spreading the news with a chuckle

December 3, 2010 4:15 PM

We're engaged. (Yippee!) We've told all our family and close friends already. And now we would love your wonderful advice about how to announce it on the Facebook, maybe with a little humor.

We're casual people, outdoorsy, artsy, active, late 30's/early 40's, & this is a second marriage for one of us. We don't have a date set yet, and will probably get hitched on a beach wearing shorts. How can we let our Facebook friends know, but in a fun casual way? Thanks for any creative ideas!

posted by Alpenglow to Human Relations (23 answers total)

Boring, but I'd say just change your relationship status to engaged.

I've seen others change their profile photo to the ring.
posted by k8t at 4:27 PM on December 3, 2010

Just change your status. If your friends appreciate quirky humor, believe me, they'll provide it themselves in the comments area. Believe me. Let them have their fun.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 4:30 PM on December 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

Join private groups consisting of "Future Husband/Wife/etc/ of $future_spouse" and otherwise neither of you should say anything until other people start asking questions.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 4:34 PM on December 3, 2010

Did you see how Sarah Palin's facebook page got hacked? If you have enough FB friends already in the know (or tell, then recruit some), you could...

a) set up a mystery event/cause page, call it something like "We wanted you to know..." but don't actually say anything about the engagement.

b) have your friends change their profile pics and post such that the wall reads "We're Engaged!" or somesuch.

c) invite all your friends to the event/group.

I dunno, cheezy? Cute? Guess it depends on the the target audience! ;)

And CONGRATS!!
posted by miss_kitty_fantastico at 4:40 PM on December 3, 2010

Take a series of cutesy photos of yourselves that tell a story without words except for the first, which might say, "START HERE ->". These photos might end in a picture of one of you going down on one knee and proposing (regardless of how it actually happened - that's a scene people recognize right away) and the other looking surprised. Or something like that. You two can figure out how it goes. Anyway, create an album for these photos and upload them. Give the album an interesting name like "She/He Said Yes!" or something more cryptic if you like.
posted by katillathehun at 4:46 PM on December 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is just an example. I think it was in poor taste (b/c it was not discussed with the fiancee prior to posting). But it was funny, and maybe it will give you an idea.

When my friends got engaged, one simply changed his status to "engaged," and the other quickly changed hers to "It's complicated." This naturally confused the hell out of their more traditional family members because they expected "I'm engaged! I'm blushing and excited and can't wait to participate in this tiresome expression of patriarchal hegemony!"

Watching the relatives express their confusion over and disdain for "it's complicated" on her wall was thoroughly entertaining.
posted by Tehhund at 4:49 PM on December 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

Also, please don't change your Facebook picture to your engagement ring. A picture of you two, sure - that's cute and understandable. But the engagement ring screams "I'm so enthralled by this ritual that the people involved no longer matter, and I plan on letting it define me for the foreseeable future!" Engagements are beautiful, letting it define you isn't. Of course, you probably already know that.

Man, I sound a little bitter. Congrats, and I'm sure it will be wonderful!
posted by Tehhund at 4:52 PM on December 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

We got engaged on vacation, so when we posted our photos, I mentioned in my status that I had a a surprise in the new album, drawing people there where they could see a photo of us with the ring on my hand. We got some really lovely comments under the photo and on the status.

Also, the way we were standing in the photo (my fiance behind me with his hand on my stomach with my hand on top showing off the ring) apparently made at least one person think I was pregnant (I was most definitely not), so that's a way to freak people out. Shotgun wedding!
posted by pised at 4:53 PM on December 3, 2010

Oh, and congrats! It's so much being engaged!
posted by pised at 4:57 PM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Start a back and forth war with each of you recommending different Amazon self-help books, progressing from the most harsh dysfunctional relationship disaster books, to treacly "1000 ways to say I love you", to ring selection and wedding planning books.

There are some really ridiculous titles out there in the self-help sections which would make for some good commentary.

Ring pictures say "I am materialistic" to me, but YMMV.
posted by benzenedream at 5:00 PM on December 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

Why not just post a link to this question?
posted by hammurderer at 5:25 PM on December 3, 2010

Best answer: Status: "No longer complicated"
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 5:36 PM on December 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

Congratulations! I'm going to be the mean one and say -- you've already told your close friends and family. That means your "Facebook friends" are people you don't know very well. I doubt they will care very much about something creative or pay much attention. I think you're overthinking this and putting too much effort into it. Don't be the engaged couple that gets all stuck on themselves...

Just change your status.
posted by unannihilated at 7:17 PM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

When I got married I changed my Facebook status to "It's Complicated". When anyone asks, I explain that a good marriage is not a simple thing. I think it's hilarious. Everyone else thinks I'm an idiot. My wife does not do Facebook, but she thinks I'm an idiot for unrelated reasons.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 8:49 PM on December 3, 2010 [7 favorites]

Status update: "After a long discussion, we've decided to stop dating. While we care deeply for each other, we felt it was time to move on and seek other opportunities in life."

Wait for condolences to roll in. Laugh.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:51 PM on December 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

I frequently post pictures of recipes we make. When we got engaged, I posted an album of "chocolate chip cookies". Step one was "get engaged" (photo of ring), step two was "make cookies to celebrate" (photo of cookies). Went over way better then I expected.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 10:16 PM on December 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

One thing to keep in mind re: posting ambiguous/jokey statuses... it's possible one of your friends might chime in with "Oh good riddance! You're so much better off withotu him/her!" as a gesture of support. Which would turn out to be pretty awkward for everyone involved.

Totally depends on your friends' communication styles, of course.
posted by miss_kitty_fantastico at 11:46 PM on December 3, 2010

The disco video at jibjab.com is fun. Use photos of yourselves as the heads, and you can upload it to facebook.
posted by vitabellosi at 2:42 AM on December 4, 2010

we just changed our relationship statuses and waited for people to notice.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:38 AM on December 4, 2010

Change your status to "I've finally bagged me a Homer."
posted by spilon at 8:41 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Some friends of mine are pregnant, and to announce the gender of the baby a while back, they did a witty thing... they didn't make any announcements or status changes, but both updated their profile pic to a photo of a jack o'lantern carved with "It's a Boy".

What if you changed your pic to an iron ball, and your betrothed changes pic to a length of chain? Kind of tongue-in-cheek with the "ball & chain" thing but folks who know you both will put two and two together.

Or if you changed your pic to a wedding cake topper, which is a recognizable symbol of a ceremony without being all "hey look at our jewelry"? There are topper styles out there to suit all personalities so you could find one that conveys who you are as a couple.
posted by pineapple at 8:42 AM on December 4, 2010

Oh my goodness, people. A ring is a symbol of the commitment. It doesn't have to imply anything about materialism. Sure, if you put in a caption like, "Check out the sweet bling!" it's going to come off like the rock is more important than the guy. But a plain picture of your hand with a ring on it does not, to me at least, say anything more than, "Here is a photo that very clearly conveys in our cultural context the message I'm trying to get across, which is that I am now engaged." Personally I like seeing people's engagement rings, not to figure out how much money the dude could spend or whatever, but to see what style they picked for a piece of jewelry they're planning to wear every day for the rest of their life.
posted by vytae at 10:18 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Eh, I am also not a fan of ring photos. I find them kinda boring/cheesy/tacky. I much rather see a picture of the happy couple taken right after the engagement, to see their faces full of excitement and joy. I only showed ring pics to people who directly asked me to see mine (all of two people).

I made a status update saying, "Holy crispy crap, I'm engaged." As stated above, plenty of jokes came out in the comments.
posted by Windigo at 3:25 PM on December 4, 2010