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March 16, 2010 12:21 PM Subscribe
[DivorceFilter] How do you go about revising the financial terms of a divorce agreement, particularly when both parties are now in a different state than the one in which the divorce took place?
posted by sheena is a sock puppet to Human Relations (6 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
(First off: yes, this was not an ideal settlement, and yes, lawyers have been contacted in both states. We're waiting to hear back.)
My partner and his ex divorced in Iowa in 2008. No kids, no real estate, no investments or similar. They are not adversarial, but she has always been less than forthcoming about things hence the cheating, divorce and her upcoming marriage (which we heard about through a third party).
The bulk of the financial terms involved him paying off the balance on certain credit cards, in her name, because a) they had incurred those expenses together and b) she hadn't been employed for a good two or three years.
Now they're both living in Wisconsin. She's been fully employed for a while now, and getting hitched to a guy who makes a lot of money, so she should pay for her own bills.
Mainly, he just wants to send her a letter saying that he doesn't want to pay for it anymore. He could just stop paying it, but he is worried that it could somehow affect his credit (and backing out of the agreement is not okay). She is probably not fully clear on her own affairs; she had no idea when he had started paying for it. Of course, we have to prepare for the possibility that she will hire someone who knows what they're doing, even if she doesn't.
There are many other details here, mainly involving me wanting to kick her, but is this the kind of thing that can be renegotiated? And does it have to be in the state where the divorce took place, or can we do it up here?