY single person at your wedding will find SOMETHING to complain about. Once you come to terms with this truth, you'll be fine
posted by tiburon at 9:14 PM on March 14, 2011


These may be slightly idiosyncratic:

Make sure that the person driving your grandparents knows how to get to the venue and where to park.

If you have family taking photos instead of a photographer, organise a signal so that everyone is looking at the same camera - we have so many funny photos of people looking in six directions.

If your brother is the sound guy, do a levels check. (Professionals should do this anyways).

If you accidentally throw the bouquet into the chandelier and it's stuck there until the maintenance guy comes by, make sure you get pictures - they will be some of the best from the whole day.

Other than that, everything should be fine. The week before a wedding can be hell - but the day itself always seems to go wonderfully if everyone just looks at each other and smiles and remembers that nothing is that important -- well, except for waiting for Grandma and Grandad to arrive. And no one did complain about that, or anything else.
posted by jb at 11:20 PM on March 14, 2011


tl;dr - Will you be there? Will he be there? You will be surrounded by people who love you and want to be there. That's all that matters. Enjoy the day.

Yes, this.

Eighteen months later, my mother is still grumbling about the tablecloths, which nobody even realized was an almost-problem.

Me? I was ecstatic to marry the love of my life after 15 years, and to have the people most important to us be there to share in our joy.

Nothing. Else. Matters.
posted by spinturtle at 5:52 AM on March 15, 2011


If you accidentally throw the bouquet into the chandelier and it's stuck there until the maintenance guy comes by, make sure you get pictures - they will be some of the best from the whole day.

Oh, absolutely, this. Sometimes the "mistakes" or the "bobbles" are the best parts, and make for the best pictures.

One of my cousin's weddings was a very DIY affair -- it was the couple's aesthetic -- and were both very hands-on through the whole thing. My brother got some great shots of our cousin in his tux right before the wedding trying to hang lights under the tent because one of the fuses blew. But my own favorite photo came later - they'd decided to "cater" things by renting a huge propane grill and having all the groomsmen chip in different foodstuffs to grill. And right on time, someone drove up with the propane grill, dropped it off, and left. But it wasn't until after he left that everyone realized one thing -- no one knew how to light a propane grill.

So I have this fantastic series of shots of six guys in formalwear huddled around a huge grill, all of them looking very confused -- and then a final shot where they're all high-fiving each other because someone finally figured it out.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:29 AM on March 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


tl;dr. Some hiccups can make your special day endearing...omitting the (many) bad parts of the (over) relationship, on my wedding day as we were exchanging vows, the groom froze completely at his part. Then he leaned over to the officiant and said, "I forgot my line!" But he also had the nervous tic of speaking LOUDLY when nervous, so it was more like: "I FORGOT MY LINE!!!" Everyone had a good laugh, including me, and it made a great picture / memory.

It's true, nothing else matters. If I remarry, I don't know that I'd even plan a big thing because what's important are the people who are there, not the limos or flowers or food or music.
posted by motsque at 6:43 AM on March 15, 2011


I forgot the pearl necklace my parents bought me to wear at the wedding at home!! I was really upset and crying... but you know what... 15 years later it seems like such a silly thing to have gotten so upset about...

So whatever goes wrong, and something definitely will, just remember to enjoy the day.

We had on and off tornado warnings the whole morning of our outdoor wedding. My favorite photo from the wedding is of the two of us standing against a dark and threatening sky and the wind blowing my hair.

I second the straws, snack, and somewhere to go afterwards. We invited people to our house after the wedding but we were so exhausted it was too much.
posted by LittleMy at 8:21 AM on March 15, 2011


Congratulations! I just got married on February 19th so I was right where you are not too long ago! I wanted to echo what avocado_of_merriment said. It all goes by SO fast. We were so happy to have so many people we loved in one place and there was just so much happiness everywhere it zoomed right by at laser speed. We had so many people we wanted to be with but we made sure we got that few minutes to just step back together and take it all in, it was a priceless moment I will never forget. As to how to handle the days leading up to the wedding, those were some of the most fun anxiety filled days ever. I was just a ball of excitement. Screw calm and enjoy every day of this! It was the best day of my life!
posted by heatherly at 12:10 PM on March 15, 2011


If you choose someone to carry around small things for you, make sure they carry oil absorbing sheets you can use throughout the day/before photos are taken. They go a long way in preventing shiny-face in pictures.

Also, it's a little late for this, but having some vegetarian options at the reception is always good. It seems like every wedding I go to has seafood/steak/chicken etc. and nothing I can eat except for salad. You don't want any guests to go hungry.
posted by cp311 at 10:32 PM on March 16, 2011


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