How do I deal with my alcoholic parent?
February 7, 2011 9:38 PM Subscribe
My alcoholic parent is causing me stress and keeping me from living my life as well as focusing on my college work... What should I do?
posted by tommyboy to Human Relations (23 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I am writing this here because I cannot afford to see a therapist or clinical psychologist to get help with my problems. I also think that people who have experienced anything close to what I have experienced will probably have better opinions than any doctor can give me. Sorry if it is really long but in order for you to help me you must know my situation fully.
Just to give a little more insight to you all about my situation, I am 19 years old and a sophomore in college. My mother has been an alcoholic for the majority of my life, although I wasn't truly aware of how serious her problem was until I was in high school.
About a year ago my mother had gone 3 or 4 days without a drink for the first time in years. She had a seizure from the withdrawal from the alcohol which caused her brain damage. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks, tied down with restraints because of the intensity of her withdrawals.
For my entire summer I waited on her hand and foot taking care of her trying to get her well after her seizure. I was spending so much time taking care of her that I quit my part-time job, lost my girlfriend and majority of my friends, just to take care of her and make sure she wouldn't drink. She had gone about 2 months without a drink and had started going to Al-Anon meetings as well as therapy through the hospital for her drinking problem. I even attended AA meetings with her to get more insight into the life of an alcoholic.
At the end of the summer I attended college again, and without me at home to watch her at all times, she started drinking again. She kept attending AA meetings, but always came home drunk.
For months my father and I had taken away her alcohol when she came home with it and taken away her keys, even money and credit cards at times in hope that this would stop her from getting the alcohol, but I was wrong. She was at times walking miles from our house just to get the alcohol while I was asleep. She always had a way to get it and this disease seemed to of overtaken her to the point of no return.
My grades are falling behind horribly and I am usually a 4.0 gpa student but I recently was removed from the business school at my college and my gpa has dropped to around a 2.2. I can't focus on my work because she is always on my mind and I am always stressing and worrying about if she will make it home each night or if she will wake up each morning.
She is so deep into this disease that I am scared to leave her, even though recently I have been trying to avoid her in hopes that I can save my college career and social life. If she goes one day without a single drink her hands tremble a lot and she cannot sleep, as well as mood changes and talking to herself quietly at all times.
One side of me just wants to move out of my home and get on with my life so that I can be successful and graduate college. But another part of me doesn't want to just leave her behind, as well as leave all the stress of her addiction for my father to deal with.
I don't have a clue as to what to do, I can't focus on school or my social life like I should be. I am constantly stressed out, losing weight, and at times have anxiety. Please if anyone has ideas for me or opinions for my situation, they would be greatly appreciated.