Am I pregnant? AARGH.

September 30, 2010 8:15 AM

Pregnancy tests and freaking out - help!

Background: OH and I (I'm female) have been trying to conceive for nearly two years. We're starting the infertility testing process, and nothing's been found so far (his sperm count is fine, all my blood tests are fine, my ovaries look OK, other scans planned for me).

Each month I wonder whether I might be pregnant, and imagine I'm having all sorts of symptoms. This month, though, I really am exhausted, yet have insomnia, my breasts are hurting on and off, I'm having mild abdominal cramping, my bowels are playing up and I've been crying for no reason. I only ever get the last of these as a PMS symptom. I've had a very bad cough for a few weeks so any of the above symptoms could in theory be caused by some virus or other that won't go away.

My period is due today/tomorrow. I have a very regular 25-26 day cycle (used to be 28 days, shortened for no reason a few years ago) and get very few PMS symptoms and trouble-free and mostly painless periods lasting 4 days or so.

My question (apart from "how do I stop freaking out and obsessing" - pregnancy would be fantastic news) relates to pregnancy tests. I've bought some of these tests and a test this morning was negative. They claim to be extra-sensitive but the reviews seem to doubt this. I'm going to keep testing, particularly if my period doesn't show up, but should I buy some "normal" (i.e. expensive) tests as well?

I'm in the UK so apart from pregnancy tests there are minimal costs involved in all this. I do realise that in a few days I'm going to be feeling silly one way or another, but I find this is occupying a lot of space in my mind and I'd like some guidance.

posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (12 answers total)

The waiting sucks, but I'm afraid there isn't much you can do about it. It's very likely it's a false negative at this point (super-sensitive is still limited). However, it is also likely you're late because of the stress and hope-hope-hoping that you won't start your period.

I'd advise to try not to think about it. Distract your self in any way you can. And in a week, take another test.
posted by Eicats at 8:32 AM on September 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

You can get free pregnancy tests on the NHS - GP practices do them, but sexual health/contraceptive clinics might be the best bet (you can ring them up and ask if they give kits you can take away or if you have to bring in a urine sample to be tested, as I can see this affecting whether you want to do this). If there's a walk-in centre near you I think they do pregnancy tests too.

Beyond that Eicats has some very sound advice.
posted by Coobeastie at 8:47 AM on September 30, 2010

They say you can't be "a little bit pregnant" but my sister-in-law actually was when she took her test too early. Whatever chemicals/hormones those tests check on were elevated beyond normal levels, but nowhere near enough to count as positive. No matter which tests you buy, if you aren't "pregnant enough" the tests aren't going to show a positive result. It's not a matter of which test to buy, it's about giving your body time to change its chemistry. So, yeah, there's no way around it. You have to wait a week or so and test again.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:54 AM on September 30, 2010

Ohhhh, I've been there. I have some of those exact same tests in my bathroom drawer. They are a bad idea, because you get something like 25 or 50 to a bag which means you can test obsessively. This will occupy too much space in your head, stress you out, and depress the hell out of you.

My advice is to step away from the HPT's until you are X number of days late. They are really an exercise in futility before you are even late because it's unlikely that you will see a strong line before then. That faint second line might be an early positive, or it might be what the ladies in the trying-to-conceive forums call an "evap line", which is essentially a phantom line that comes up as the test dries. Also, some women don't start developing hcg until later on, or your ovulation might have been a little later that cycle, so it could be a false negative. All these variables will dance around in your head until you get your period, and then not only do you have your period, you also have a bunch of negative pregnancy tests.

So please don't count on early positives. The tests you linked to have been fine for some people when used early, but others complain about their reliability. Me, I've had no evap lines on those, they always come out very very clearly negative. Keep them if you don't want to waste the money you spent, but make yourself use them only after your period is overdue by at least a couple of days. At that point I don't think their reliability is at all a problem. Even then, a lot of people go out and buy a digital test to confirm the positive. That, at least, should save you some money over buying the drugstore brands every month.

I don't know if you are charting your basal body temperature to track your cycle, but the longer I do it the more I can tell a day or two in advance that my period is on its way. It is also great for getting a feel for when you ovulate. Good luck to you and feel free to send me a PM if you'd like.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 9:00 AM on September 30, 2010

The "normal" expensive tests are simply those kind of strips put inside in a plastic wand and sold in a fancy box. There's no need to get them. You can look at PeeOnAStick.com to see anecdotal evidence of how early some tests work, along with pictures, etc.
posted by zsazsa at 9:08 AM on September 30, 2010

Yeah, the only thing you can do is step away from tests altogether and just breathe deep, zen-like, and wait and see.

I never managed to do this a single month I was trying to conceive, mind you. The cabinet under my sink is still filled with empty pregnancy test boxes that I don't want to throw out en masse because my husband will see them and I will be embarrassed, and I'm 34 weeks pregnant. So I know well how hard this advice is to take.
posted by KathrynT at 9:22 AM on September 30, 2010

Home pregnancy tests have never worked for me. I'm now 9 weeks pregnant with our second child. Even the urine test they did at the doctor's office a couple of weeks ago came back negative, but the blood test was positive and the ultrasound showed the little parasite rocking around in there. No idea why they don't work for me.
posted by moosedogtoo at 9:32 AM on September 30, 2010

Re: symptoms -- I had none AT ALL until after I knew I was definitely pregnant -- at about 6-7 weeks. Looking for symptoms can be crazy-making and futile.

The wait is hard, and it can be hard not to obsess -- but try to relax. In the end, you'll know either way.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 9:47 AM on September 30, 2010

Use every relaxation technique you have at your disposal, from warm baths to candlelit rooms to biofeedback, whatever has worked for you in the past. There's nothing you can do except wait, and when my children were conceived in circumstances not unlike yours, there was much peeing on sticks and obsessing over the negatives -- so much so that, when she finally got a positive, she woke me up in the morning saying "guess what?" and I responded (half-asleep) "you peed on a stick and it was positive can i go back to sleep now?"

In short: a negative on an HPT does not rule out pregnancy, it's not doing you any good to stress about each negative, so stop peeing on sticks for a while.
posted by davejay at 9:58 AM on September 30, 2010

What DrGirlfriend said. When I was having difficulty getting pregnant, I was doing the exact same thing you’re doing. Took way too many negative pregnancy tests, so I know how it feels. But then I started tracking my temps, and when I finally got pregnant for real, I knew it before I even took the test! So that is something you might want to start if you haven’t already. And good luck - I hope this one is it for you!
posted by yawper at 11:03 AM on September 30, 2010

The 2 times I was pregnant, I didn't get a positive test until I was AT LEAST 2 weeks late (even using the ultra-sensitive tests).

I had many other months where pregnancy symptoms convinced me I was pregnant, but I wasn't.
posted by belladonna at 5:06 PM on September 30, 2010

Well, if you're really dying to know, you can ask your doctor do a serum betaHCG which is a bit more sensitive, however it is more expensive and given that it doesn't really change what you're going to do, one might argue this is a waste of time. Of course, uncertainty and anxiety are important concerns, but there are still false negatives and early miscarriages happen as well, you'll be trading one set of worries for another. Like other people have said, you can make your self crazy-anxious with testing. Furthermore, being crazy-anxious isn't helpful for conceiving or gestating a child. I know it's hard, but be patient and try to relax. From the moment of conception until they are grown and leaving home, everything having to do with children is about patience and taking things as they come.

Good luck, I can tell from your question how badly you want this child. You're going to be a great parent.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:29 PM on October 1, 2010