Selling Tickets to the Delivery Room
September 21, 2010 12:09 AM Subscribe
How to negotiate difference of opinion between mum and dad on who should be present at baby's birth?
posted by Kappi to Human Relations (88 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I don't want any family/friends in the delivery room other than my husband. Husband insists his mother be allowed to attend. How do we come to a compromise on this?
I've tried to have a rational discussion explaining that I think it's a private time between he, baby and I and that anything that adds to my lack of comfort is going to make an already stressful situation worse (and potentially dangerous due to existing high blood pressure issues). His response was to become upset, express dismay that I wanted to deprive his mother of the experience and threaten that he too will leave the room if I ask her to.
I have absolutely nothing against his mother - she's a wonderful woman - but the only people I'm going to be comfortable with whilst actively pushing out a person are my husband and the medical professionals. I have no problem with the entire extended family being at the hospital and traipsing in once baby has arrived, just not while I'm getting down to business.
I know I can have the nurses run interference on my behalf when the time comes but my main concern is coming to some kind of understanding with my husband, rather than getting what I want at any cost.
He comes from a large and fairly close family whereas I'm from a very small, dysfunctional one so it's no wonder we don't see eye to eye on this. As a secondary issue, I'm a little hurt that my partner is so willing to sacrifice my peace of mind for his mother's, but that may just be crazy pregnancy hormones talking.
Am I being unreasonable here? If you've been in a similar situation, how did you deal with it? What's the best tactic for coming to an agreement on this before the birth?