I didn't sign on to be single mom
August 9, 2010 3:02 PM Subscribe
My husband's schedule is making me miserable and resentful. He can't change his schedule right now, so what I can do to deal with it better?
posted by anonymous to human relations (17 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My husband started a new job in January. He gets home at 7 most nights and he works every other weekend.
He also has a 12yo daughter who lives with her mother. Since moving into our new house, the daughter has refused to spend the night, so instead of her coming to stay with us every other weekend, he spends Saturday and Sunday with her alone and drops her off back at her mom's in the early evening. He also sees her after school until 9pm, two days a week.
As a result, I feel like I'm only seeing him for a few hours a day, a few days a week, and when he is home, he is usually too tired and stressed out to want to do anything beside veg out in front of the tv.
This isn't working for me. I also work full-time but since I have a more flexible schedule (and no older child to deal with), everything gets thrown on me. At the beginning, I just missed him and missed spending quality time together, but now I am starting to feel bitter about that fact that he's never around to clean the house, cook dinner, run errands, take care of our 15 month old baby, and nevermind things like hanging out with friends, dinner parties, going to parks or museums, or whatever.
He can't adjust his work schedule (and he is looking for a new job, but it's hard of course), and he can't/wouldn't want to cut back on the time he gets to spend with his older daughter, so I think is just the schedule we are going to have to live with for the foreseeable future. He's not happy with it either and I don't want to add to his stress and frustration, but I find myself glumping around the house being furiously Quiet at him and he has no idea why. We seem to be bickering all the time and I just don't know what to do.
How do I deal with the fact that I am lonely and overworked and undersleeped and stressed out and sad, without taking it out on him?