Is my mom an alcoholic? What do I do?
May 27, 2010 9:10 AM Subscribe
I'm planning on moving in with my parents at the end of August, but I think my mom might be an alcoholic. I don't know what to do.
posted by anonymous to human relations (30 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 23 and I haven't lived at home since I was 18. I went to college, graduated, and have supported myself since then. But times are tough and when my lease is up at the end of august, I plan on moving in with my parents for a year while I work and apply to grad schools. They seem excited to have me live with them again and I am very grateful that they are letting me do this. It will save me a lot of money and we generally get along well.
However, in the past few years my mom has been drinking a lot. She comes home from work at 4pm and has a drink going until she goes to bed around ten. I would say she probably has four or five large drinks a night. I don't know if this is really abnormal drinking, but I don't really like her behavior when she drinks. She talks like a baby, has no short term memory (asks me the same questions over and over, repeats stuff) and gets really emotional.
I've talked to her about it before, both when she has been drinking and the next day when she is sober. When she's sober, sometimes she gets mad but sometimes she says that she is trying to work on it and thanks me for bringing it up. But when she's drinking she absolutely ignores me and talks over me.
My dad says that he has talked to her about it and she doesn't want to do anything and ignores him. She doesn't drink during the day and she doesn't get totally wasted to the point of passing out on the couch. It's just like she gets "super tipsy" and I don't like being around her.
I have been seeing this guy for a month and I really like him, and I brought him to my parents house for dinner. My mom always seems to drink more when other people are around, and she was acting all weird and I was so embarrassed. I had to have that conversation with him way earlier than I wanted to.
I just talked to my dad and told him that I didn't want to move home if my mom kept up with this, and he was really sad and asked me to talk to her about it. But she has said in the past that she will cut down and she never did. I feel really bad for my dad, but it makes me really sad to be around her when she is like that. It's like she thinks it's super fun, but nobody else does.
I really don't know what to do. Maybe it's worth saying that her brother is an alcoholic but has been sober for 18 years.
I can definitely afford to live on my own, but it seems like I'm just ignoring the problem and giving up on her. I want her and my dad to be happy. But if she's not willing to do anything, do I do nothing? Please help. I'm so, so tired of this.