"For Grigori, I sold goat" -- A Christmas Mystery
December 14, 2010 10:49 AM Subscribe
Did I get forwarded a letter from eastern Europe, or is this the most beautiful gotcha ever?
posted by timsteil to Grab Bag (65 answers total) 229 users marked this as a favorite
In the mail today was a totally bizarre letter. Obviously chewed up in the mail, and missing some pages, all I got with the last one. It is possiblly the most wonderful, genuine thing I have received in a long time. My address is clearly done with a printer, but the letter itself seems hand-typed with a blotty ribbon. the paper is crumpled, and coffee stained.
"...so other than the problem with mule, it was good year. Poppa come home from hospital vit no spleen again. Last time doctor say no spleen but this time he got right.. Viktor make bed in kitchen du poppa und poppa always compalin about too much cabbage and greasy and too much smoking all the time. I tell poppa hey poppa you smoking too,like Russian car,you smoke, but poppa he just drinking Svedya and laughing and go pee pee in coal chUte."
The return address is from Romanian MidAtlantic Postage Recovery, 82.5 S. Cicero, Chicago. Underneath that it says "We're apologize for missing contents. Merry Christmas." It has a foreign ( I assume Romanian) postmark, with a US stamp placed over it. With a large ink fingerprint on front and back of envelope. There is no such address, nor is that company listed anywhere I can Google.
It seems sincere, and goes in in great, almost stereotypical cariacturish detail about family things -- "Viktor is joining army this year...is good work. He bringing home petrol for cooking and Marlboros from Amerikanjyks.We are looking forward to good Christmas this year. I got for poppa a pack of Pravda cigarettes still with the plastic and bread line ticket sealed inside. I have one match for each cigarette."
I would type the whole thing out, but that seem a bit indulgent, no matter how entertaining.
Anyway, has anyone in the postal world, or Chicago, or Romanian culture heard of this forwarding service? Is the anything about the use of language that would indicate it is somehow fake/does it seem too strained etc? While the return address says Romanian, something about it seems more Ukranian to me.
I swear if someone is screwing with me they have pulled off a masterpiece. I am split four ways on this; wanting to get it to its rightful recipient, keep for my own pleasure, get info on this mystery fowarding service, and lastly, getting it in Found Magazine.
The letter ends
"Well, sirens are insistent so we all going into basement again. I hope letter finding you well and good. May god be with you and please sending maybe a pack of Marlboros or DVD.
If you need anymore details, please ask. This has truly got me wondering.