Moving on from her
December 4, 2010 6:41 PM Subscribe
Changing your mindset. Understanding they weren't right for you.
posted by Atlantic to Human Relations (20 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I've posted a few questions about this in the past year. My ex-girlfriend of an over a year broke up with me at the end of September. Our relationship was good. I don't need to go into detail, but I will say that we parted ways because I had loved and she wasn’t at that place but felt it was wrong to continue as it would be unfair to me. In short, she was never looking for that.
The problem I'm having is that I'm trying to convince myself that she wasn't right for me.
The thing with past girlfriends is I did actually believe they were the wrong person. For example, my last ex wouldn't put much effort into us or she didn't really share many common interests. I found those things easy to put together in my mind and realize it wasn't right.
However, with my current ex, the only thing wrong with her is that she never fell in love with me. From a logical standpoint I know this is huge and probably the number one thing I should be thinking about. But everything else she was to me was what I wanted. We were compatible, shared the same goals, wanted children one day, had similar value on life ect. But for her, being 21, it wasn't the right time in her life for "love". She wasn't looking for that right now whereas I was. That was our deal breaker.
I just can't seem to get past this from an emotional standpoint. Or at least make myself believe that timing for someone is just as important as anything else when understanding if one's significant other is right for them. It’s easy to say you shouldn’t love someone who doesn’t love you back, but harder in practice
I don't know if I'm really looking for advice per se, because I feel like I know what I'm supposed to believe and that I need to move on. I guess I just want to hear some thoughts or personal experience in this type of situation.
I feel like my head and my heart are at war.