She's leaving but not gone.
December 15, 2010 8:58 AM Subscribe
My soon-to-be-ex girlfriend is moving out. How do I keep myself sane the next month?
posted by richrad to human relations (42 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My live-in girlfriend of about six months has recently announced that she is moving out to her own apartment in the middle of next month. She has found a place and signed a lease. I've made it clear that I'm not interested in taking a step back in our relationship, and that this would effectively kill what we have. She's okay with that, and says that she doesn't love me anymore. This was all pretty shocking for me to hear. I thought our relationship was on solid ground. We were having fun and making long-term plans. I've tried everything I can think of to get her to reconsider this but after a couple weeks of hours-long teary talks I am just heartbroken and exhausted.
So she's leaving in a month. I'm torn between wanting her out as soon as possible and wanting to keep her close with the hopes that she will come to her senses and stay. We are still, for the most part, very civil and friendly. We are still sharing a bed and having sex. She still calls me "honey," and makes coffee in the morning. Her day-to-day actions clash greatly with her big-picture plan and I am just lost.
So, MetaFilter, what is my next step? Do I need to tell her to leave, now? Do I start sleeping on the couch? Or do I just grin and bear it, make the best of the time we have left even though I really feel awful?