Asking for a prenup in a "nice" way.
December 14, 2010 10:47 AM Subscribe
Any tips on broaching the subject of a pre-nup?
posted by myaskme to Human Relations (37 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I am not seeking legal advice, just your thoughts on how best to crack this difficult nut.
Background: I've been married once before; the marriage dissolved when my ex had an affair. It was totally shocking, and entirely out of character; we had been together nearly 20 years. The one benefit was that my ex and I are each professionals, there was no question of either supporting the other, and we each kept our own assets and liabilities.
Fast forward a few years, and I'm going to be married again, though I haven't proposed yet. I have somewhere around $450,000 in assets; my girlfriend has less, but she stands to inherit at least that much from her parents someday.
I'd like to discuss a prenup with my girlfriend, but I really don't know how. She is no gold digger, having been blindsided by my ex wife's affair, I'd like to make sure that I have some measure of protection for my nest egg. I think there is a fair arrangement--we each keep what we come with (me: lots; her: little) and keep the inheritances we stand to receive (me: little; her: lots). We're in a state where the law would otherwise provide for 50/50 split of everything, regardless of when/where/how acquired.
Any thoughts on how to proceed? Is this a pre-proposal question? Post-proposal? I really do adore this woman, and I don't want her to think I'm some sort of rat.